Dollar Dance

jsarver14 · September 2012

Alright ladies...I need advice. I've had a few friends ask me the past few days if we will be having a dollar dance at our wedding. FI and I honestly haven't thought about it, as I feel it's somewhat money grabby. My question is: is the dollar dance etiquette approved or should we just skip it?

Viczaesar · September 2012

Definitely not etiquette approved. Skip it.

crash2729 · September 2012

I would skip it.

jsarver14 · September 2012

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad my original thought was correct

RebeccaB88 · September 2012

Your instincts are right on target. Skip it.

Avion22 · September 2012

In some cultures the Dollar Dance is practically expected. If both you and your fiance (and the vast majority of your guests) come from such a culture, then you can probably get away with doing the dollar dance without offending people. If this isn't the case, then you should definitely skip it.

Cortney1982 · September 2012

I went to a wedding last month and they had a dollar dance. So awkward. If it wasn't enough that people already gave them gifts (they put their registry info with the invites) and cash they were asking for more!

I don't know if usually just a bride does this, but they turned it into a competition so that BOTH the bride and groom were dancing for money and whoever got the most got to keep all of it. My husband thought it was a great idea because they made over $400 in about 3 minutes. Yes they tallied it up in front of everyone. On another note, I am still waiting for my thank you card for the gifts we gave them.

sierraberry32 · September 2012

We are doing a dollar dance, but we are calling it "The Honeymoon Dance". Every wedding I have been to, has had a dollar dance, so people literally come to our family weddings with small bills. It's fun, and the great part is, you can thank each and every guest, personally!

JessAndTrav · September 2012

While it's acceptable in places, it's still not etiquette-approved. Also, OP, if you're not comfortable doing it, then don't consider it.

Dollar dances are really common where I live...my BIL & his wife had one, but we did not, because I wasn't comfortable having one.

freebread03 · September 2012

Because asking your guests to help pay for your honeymoon makes it that much better right? I get that people see a dollar dance as tradition, but it really goes against etiquette, and collecting money from your guests for your honeymoon comes off as greedy IMO.

JessAndTrav · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8130302d-76f2-4fa7-9188-62498ce08422Post:fe736445-b34f-4e64-ab40-d51db1ea98da">Re:Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]Because asking your guests to help pay for your honeymoon makes it that much better right? I get that people see a dollar dance as tradition, but it really goes against etiquette, and collecting money from your guests for your honeymoon comes off as greedy IMO.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If this is in response to the poster above my post, ITA, and I have to say that I find it ironic that she's having a "honeymoon dance" but made a separate post about being shocked that people would have a "mini-moon jar"</div><div>
</div>

jessicabessica · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8130302d-76f2-4fa7-9188-62498ce08422Post:c6f59ef3-2846-46ba-bd18-c30b0220044a">Re:Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Dollar Dance : If this is in response to the poster above my post, ITA, and I have to say that I find it ironic that she's having a "honeymoon dance" but made a separate post about being shocked that people would have a "mini-moon jar"
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I thought it was the same poster. Weird.</div>

Summer2011Bride · September 2012

Skip the dollar dance.

And yes, sierra, super weird that you would be OK with a dance gathering money for your HM but are against a jar doing the same thing. Neither are OK, by the way. Just skip it.

rachelm13 · September 2012

Sorry for being naive, but what's a dollar dance? Never heard of it in my area, never seen one in my life... (it sounds like the bride and groom dance in a circle and people throw money like they are at a strip club) if my thought is correct: GA-ROSS.

laurenberdan · September 2012

I agree, skip it!

I've only been to a couple of weddings where they did this, and it was both the bride and groom dancing for money. I thought it was fun since we were good friends with the bride & groom, but I am not doing it at my wedding. I've had a few people ask me, and it just seems too tacky for me. Also tacky is the honeymoon jar!

Most people are bringing you money to the wedding anyway (over gifts), plus they probably bought you an engagement or shower gift, so why ask for more? And if most guests are like me, I never carry cash!

prlove · September 2012

We are having our wedding in Puerto Rico, where most of my family is, and the dollar dance there is traditional. Fiance and I havent' decided if we will do it yet being that it is a destination wedding for those family and friends coming from over here. But yes, in some cultures it is tradition and expected. I think it is tacky to tally it up in front of everyone though. However, OP, do what you feel most comfortable with.

wrigleyville · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8130302d-76f2-4fa7-9188-62498ce08422Post:18ff2a77-08b6-419b-aa06-e714c8711440">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry for being naive, but what's a dollar dance? Never heard of it in my area, never seen one in my life... (it sounds like the bride and groom dance in a circle and people throw money like they are at a strip club) if my thought is correct: GA-ROSS.
Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

It comes from old, Eastern European traditions (which is why it's popular in the Midwest) where the guests would pin money to the bride so the couple could start their new life together. It has since evolved into the most boring part of the reception, where the couple plays about 20-30 minutes worth of slow songs and guests line up to give them $1 or more to dance with them. It puts a serious crimp in the party, and I think it's stupid since most people have already given money and/or a gift.

This is coming from someone from a Polish family, where the dance is traditional and done at every wedding. My brother skipped it, and I'm skipping it. It just feels squicky, and I hate that it interrupts the party atmosphere. Nobody else dances while the dollar dance is going on, so if you aren't in line, you just sit around waiting for it to end.

PhoneCardLady · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8130302d-76f2-4fa7-9188-62498ce08422Post:be5ba5b4-99b8-4092-b075-256d407bd9ff">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In some cultures the Dollar Dance is practically expected. If both you and your fiance (and the vast majority of your guests) come from such a culture, then you can probably get away with doing the dollar dance without offending people. If this isn't the case, then you should definitely skip it.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

I believe it is more of a Polish and Italian thing.

noahark1 · September 2012

My Eastern European family does this at every wedding. I have always found it tacky and boring hence skipped it at my first wedding in 1985 and skipping it again. And to add insult to injury, it is usually towards the end of the dollar dance that one of the uncles "steals" the bride and she doesn't return until a ransom is paid. (Typically they take her to a bar to await the ransom phone call) Unfortunately these traditions go back amongst family and friends to at least 1961 as they did that for my mother, all my aunts and cousins and vast majority of my friends.. (and they said I was a snob for vetoing tradition)

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