When to ask my bridesmaids?

paigejohn28 · March 2013

I am getting married in June of 2014, and I already know in my head some of the girls that I want to be in my wedding (my fiance's sister, my niece, my best friend) but I don't know when to ask them. I think I know how I want to ask them, but I just don't know when. I know that they are probably assuming that they will be in the wedding, so I don't want to wait so long that they are beginning to wonder if I am going to ask or not... Also, there are some other girls that I think I would like to have by my side, but I know that a lot can happen in 16 months, so I am ok with waiting to ask them. What do you guys think about the others? Should I go ahead and ask or should I wait and ask everyone at once?

Chloeagh · March 2013

It is generally recommended that you ask no sooner than 9 months before the wedding. If you read all the drama on the Wedding Party and Mom and Maids boards, you will see why. Even if you think nothing will change, it can. I think this is a very good recommendation.

On the other hand, FI and I have already asked out WP. FI asked him best friends since junior high. They don't know what drama is. The three of them are so chill (for example, the bachelor party will probably be them drinking beer and playing board games). My WP is my (ex) stepsisters. Not even the divorce of my dad and their mom got in the way of our relationship, so I felt confident about my decision. They were going to be in my WP before I even had a guy to marry, so I didn't even really ask them.

Hotshot5764 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2014-weddings_when-to-ask-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd3555f8-fb3d-4290-b1fe-9de3e9d420b1Discussion:d09f9e93-9ba7-4f66-81d8-1e51e379e3cePost:f66ab87c-3749-4e88-8fc7-e45eedd8dd5e">When to ask my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in June of 2014, and I already know in my head some of the girls that I want to be in my wedding (my fiance's sister, my niece, my best friend) but I don't know when to ask them. I think I know how I want to ask them, but I just don't know when. I know that they are probably assuming that they will be in the wedding, so I don't want to wait so long that they are beginning to wonder if I am going to ask or not... Also, there are some other girls that I think I would like to have by my side, but I know that a lot can happen in 16 months, so I am ok with waiting to ask them. What do you guys think about the others? Should I go ahead and ask or should I wait and ask everyone at once?
Posted by paigejohn28[/QUOTE]

I asked my Maid of Honor in January. I will be asking my other two bridesmaids this month. As long as your 100% sure, I dont see why you can't ask whenever you want!

LivingInPink18 · March 2013

I've already asked my 4 girls (maybe I jumped the gun a bit!). All of them live "out of town" and I wanted to do it in person so I used the holiday meet ups to my advantage:) I think whenever you feel like you want to start talking wedding things with them, you can ask them to be in the wedding. Good luck!

virgogal1979 · March 2013

I asked my girls already, and they all said yes, but I am not sure about 2 as they live far away. I plan to have 4 BM's, my 2 older daughters giving me away, his daughter I am not sure about yet, and our baby walking down the aisle being a mini me. I plan to ask them in a more formal way with some type of momento they can keep, but I did ask..

r&c14 · March 2013

I asked my 3 b-maids last year in April because I was oober excited and I knew right then who I wanted to up there with me. Now one has become distant(not wedding planning related) so I'm iffy on if she is even going to partake. I hope she will, but I won't hold it against her if she decides not to. I would wait until you absolutely know, but give them at least 9 months so they have time to make arrangements for travel and save money for their dresses and such.

Sparkle2014 · April 2013

I already asked all my girls. I waited about 2 months after we got engaged (12/1). I asked my sister first (my MOH), and then about a month later, asked the rest of the girls. My whole party is family or soon to be (will be sister-in-laws). Also, I have 2 friends who have been my friends for so long, I consider them family.
I think whenever you think is right, is the best time.

You'll know when it feels right. I would give the girls that have to make more of a financial committment (maybe your MOH or a girl that could have a harder time paying) more notice, and also out of towners. Also, those who are or who are trying to become pregnant. I know when we asked our girls, we got several "thank yous" for people in ALL those catergories, just allowing them extra time to plan.

Hope this helps.

When to ask my bridesmaids?

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