covering tattoos

matkef · March 2012

2 of my 8 bridesmaids have back/shoulder tattoos that I would prefer not to be seen on my wedding day. We are having a formal wedding and I'd rather it not be a distraction, however, I don't want to offend my girls by asking them to wear their hair down or use cover up. Any advice on how to approach this? I'm especially woried about my one bridesmaid who has recently become rudely outspoken and expressed that she wants to wear her hair up...

Ilumine · March 2012

And exactly how will their tattoos be a distraction? I am not being snarky here, but other than a general "nice dress" kind of moment, my eyes are only on the bride.

Not to mention, you asked your BMs because of who they are...your friends. And you love them for who they are...your friends. You love them for their personalites. Your friends have the personalities to get tattoos.

Finally, even though YOU love them for who they are...their choice in body art is not a reflection on you. Anyone who would "condemn you" for another grown-ups choice is pitiful. And who cares what pitiful and shallow and petty people think?

So, if you are STILL wanting to ask your BMs to cover up, then YOU need to make dress choice changes. Get one that covers the back OR add a cute wrap but DO NOT MENTION WHY.

yellowrose314 · March 2012

Agree with PP, you chose your BM's because you love them for them, and that includes their body art. You can't pick and choose features that you like and cover up the ones you don't, that's kind of rude. And like IIumine said, no one is going to notice the tattoos, with the exception of maybe some older people, but as soon as you come down the isle, I doubt they'd even notice if someone had a full leopard print from head to toe tattooed on their body; you are the star attraction, so don't worry about them.

kmmssg · March 2012

As a MOB I agree with the others - you choose the girls, you choose their tattoos. If you don't want them to show, choose a dress that minimizes this and that is the best you can do.

em01092 · March 2012

Ditto PPs, 100%. The exception I will make for you is if you're getting married in a church, and there is a dress code. Then you can have alll of the BMs wear particular dresses that cover their back/shoulders, or buy them all shawls or wraps. Also, your BM can wear her hair however she wishes.

Actually, even if your wedding isn't in a church, I think you're within your bounds to buy them all pashminas (NOT as a "gift"-this would be part of their costume for your wedding) and have them wear them. Just don't single out the BMs with tattoos.

But yeah, your post makes you sound kind of shallow, and really, no one is going to care about the BMs visable tats, except maybe a few people over the age of 75.

graysquirrel · March 2012

I agree with pps-- it is rude to ask people to cover their tattoos. I myself don't like tattoos at all-- I think that they look trashy. One of my best friends, however, loves them and has a few. Yeah, her tattoos showed during the wedding, and yeah, you can see them in some pics, but they are part of my friend. I wouldn't ask her to change who she is just so I didn't have to see them for a day because her body didn't go with my vision. Nobody in my very conservative family cared-- they were focused on watching my husband and I get married.

When one is planning stuff, little things like this sound like a big deal, but on your wedding day you will be so nervous and excited and busy that I would bet you wont even notice your friend's tattoo. I didn't.

jemmini6 · March 2012

To me, asking someone to cover their tattoos so they don't show in pictures would be like asking someone to lose weight for your wedding because you don't want their fat to show in your pictures. It's extremely offensive and never okay. Like PP's said, you knew they had tattoos when you chose them, so it's really unfair to ask them to change themselves just for your wedding.

The only thing you can do if you want to minimize their appearance is choose attire that will cover them up. This goes for all the bridesmaids, not just the ones with tattoos. But even that is unnecessary IMO because YOU are the bride and I guarentee that's where most of the focus will be, no matter what your BMs wear or how many tattoos they have.

shadowkat08 · March 2012

Ditto PPs.

I think the only legitimate reason you could ask them to cover up is if the tattoos are offensive. Then I think you would be well within your rights to ask them to cover up, especially if you're having a church wedding.

mbody · March 2012

Sorry OP, but there is not a nice or approproate way to ask them to cover up their tattoos. Their tattoo is a part of them now. I like the comparison a PP used of asking a BM to lose weight. You would never do that right? I wouldn't even touch the subject with them- it could hurt their feelings and your relationship. Not worth it.

bunni727 · March 2012

We are having a relatively formal wedding. My MOH has eight tattoos that will for sure be showing. She has a full sleeve on one arm, both wrists, both feet are covered, a piece low on each thigh will peek out, and the back of her neck has a shamrock. Oh, and she has a mohawk. And gauged ears. and a septum ring. No one else at the wedding will have visible tattoos. She's going to stick out like a porcupine in a nudist colony

She's beautiful and the best friend I've ever had. She would cover them all in a heartbeat if I asked, but I would never in a million years want her to feel anything less than perfect exactly the way she is.

Please don't mention it, I'm sure none of us need any extra insecurities.

StephBeanWed61502 · March 2012

You could try this:

"Hi Friends. I know that we're really close and all (since, you know, I asked you to be BMs and stand with me on my wedding day), but you guys have ugly and distracting tattoos, and I really, really need you to cover them for the wedding BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO LOOK ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AT ME FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE DAY. So, unless you agree to alter your appearance for my special, special day, I'm going to have to ask you not to be a BM anymore, because making sure that my pictures are 'perfect' and that all of the attention is solely on me at all times is more important to me than our friendship. Is that okay?"

Does this sound like how you want to treat your friends? Over some tattoos that you knew they had when you asked them to be in the bridal party?

user1223 · March 2012

I disagree with all of these posters. It's YOUR wedding day - you can ask them wear a certain dress; you can ask them to paint their nails a cerain color; you can ask them to style their hair a certain way; and you can as those two with tatoos to cover them up.

Tatoos are rather trashy and you can most certainly ask them to cover them up beause you are absolutely right - they WILL be a distraction from what should be soley YOUR day.

Just ask. You can be polite, but ask if you want to ask.

AwesomeMOH79 · March 2012

I agree-it's your wedding day-I covered up my own tattoo on my wedding day-that doesn't mean I love or respect MYSELF any less-it just wasn't appropriate for the occasion-that's all and it's no reflection on how you feel about your friends. In fact I am going to be a MOH soon and I will be covering my tattoo on my bride's wedding day-I have absolutely NO problem with that at all I don't think it's a big deal and I"m more than happy to do it. I would like to think that your girls would feel the same way I do-that it's YOUR day-you're spending a ton of time and presumably money on it and everyone needs to be appropriately attired. Just as some jobs don't allow tattoos-they are not right for certain occasions either. Just ask them-I would take NO offense whatsoever. Just b/c you don't like my tatoo for a church wedding-doesn't mean you don't value me as a person. And WHY is everybody in attack mode here? Calm down there are soooo many snarky responses here.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Look, the truth is, it's YOUR day. You can ultimately make these decisions yourself and you just have to feel comfortable with them. However, I do agree that there were many snarky responses here (NOT ALL, JUST SOME for those who may be offended when it's unneccesary) and I don't disagree with you wanting to control certain aspects of the "look" on your wedding day.

The reason I feel this way is because 1) I have tattoos myself, which will be covered on my own wedding day and 2) I have several bridesmaids with tattoos who will also cover their tattoos for my wedding. I only want the tats covered for formal photos and my church ceremony because I'm paying a lot of money for photos and want at least some to choose from that are completely "clean" if you will. I don't give a damn what other people think about the look of my bridal party. I'm doing this for me, including the coverage of my own tattoos so I don't see anything wrong with getting your girls to wear a wrap or cover-up of some kind for formal photos. After the ceremony and reception, I wouldn't worry about it, though. You'll be having way too much fun dancing and greeting your guests to care once the party gets started.

covering tattoos

Re: covering tattoos

Choose Another Board

Search Boards