My fiance and I are somewhere between reform and conservative. He grew up in a reconstructionist family. One of his brothers is Modern Orthodox. One recently married a Catholic girl. Growing up, in my parents' household, keeping kosher meant not buttering a pork chop. I am the most religious one out of my family.
About 20-30 of our guests will be Orthodox. The rest are either reform or not Jewish. We are having a tradiitional ceremony. I wanted to do the traditional Christian wedding vows (to have, hold, love, honor, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part) after the Jewish portion is done but before the breaking of the glass. Those vows have nothing to do with Christianity or Jesus and I think that they are very beautiful and also being that a lot of our guests are not Jewish, I think it will be nice to have an element of the ceremony that they are familiar with. I went to a conservative wedding a couple of years ago where they did that and I thought that it was such a beautiful thing.
My fiance is on board with doing this. I have mentioned this idea to a few people, and I got told very rudely by someone that I was being goyishe and that I would alienate my Orthoox guests and make them uncomfortable if we did that.
Have you been to a wedding where the couple did that before? If you haven't- would you feel uncomfortable with it?
*My fiance and I will have lived together for 10 months before the wedding, which all of our Orthodox guests know (I moved out of the country to be with him) so they are coming to this understanding that this won't be a totally frum wedding.