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What would YOU do -- please read & give your opinion.

Niks A one dayNiks A one day
10 Comments
in Wedding Party
So the problem is, I'll either have too many or none at all. A little quick history--we were originally getting married on Halloween of last year. Picked the wedding party, printed invites, booked a venue, etc... I turned up pregnant and got so sick that I couldn't keep up so we postponed the wedding until further notice, We are now ready to resume plans and have chosen August 13th for our date, although we haven't told anyone this.

The problem--the girls I originally chose for my MOH and BMs (4 total)  I don't really hang out with anymore, but all have made it clear they are ready to pick up where we left off in terms of "their role."  The ones I would choose now (6 total, but not having a designated MOH) have made it clear that they are expecting to be BMs,
Needless to say, 10 is too many, considering we plan on having 125 guests MAX.

So here are the options we have come up with. Help me decide!!!

1: Have NONE of them, then no one is pissed because they didn't get chosen and someone else did. Only thing is, FH really wants his guy friends in it, so no BMs would eliminate the GM. ANd if we didnt have either of those, I would just walk myself down the aisle.  Or....

2: Have them all, yes all 10 of them. I know it's too many for a wedding my size, but this is what I'm thinking. FH has 5 GM in mind. Each guy could walk one girl on each arm, that way its and even number, or they could go in pairs as normal, but altenate boy/girl and girl/girl.  And to keep form having a cluttered altar, Once they all got to the front, they could take a seat in the first row alongside the parents. This way they all get to be part of the wedding like they want, but no one is left standing except for me, FH and my 2 kids (the flower girl and ringbearer.)

I know neither of those options are traditional, but we arent really doing anything traditional. As I said, we're having a Friday 13th wedding, I'm wearing a black & red dress, he's wearing black & red suit with red converse, and everything is punk/rock & roll themed. So with all that in mind, no one will care that we're breaking tradition. lol
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Re: What would YOU do -- please read & give your opinion.

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    #2 is my vote. If you want to stay friendly with them, I would not boot them from the wedding.
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  • blackfire5thblackfire5th
    1000 Comments
    First off, both of those options would fall under traditional roles, so if you are slightly concerned about that, don't be.

    Another option would be to keep your wedding party just the way it is.

    I would pick option 2.  We had a couple groomsmen that walked with a bm on each arm and they were both very happy about that.  :P

    I think it works great to have the WP sit in the front row.  This is what is done during Catholic Ceremonies and you are right that it would keep the front from being packed.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I would just go with all ten too.  
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  • Niks A one dayNiks A one day
    10 Comments
    I'm surprised at my replies! I actually thought I would be told that having them all was dumb. :)

    Oh and for the person who referred to the second group as my "new friends" , well actually they're my old, long time friends. But due to just life issues and what not, we werent as close as we are now. It's funny how being pregnant changes everything around you. The original wedding party is all women with no kids, which is why we don't hang out as much as we did at the time of the original wedding planning-apparently me being pregnant interfered with their partying plans every weekend, lol. But whereas my long time friends, aka new wedding party, are all old friends with 4 out of 6 having kids, dont mind hanging out doing "nothing"
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    Nothing like having kids to change your whole social life  :  )  You're a lucky lady to have so many supportive people in your life.  I say include everyone if you can afford it (by that I only mean wedding party gifts and transportation).  If you have a wedding party of that size, though, I'd really plan to be super-flexible on things like shoes, hair and makeup.  Congrats on the wee one and have fun planning.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    My vote is for having all 10 of them.  Booting your previously asked BMs would be rude, even if it was to have no WP at all.

    Also, instead of alternating BM/GM, then BM/BM, you could also send down the GMs with a BM on each arm.  Just a thought.
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  • Tertia33Tertia33 member
    First Comment
    Definitely #2! You can have as many bridesmaids as you want! Have to ask how in less than a years time you aren't as cool with people you put in your wedding though. ????  If they aren't that cool with you now, trust me (getting married in October) they will cancel themselves out during the process. 
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  • wcvsb3b5wcvsb3b5
    500 Comments
    Have all of them! Unless, of course, you can't afford that...then I would say have the four you chose to begin with.
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  • xoxobxoxob member
    1000 Comments
    As with the PPs....the more, the merrier!
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  • Niks A one dayNiks A one day
    10 Comments
    edited April 2010
    [QUOTE]Have to ask how in less than a years time you aren't as cool with people you put in your wedding though. ???? [/QUOTE]

    LOL, I answered that in a post a few above yours. But to sum it up, pregnancy changes everything. They are kidless and when not at work, spend all their time hanging out, going to concerts, bars, etc. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage who go to their father's every oter weekend, so FH and I were able to join them at times. But after becoming pregnant, that didnt hapen as much and so they moved on to people who were more flexible to their party schedules. :)
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  • Niks A one dayNiks A one day
    10 Comments
    [QUOTE]If you have a wedding party of that size, though, I'd really plan to be super-flexible on things like shoes, hair and makeup.[/QUOTE]

    Oh yes, definitely. I'm all for individuality, and my "dress code" was going to be a black dress of their choice. They could have it long, short, halter, strapless, whatever-just as long as it was solid black. (Some sequins or a simple design was fine though) and black shoes. Heels, flats, stripper stilettos, I don't care. Just black dress, black shoes. I don't care how they do their hair or makeup, I just want them to feel comfortable and be able to wear whatever items they purchase again, that way their money goes to good use.
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    Cool!  Party on then!  Sounds great.
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