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Receiving Line Advice

LilyWater09LilyWater09 member
100 Comments
in Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
The Knot says that a receiving line is proper if you have over 50 guests.  My wedding will be about triple that so I guess we will be having one.  But here is my concern.  It says that the Bride, Groom ,and both sets of parents should be in the line (bridesmaids/groomsmens optional - which I would skip).  My parents would be able to stand there for the duration, however both his parents are disabled and could not endure such a task (that includes sitting in a chair for the duration as well).  

So my question is what to do?  Exclude his parents or just not have one?  And is it bad etiquette either way?  I mean I guess we could just stand there the two of us, but would that be right either? 

Thanks is advance for your advice girlsSmile
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Re: Receiving Line Advice

  • sarilynnepsarilynnep
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Just because it's a tradition doesn't mean you have to do one. I went to a wedding of 400 the other week and they didn't have one. My stepsister didn't have one either. Actually I haven't seen one done in a while. I really don't think anyone will be offended if you don't have a receiving line. I don't think it's bad equitte at all. Actually, I hate going through the receiving line as a guest. It takes forever and I feel obligated to go through one when I would rather just go the reception right away.

    If you do have one, why do the parents need to be a part of the receiving line? Your guests are there to see you and your FI. If guests want to see parents, they will talk to them at the reception. I definitely would not expect his parents to be a part of the receiving line.

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  • gmc22gmc22 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We invited 370 to my wedding (hoping for >300) and we are not having a recieving line. As sari pointed out, I haven't seen them too often anymore. I'm not doing one because I feel they are old-fashioned and, well, I just don't want one. So I guess I'm saying don't feel like you HAVE to do it just because TK says so...

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  • HoneySpiderHoneySpider
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We didn't do a receiving line, I find them time-consuming and a little awkward.
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  • carcrashheartcarcrashheart member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_receiving-line-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:116Discussion:88980e94-a204-4706-9a70-a51c77aafc45Post:59990f9e-88ed-48ad-8c51-dfe905ea4981">Re: Receiving Line Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]We didn't do a receiving line, I find them time-consuming and a little awkward.
    Posted by HoneySpider[/QUOTE]

    This. We didn't have one either. They're ackward for the BP and for the people going through the line. I attended a wedding with DH years ago but didn't know the bride or the groom. It was very ackward for all of us when I got shoved in to the receiving line.
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  • jenice95jenice95 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our church does not allow us to have one, so we will not be having one. Instead, I hope to go around to tables at the reception and greet guests.

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  • LisaS1010LisaS1010 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We weren't allowed to have one either, so we just went to the tables at the reception. 

    Etiquette has changed a lot over the last few decades - you don't have to follow everything!
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  • MRadsMRads member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I hate receiving lines so much, especially when Im in the wedding party...I don't know that many people, nor do I care to meet a lot of the wedding guests.  What we are planning on doing (and what most of my friends have done) is we have a note in the program that the bride and groom will release your row, so the bride and groom see everybody, but the rest of the wedding party doesn't have to.  Or you don't have to have one at all.  Whatever you and your fi feel most comfortable with.
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  • KimWardKimWard
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had one, and thought it went smoothly. Then again, I only had 80 some guests and our BP did not stand in the line. I thought it was a nice to see everyone right after the ceremony, as opposed to waiting until the reception. Also, I had a few guests come to the ceremony and not the reception.
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  • Beth0413Beth0413
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're inviting 200 guests & we are not having one. I think they are akward, personally. I have been to numerous weddings over the last few years & not one has had one. It's not something you have to have, do whatever is best for you both!
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  • punk-Nesspunk-Ness
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I'm not anti-receiving lines and wanted to have one based on a couple things. We went to DH brothers wedding the year before and watched as they walked around to every.single.table during the reception. The dance floor was empty almost the entire night as they did this. It seemed if they weren't dancing, nobody else was either.
    Also, our church was 5-10 minutes from the venue. We wanted a little bit of time suck since the guests couldn't arrive at the venue until 5. Our ceremony was 30 minutes, the receiving line took 10-15 minutes with 125 guests. We didn't include the BP, but our parents were there.
    If you're interested in having one, maybe you should ask FILs how they feel about it. If they're not comfortable with it, I would ditch the idea. I personallly wouldn't exclude them as that may hurt their feelings.

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  • MrsDydekMrsDydek member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The Knot provides great guidelines, it is not however the end all be all of weddings. Go with what you want, not what it says you should have. It is after all YOUR wedding. Etiquette is in a sense very flexible. It changes from place to place, culture to culture. For example in my family some people think is rediculas that I would pay for a caterer at all let alone a sit down dinner. In other cultures (which i agree more with) It is considered rude to even think about having some sort of pot luck wedding reception. But there are brides who have done it, and their guests did not think them rude.

    Ask a few family members and your BP what they think about it if your worried about being rude. As for the parents: If they simply can't do the recieving line, then just have your parents. But of course, make sure that either parents want to do it before excluding of including either. But I would guess that no one will care if you don't have it. 

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  • LilyWater09LilyWater09 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone for the advice!  Really helpful.  I will talk it over with everyone. 
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  • chelli77chelli77
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Instead of a receiving line, I think FI and I are going to "release" our guests.  That way we are sure to able to thank averyone & don't risk missing someone at the reception.
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