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Canada-Toronto

I Do take two wedding attire poll


  Second time around etiquette has changed so much over the years it has my head spinning.

  I am somewhat a prude when it comes to etiquette and the websites are not helping.

I can understand a bride wearing white no matter what number wedding it is for her as it is showing the purity of the relationship not virginity.

I totally fell in love with my dress and when I stated I would have to have the train taken off as it is my second marriage I thought the women at the bridal boutique would have a heart attack.   So I go on line to check it out and find that about 75% not only say white, with train are acceptable but a veil; provided it is not a blusher veil is perfectly alright if it is fitting with the formality and style of dress.

What is your take on this?

Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll

  • LittlinLittlin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I said do whatever you want, but I also think it should match the formality a bit too.  It's your day - do what makes you the most comfortable! :)
  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    White originally symbolized wealth, not purity. :)

    Wear whatever you want.  My cousin wore a full white dress with train, veil and blusher at her second wedding.  I gave the blusher the side-eye, but didn't see anything wrong with the rest.  You're wearing a wedding dress, not making a political statement.  Who cares if it's your first or second marriage?  Wear the dress that makes you feel beautiful.
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  • sytomsytom member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I voted  as long as it matches the formalith, but I think I would be tempted to ask around what people feel is right.  I don't get the it's your wedding, you do what you want.  It's not only yours, it's also your FIs and I don't know if you have children, but it's their's too.  I honestly think you can wear white, have a train and a veil, but I wouldn't want to offend someone close to my heart.
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto lalap on the symbolism of white - it signified wealth, not purity! It was highly impractical to buy a dress that would show dirt so easily, and only the very rich could afford such a gown (like Queen Victoria who started the trend).

    Blue is actually the symbol of purity; hence, something blue.

    I think that because second+ weddings generally tend to be more low key, that's why many second-time brides don't have a train or a veil. But that has more to do with the dress matching the formality of the wedding than any "rules". People tend to be much more relaxed about those rules these days. If it matches the formality, I say wear whatever you want. (I would avoid the blusher, personally.)

    While I do agree that it's not JUST *your* wedding and you shouldn't offend people... I also think that people would be silly and petty to be offended by YOUR choice of dress. I agree with Littlin and lalap... wear what you love!
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_two-wedding-attire-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:6509ff03-8d54-4cb0-a548-ec016916f381Post:8c8c3fd4-e868-4048-8aae-2c7d9bffaa49">Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]I voted  as long as it matches the formalith, but I think I would be tempted to ask around what people feel is right.  I don't get the it's your wedding, you do what you want .  It's not only yours, it's also your FIs and I don't know if you have children, but it's their's too.  I honestly think you can wear white, have a train and a veil, but I wouldn't want to offend someone close to my heart.
    Posted by sytom[/QUOTE]
    I've never been an advocate of "it's your day, do whatever you want" but how is the clothing she wears offensive?  I'd think the people close to her heart - her FI, her children if she has them - would want her to feel beautiful too because I imagine she's close to their hearts as well.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_two-wedding-attire-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:6509ff03-8d54-4cb0-a548-ec016916f381Post:dd27d968-100a-4a88-9669-591a5bb3723e">Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto lalap on the symbolism of white - it signified wealth, not purity! It was highly impractical to buy a dress that would show dirt so easily, and only the very rich could afford such a gown (like Queen Victoria who started the trend). <strong>Blue is actually the symbol of purity; hence, something blue. </strong>
    Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]
    I think blue actually signifies fidelity: "married in blue, you'll always be true".  It's the only line I remember from a rhyme about the different dress colours women would wear on their wedding day.  (Because it used to be a dress from the bride's closet.  A little more practical than how we do things these days!)
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well I know it's just not the BRIDE's wedding, but the dress is really her choice, and I don't think what she chooses would offend anyone.  People will always have different opinions on what is appropriate for 2nd time around brides, but it is a very special day regardless, so wear what makes you feel beautiful and like a bride!  :)
  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_two-wedding-attire-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:6509ff03-8d54-4cb0-a548-ec016916f381Post:6e35cf33-8dd8-4554-9f49-f95aeac456be">Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll : I think blue actually signifies fidelity: "married in blue, you'll always be true".  It's the only line I remember from a rhyme about the different dress colours women would wear on their wedding day.  (Because it used to be a dress from the bride's closet.  A little more practical than how we do things these days!)
    Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

    You're probably right too. I was thinking in terms of blue being the colour of the Virgin Mary.
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  • sytomsytom member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_two-wedding-attire-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:6509ff03-8d54-4cb0-a548-ec016916f381Post:d699a212-6f50-4c2a-865b-65821e5ce4a6">Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll : I've never been an advocate of "it's your day, do whatever you want" but how is the clothing she wears offensive?  I'd think the people close to her heart - her FI, her children if she has them - would want her to feel beautiful too because I imagine she's close to their hearts as well.
    Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

    You are absolutely right!!!  The most important thing is to feel beautiful!!!!  I didn't choose my words correctly and I'm sorry.  What I meant to say was that I wouldn't feel beautiful if I knew someone really important to me didn't approve my choice.  It would make me really sad to know that someone didn't like what I was wearing.  For example, I know that my mom would have been really sad if I didn't want to wear a long white dress.  That's what I meant.
    I'm sorry if I caused any trouble.
    I hope you were able to come to a decision.   : )
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_two-wedding-attire-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:6509ff03-8d54-4cb0-a548-ec016916f381Post:00f0062d-ecea-4a0c-971e-913c99f9abee">Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I Do take two wedding attire poll : You are absolutely right!!!  The most important thing is to feel beautiful!!!!  I didn't choose my words correctly and I'm sorry.  What I meant to say was that I wouldn't feel beautiful if I knew someone really important to me didn't approve my choice.  It would make me really sad to know that someone didn't like what I was wearing.  For example, I know that my mom would have been really sad if I didn't want to wear a long white dress.  That's what I meant. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble. I hope you were able to come to a decision.   : )
    Posted by sytom[/QUOTE]
    No worries - no trouble at all. There is something to be said for the opinions of the dearest people in your life. That's why I took my husband wedding dress shopping with me :)
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    See - and I wanted DH to give an opinion too, but he REFUSED to come shopping or even look at my dress the entire time we were engaged, even though it was hanging in a bag on the back of our bedroom door!  I guess he was the more traditional one!
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