Kids + Receptions =???

kenyasobeautiful · December 2010

Well...FI and I had our first *disagreement* the other night. He wants to invite his close family and ALL of their children. He had one family on his guest list as the mom/dad and FOUR girls...one of whom is a niece and not even real family member. Then he had another uncle on the list with his two daughters both of whom are under 10.

*Sigh*

I LOVE kids...but I just do not...want them at my reception. I'm sorry I'm entitled to THREE (3) Bridezilla moments, per the Bridal Handbook and this one I am absolutely not budging on.

I am perfectly fine with "young adults" ages 13 and up. And the ones I've included are about 7 guest of which we will have a room in the BnB set up for them with video games, music, snacks, etc so they can party within the party. The only children under 13 I want are my ring bearer and flowergirl.

FI is a little pouty over it but I've been to so many weddings and observed "babies gone wild" and I just...don't want that on my day.

So...what are you guys planning on doing for your reception? Kids or No?

kenyasobeautiful · December 2010

correction *friend of a niece* is what I meant to write for the girl FI wants to invite.

admallard · December 2010

We're having kids. I didn't want kids but my mama convinced me to change my mind (I should have stuck to my original decision!) But for kids under 13 we're feeding them pizza provided by the venue and I made little activity books for them with some crayons. We have 15 kids under 13 (Lord help me) but hopefully they won't get in the way lol!!!

tyboyd · December 2010

No kids at all for my... I mean our... wedding ceremony or reception! Sorry. FI's 10 yr old and my 15 yr old {when we get married} brother are the only ones allowed. I don't even want a flower girl or ring bearer. Nope. Hire a baby sitter, do what you gotta do, but don't bring them to my... I mean our... wedding!

{I'm just as passionate as you are about this.}

kenyasobeautiful · December 2010

@admallard....awww...that's cute the pizza and activity books!!! that is a nice way to keep them entertained. i hope the venue is charging you reduced rate for that....i know some places with the nerve to charge FULL price for a kiddie plate. humph!
@tyboyd....HILARIOUS!!!!! i know exactly what you mean. well check this...i only wanted a flower girl because FI little cousin...is cuter than a basket of puppies like the type of little girl that just...I couldn't say no to. and she's 6 acting like she's 16 ok? but i didn't want a ring bearer.

well darling love of my life....went ahead and asked one of his GM if his son would be the ring bearer before i really knew how i felt and now i feel obligated.

i'm trying to figure out a way to get out of it...but my conscience won't let me, ya know. but i ToTAlly feel you!

2010Bride2be · December 2010

My nieces and cousin are in the wedding party (all under 10). Other than that, we have a few family members who are coming from OOT who are bringing their children. While I don't mind them at the ceremony, I didn't necessarily want them at the reception. We decided to reserve a suite at the hotel where the reception is being held. There will be 2 hired sitters there to watch the kids. They'll have lots of food and snacks, DVDs on a projector, Wii, games, etc. Anything to keep them occupied so they'll stay out of their parents' hair.

A&M_Abyss · December 2010

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE AND DID I MENTION NOPE

I don't want children there to run around and have their parents watching them vs. enjoying our wedding as adults. FI wanted them but I fought him on this b/c there was no way in HELL it was happening. I feel VERY strongly about this and will not budge. If you invite one set you have to invite them ALL and there are just way too many children in our family to consider this. The only children will be from the bridal party 6, 8, and 10

7venAfricano · December 2010

I'll probably end up having a total of 30 kids at me wedding if things continue to progress the way they have. I don't mind because of the type of celebration we're having- this is the way these functions are done lol. . . Not really, I only recall the Liberian Independence Day celebrations and I just remember that, even with all the kids, they're STILL loads of fun and that's what it's all about. Besides, anyone bringing kids knows how to handle their children. I plan on making chicken fingers or mini burgers for the kids, some fries and since I love to draw, I'm making as many pictures as I can for them to color. I haven't given it much thought but we could probably get a few toys or something for them and some puzzles (kids like puzzles right?) lol....let the madness begin

kiyamurph · December 2010

No way no how am I having kids. I think I would feel differently if we were having a casual afternoon wedding. But our wedding is going to be black-tie in the evening and there's no way I'd have a lot of kids at a black-tie wedding. If I were a parent I wouldn't even want to bring my child to a function like that, so no way on the kids. The only children that will be there is the ring bearer, who's the most well behaved kid ever, seriously, and the flower girl. Other than that, no kids!

hisSparklett · December 2010

There will be kids at our reception. They don't bother me much and I love to watch my little cousins dance case honey they can jam! There is also a place at the venue that I may have set up for the smaller kids with an activity book and games.

kenyasobeautiful · December 2010

@2010Bride...that's what we are doing. The Bnb has 4 guest suites we can use. One is going to be a teen party suite...Wii, PS3...Xbox...games, music, some snacks. And there will be about...9 kids there. I say kids loosely because all of them are over 13 except the rb and fg.
@A&M...I feel ya girl!!! I'm totally there and FI is not getting it. He thinks we would "offend" people by saying no kids. He's the "polite" one which is why I'm with him. But I told him....its common and acceptable these days. And if someone is offended I'm sorry but I'm not budging.

kenyasobeautiful · December 2010

@7ven....awww...bless your heart girl! It seems to me you have the visiion of what you want your day to be! That's awesome and I really commend you for that!
@kiya...that's how I feel as well. If it were a clam bake/picnic I'd be totally for it. But our wedding is cozy, intimate....there's gonna be adult stuff going on there it's just better that they stay home.

And what offends me the most of this fiasco is FI "forgetting" I AM a parent. I've been invited to countless weddings and not one time have I brought my boys! I don't want to. That's my time as an "Mom" to get dressed up....go out...drink, dance and enjoy myself. Besides my two....were rambuctious when they were little....lol and I KNEW it. If someone gave me 6 weeks notice, that's plenty of time for me to find a sitter and make arrangements. And the invites I got that did specifically say "Adults Only" never....offended me.

BluIvory82 · December 2010

OMG, no kids, no kids no kids! I love kids, I really do love kids but to have them running around at our wedding, I think I will go crazy! My ring bearer and flower girl will be going home after the ceremony!

I can remember as a kid I used to hate going to weddings! Weddings to me are "grown up time" , a night out......again no kids lol

msktn95 · December 2010

I feel the same way. I don't want a bunch of kids running around on my day. The only kids that will be at wedding are the ones that are in the wedding. My FI and I have talked about this and he agrees with me. My FI has a big family and a lot of his family members have children and he agrees that those children should stay home!!!!!! Our venue is not that big and I don't want kids everywhere. This is an adult affair. We are serving beer and wine and kids do not need to be around. I am planning to have space set aside for the kids that are in the wedding and I also I have a special menu planned for them. I was looking through my wedding planner and it suggested that when you do the wedding invites: Address the envelopes to Mr and Mrs and not the Jones Family, this way they will know that the entire family is not invited.

cincy2011 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kids-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:9ec0dced-cfc9-424d-9d83-5a146683e98cPost:4be6e2ff-4a5f-4c67-9394-8d2ef69d08f5">Re: Kids + Receptions =???</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE AND DID I MENTION NOPE</strong> I don't want children there to run around and have their parents watching them vs. enjoying our wedding as adults. FI wanted them but I fought him on this b/c there was no way in HELL it was happening. I feel VERY strongly about this and will not budge. If you invite one set you have to invite them ALL and there are just way too many children in our family to consider this. The only children will be from the bridal party 6, 8, and 10
Posted by A&M_Abyss[/QUOTE]

Exactly! FI agreed initially, so I didn't have to convince him. But we are only having his niece (2) and nephew (5) at the wedding. They are the flower girl and ring bearer. Other than that, no kids allowed....

krimson19 · December 2010

we ended up with about 10 kids and 5 teenagers under 15 at our wedding/reception. for us it wasn't a problem. our wedding wasn't a formal one so kids were fine. and everyone behaved themselves and parents kept everyone in check. like 7evenAfricano stated our was more of a celebration and we didn't mind the kids.

NeColeMonet · December 2010

For my wedding, I hired a group of babysitters called "Munchkin Minders" and they watched all the kids. We had a separate room just for the kids. They had a projecter screen, with movis, games, toys, a ball pit ...EVERYTHING that they brought to the venue. The guests dropped the kids off before the ceremony and picked them up after the reception. They were fed and everything worked out great.

sharonda1981 · December 2010

Wow this is interesting, I have never been to a wedding that specified no kids. And I have been to several. That would offend me and I wouldn't even want to go. Especally if it was one of my family members. Weddings are for family and friends. and how can you discriminate when there are children in your wedding party. My personal opinion is my daughter is 5 and his boys are 8 and 11 so why not have other kids there for them to play with? Then I'm not sending them off because that couple of hours is not just for you and your FI but for you and your FIs immediate family to mingle together. His kids with my kids etc. It's a family thing, not an Adult party.
Anyway just my opinion. As far as you and your disagreement, you might have to give in on that one. You don't want him to feel like he doesn't have any say so on you alls big day. If I told my FI no kids I might as well be saying no wedding.

aprilmelissa1979 · December 2010

No kids!! Not even in the wedding party. I LOVE kids, however its about price, I'm not paying for a kid to come sit and eat chicken fingers for $20! Also, I don't want a large guest list.

If a parent is offended because their child can not come, they can decline the invitation. It will not hurt my feelings. But, don't be offended if you are a parent--be understanding. Weddings are expensive and you have to pay for each person there, including children.

We are having 2 receptions. My FI wanted to make exceptions for people he knew. I told him "NO" NO EXCEPTIONS. Plus when he found out how much it would be to include them, he quickly changed his mind.

Kids + Receptions =???

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