Mention Mass in invitation?

waitingformay · January 2011

For those of you who had or are having a full mass, did you word your invitation to indicate it was a full mass? I'm leaning towards not doing that - just putting the time and indicating it's a Catholic church.

Thanks!

Calypso1977 · January 2011

if you are having the Nuptial Mass it should be mentioned.

we did:

JLP and PAM request the honor of your presence at their marriage in the sacrament of holy matrimony and the celebration of the nuptial mass

ring_pop · January 2011

Technically you should... we did not. About 80% of our guests were Catholic and we figured that it would be assumed.

SaraAndrew2010 · January 2011

Our invitations just listed that it was a Catholic church. Most of our guests are Catholic and I think most people were smart enough to figure out that it would likely be a mass. We also mentioned on our wedding website that it was a nuptial mass.

Calypso1977 · January 2011

i really dont think folks can assume a mass. ive been to several catholic weddings as of late that all used the deacon and therefore had no mass. a couple of these both parties were catholic so i was actually surprised there wasnt a mass. but tehse days, in the era of "quick ceremony get to the reception" its really a crapshoot as to whether someone will have mass or not.

catarntina · January 2011

This might sound horrible, but I did not have it on my invitations either. I had a lot of folks tell me that they would not come to the ceremony if it was a full Mass. So, I didn't put it on there and surprised them... However, I did have listed that it was a Catholic church. It kind of upset that my Catholic relatives were telling me not have a full Mass because they didn't want it to take an hour? Whatever...

Anyways, Bree... Full mass is communion. The ceremony outside of Mass is pretty much the same thing, just skips the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

If you have your ceremony inside of Mass, you get to receive two sacraments in one day. And you receive the Eucharist for the 1st time as husband and wife, because Liturgy of Eucharist follows Rite of Marriage usually.

ootmother2 · January 2011

No. The invitation stated the church where the wedding would be held and it was obviously a Catholic Church. The vast majority of the guests were also Catholic so it never occured to me to mention that it would be a Nuptial Mass.

Also, I've never seen it stated on any other invitation.

ETA: The bride's uncle, a deacon of the church performed the marriage although the pastor of the church said the mass, assisted by two other priests who were family friends

waitingformay · January 2011

Thanks for the advice. This is super helpful.

I don't see why people get so upset about sitting through a full mass. It's an hour of your life followed by six hours of eating, drinking and dancing. Not a big deal.

Riss91 · January 2011

We didn't put it on the invitation, either. But 90% of our guests knew we were having a ceremony in Latin and I'm sure they assumed it would include mass. We also had information on our website, which was listed on our STDs and invitations. As a guest, if it is a Catholic wedding, I personally assume it would include mass, just to be safe. It's a nice thing to mention, if you'd like, but I don't think it's mandatory. People have elaborate ceremonies in other cultures/religions without specifying the length or details of it, and their guests do just fine!

agapecarrie · January 2011

The only reason people would need to know is to make sure to fast before receiving communion. Seeing that the beginning of the wedding is usually a bit longer than normal, and add in the vows, its really not an issue even if they ate just before driving to the church.

Riss91 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mention-mass-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:cfe81fce-83d4-4971-9e20-85990dc81776Post:4704969b-97da-4da8-97a9-23fd4342a3b8">Re: Mention Mass in invitation?</a>:
[QUOTE]The only reason people would need to know is to make sure to fast before receiving communion. Seeing that the beginning of the wedding is usually a bit longer than normal, and add in the vows, its really not an issue even if they ate just before driving to the church.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

Exactly! At minimum, most people will have at least 15-20 minute drive to the church, plus the processionals, plus the vows ...

Calypso1977 · January 2011

good point, agape.

in the old days, one had to fast 3 hours before communion. now its only an hour.

ootmother2 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mention-mass-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:cfe81fce-83d4-4971-9e20-85990dc81776Post:d6eec054-6b0c-4ea8-bdad-9537160f29fd">Re: Mention Mass in invitation?</a>:
[QUOTE]i really dont think folks can assume a mass. ive been to several catholic weddings as of late that all used the deacon and therefore had no mass. a couple of these both parties were catholic so i was actually surprised there wasnt a mass. but tehse days, in the era of "quick ceremony get to the reception" its really a crapshoot as to whether someone will have mass or not.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Could you possibly find a more polite way of saying this? It really sounds kind of snotty as is

tia

agapecarrie · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mention-mass-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:cfe81fce-83d4-4971-9e20-85990dc81776Post:32cfc756-429d-4345-97dc-7f6ac8f543b9">Re: Mention Mass in invitation?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mention Mass in invitation? : Could you possibly find a more polite way of saying this? It really sounds kind of snotty as is tia
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

Its actually dead on accurate. I don't know how many times we've had a catholic couple want to cut off the wedding mass for the purpose of timing for their party.

I don't think it sounded snotty at all.

It's a big deal, and a real problem. People cutting off the most important prayer of the whole church when the veil between heaven and earth and time and space is lifted and we are transported back to the crucifixion and resurrection, and receive divinity...infinite graces, offered for the marriage. And people want to eliminate it for timing for a party.

Calypso1977 · January 2011

that, and they dont want to "offend" their guests by having Mass.

ootmother2 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mention-mass-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:cfe81fce-83d4-4971-9e20-85990dc81776Post:d6eec054-6b0c-4ea8-bdad-9537160f29fd">Re: Mention Mass in invitation?</a>:
[QUOTE]i really dont think folks can assume a mass. ive been to several catholic weddings as of late that all used the deacon and therefore had no mass. a couple of these both parties were catholic so i was actually surprised there wasnt a mass. but tehse days, in the era of "quick ceremony get to the reception" its really a crapshoot as to whether someone will have mass or not.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

THIS is the part that sound rude and presumptous.

Try checking some of your other posts where other knotties are asking you not to be so rude. I've seen a coupld today already

Riss91 · January 2011

oot, I'm not seeing where she was rude and presumptuos. She said she's been surprised that many Catholic weddings no longer include mass and that the general consensus of wedding ceremonies these days is that the ceremony is just a prelude to the reception. And people are forgoing having a mass (which sacrifices the many benefits agape mentioned) in order to have a specific schedule for the day. The importance of the ceremony is diminished by the need to center the day around the reception, pictures, guests' wishes, etc....

I'm usually one to be upset when someone isn't polite (and especially if they are rude), but I'm just not seeing that in this post.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

Yes, we mentioned nuptial mass on ours.

ootmother2 · January 2011

Riss, it's not WHAT she says, it's how she says it.

check posts

ETA: see my reply above, I wasn't preaching that we had a deacon and three priests. It just happened that the deacon was M's uncle. She & her H wanted a Catholic wedding, which, in their opinion involved a full mass.

clearheavens · January 2011

We're mentioning Nuptial Mass in our invitation because we feel that it's important to indicate that there will be two sacraments being celebrated at my wedding: Communion and Matrimony. Only half a dozen guests out of 325 are non-Catholic.

This is what we decided:

Mr. & Mrs. [bride's parents]

&

Mr. & Mrs. [groom's parents]

request the honor of your presence

at the Nuptial Mass uniting their children

[bride]

&

[groom]

in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

[date & time]

[church]

Alternatively, this was another option:

Together with their families
[bride]
&
[groom]
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
and the celebration of the Nuptial Mass
[date & time]
[church]

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