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Wedding Etiquette Forum

What is with Save the Dates?!!

Ok this is just a vent but we have had several people make the same comment: We didnt receive a Save the Date from you so assume we are not invited!

I thought that an INVITATION was how you were invited. We didnt send out Save the Dates to anyone but our family as they all live several hours away. All of our social group live in the same area and we are sending out the invitation with enough notice.

I also get the comment of: Well you dont talk about your wedding to me so I assume I am not invited! I just dont think that anyone is really interested in my actual wedding planning besides my family and wedding party so I dont tend to try to bore people with  those details.

I didnt think that Save the Dates were mandatory (although nice) in addition to an invitation to indicate that you were invited. I also was taught that asking the couple if you ARE invited or making those comments are just plain rude!!

My wedding is not until the fall so I am not sure why people seem to be in a panic!

Re: What is with Save the Dates?!!

  • I don't know Seinfeld what IS with save the dates?!!?!?

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  • ellen82ellen82 member
    10 Comments
    I am just more wondering if Save the Dates really are that necessary...it was just more of a vent :) Wasnt sure if people had the same experience!
  • Hahaha I wouldnt worry too much. They arent necessary.. and all those peopl are definitely being rude!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Save the Dates are just proper ettiquete for OOT weddings. If yours is locally then I wouldn't see why you would need to send them. I do get STD nowadays though I do notice a lot more than I used to. I think it's just becomming a popular trend and people are starting to expect them.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We are doing postcard STDS (from FL, beach theme on it) because over half of our guests are OOT but we did include in the budget to send to the locals as well so they knew to block out that day if they are able to. Invites go out around Christmas which is why we wanted to give that advance notice
    Nichole Tampa, FL BabyFetus Ticker
  • Rosie, what was IN your breakfast this morning? ;)
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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-37?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5dc6bc8e-a81f-41b9-a9e2-15d3cfce8659Post:35756837-bf0f-407e-81b7-4109a80af0c2">Re: What is with Save the Dates?!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know Seinfeld what IS with save the dates?!!?!?
    Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

    Man I was totally going to come barging into this thread and ask what's the deal with those little bags of airplane peanuts.

    But you beat me.
    imageimage
    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
    Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-37?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5dc6bc8e-a81f-41b9-a9e2-15d3cfce8659Post:e73aca22-6b3d-4728-ae35-c203ad6891c3">Re: What is with Save the Dates?!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Rosie, what was IN your breakfast this morning? ;)
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    I am seriously bouncing off of the walls I don't know whyyy
    image
  • Rosie, you have to stop.  You're killing me, but if I keep telling you how funny you are, I'm going to take on that "creepy internet girl" vibe that I'd like to avoid. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-37?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5dc6bc8e-a81f-41b9-a9e2-15d3cfce8659Post:0bb404f7-a0eb-45ca-bb2c-aedac02bec0f">Re: What is with Save the Dates?!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is with Save the Dates?!! : Man I was totally going to come barging into this thread and ask what's the deal with those little bags of airplane peanuts. But you beat me.
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]
    It's the airline pretzels that get me riled up.
    image
  • I am just glad you guys got my joke. I always make seinfeld jokes and feel so lonely when no one laughs :(
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Rosie's happy because of her beautiful beautiful gown with its gorgeous fish tail.



    OP -- STDs are a new-ish thing.  They are useful if you are planning a wedding where a significant number of guests will have to travel to attend or if the wedding is scheduled for a holiday weekend.  If neither of those applies to you, you most certainly do not need to do STDs.  In fact, I would discourage most brides from sending STDs because we certainly hear stories that point out the negative aspects of STDs, for example couples who send STDs to guests they later do not want to invite, changed wedding dates or locations, etc.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-37?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5dc6bc8e-a81f-41b9-a9e2-15d3cfce8659Post:5fee30bf-21cf-41ed-908e-19a7ddab5c36">Re: What is with Save the Dates?!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am just glad you guys got my joke. I always make seinfeld jokes and feel so lonely when no one laughs :(
    Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

    One time he did this thing where he acted out how socks get separated from each other in the wash, and escape. I think that was my favorite Seinfeld bit.
    imageimage
    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
    Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
  • ellen82ellen82 member
    10 Comments
    Yes, that is what I thought too! Its only May people!! I dont really see why they need an invite NOW.

    I also know a girl who DID send out Save the Dates like over a year early for a local wedding and she is now regretting because her guest list has changed in a year..

    It was more just a vent :P
  • mizjodimizjodi member
    1000 Comments
    Venting is good!

    I for one find STDs a completely useless waste of money; all the important people knew right away, more than a year out, when the wedding date was set. We contacted them individually to be sure they had the important information.

    I see too many people think they're now required, and part of the whole billion-dollar wedding industry.

    BUCK THE INDUSTRY! :)

    Stepping off my soapbox now. Lavender soapbox :) smells good
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  • In the past month we've received two STDs for birthday parties for children.  I think STDs are getting out of control.
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