FI and I are buying a house in less than two weeks (yay!), merging households w my daughter in two weeks (yay but a bit nervous!) getting married in oct w a huge wedding (yay!) and dealing with a custody battle w Ex-H (boo!) needless to say there is a lot of stress, adjustment, ect. So we have been fighting over stupid things recently, it seems every day. The fights are fair, resolved, etc- as good as fights can be. But it's hard for me.
Ex-H and I never fought bc I never said anything about my needs, because if I did he would go into passive aggressive punnishment mode. So I know the fact that FI and I can fight (in a healthy way) is actually a good thing- but I am not used to it AT ALL and it scares me. So it's hard for me to deal with, I think harder than it is for a "normal" person to deal with.
We've agreed to push back the plan to go off birth control this month because of all the stress and adjustments. But that makes me sad, even though I know it is the logical thing- I just feel old (he is 27, I am 34). I know it is the right thing, but I feel old. I know it is the right thing, but it had been our plan and the reason we moved the wedding up from 2012, so choosing to push it back because we are fighting and need to adjust feels like an epic fail.
I keep telling myself it is the right decision, but I feel a bit down and conflicted about it. I don't have any doubts about FI being the forever one for me and my daughter, so I am sad about the delay even though I know it is right. I guess I have to remember that there are no fairy tales, and if you put enough pressure on a relationship that even is a perfect fit, it can break. We don't need any more pressure right now.
I just had to put that out there to others who might understand. If you never fought because you had a terribly controlling Ex-H, how do you get used to the idea that fighting can be ok?