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Telling the kids "No."

BingaBinga
First Comment
in Wedding Party

When it comes to flower girls and ring bearers, how do you tell a little kid that the aren't in the wedding?
Let me clarify:  I have 2 nieces who I am VERY close to, so they are going to be my flower girls, and our 11mo. old son will be the ring bearer.  My fiance has 3 nieces (and 3 nephews)  His 21 yr old niece is one of my bridesmaids, but his 9 year old one (and her mother) has asked multiple times if she is in the wedding.  How can I tell them that she isn't without seeming mean?  I decided long ago that ONLY my nieces would be there because I can't choose his 9 yr old niece w/out having the 11 yr old feel bad, plus the 2 younger nephews!  It's all or none with that family.  (Plus the 9 year old is a rude little girl!)
HELP!  I don't want to be a mean Bridezilla or cause issues, but I know I can't deal with her (and her pushy mother) through this process.  :(

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Re: Telling the kids "No."

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Say, "We have already selected our wedding party, but we look forward to having you as guests. Have you tried this bean dip?  It's delicious!" 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ditto the others.  Have your brother say what Addie said!

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  • BingaBinga
    First Comment
    Thanks for the responses!  I'll have my FI explain nicely, and if the push the issue (which I'm sure his sis-in-law will) I'll make sure we stay firm.  We tend to be too nice and have a hard time saying "No."  Thanks again ladies!
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  • jleon12lsujleon12lsu member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I feel you on this one!  My FI has a friend who is in the WP and has a 4 year old daughter.  One of the other friends in the group had the nerve to blurt out "Oh how fun!  You can be the flower girl!" to the little girl and she got all excited.  I have a 7 year old goddaughter that I had already asked to be the flower girl and had to come up on the spot with some way to let the little girl down gently.  It was TERRIBLE!  
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