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May 2013 Weddings
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about the bridal shower...

MamaBear904MamaBear904 member
500 Comments
in May 2013 Weddings
Its interesting that this topic came up because my MOH just so happend to bring it up Friday and we've hammered out most of the details.. location, guests, theme, etc. However, there is one thing that is bothering me...

My MOH is not really in a financial position to host and pay for everything. I have already told her that I want to pay for invites, favors and/or prizes and decorations. And though the details have been pretty much figured out, she is expecting everyone to pay for their own meals and drinks. Is this common? I've only been to 1 bridal shower before and it was at someone's house. MOH wants to have the shower at a restaurant and Im worried that guests will assume that its all paid for. 

I think I may have to pay for it. What are your thoughts?


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Re: about the bridal shower...

  • LB&SFLB&SF member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    I believe etiquette wise, you should not pay for anything shower wise.  Your MOH should not have guests pay for their own meal.  You are right, your guests will assume it is all covered moneywise.
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  • vchan4vchan4
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Glad someone brought this up my MOH said in passing she wants to throw a shower for me and I don't want to burden her financially either. I feel like my options are either to not have one which seems rude since she does want to throw one for me or get someone to help her which I shouldn't do either. Curious to see what others have to say.
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    If she is offering to throw you a shower, then she is taking on that financial burden.  If you dont' want her to have that burden, then you should decline the offer, not pay for it yourself.  Guests should not have to pay anything.  If she really wants to throw you a shower, then she should do something she can afford.  She could have people to her house for a mid-afternoon party (no meals, just snacks).  I've heard of wine and cheese showers that are after dinner.  Everybody brings a bottle of wine, and the hosts provides the cheese.  I think that's nice.

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  • Krikin22Krikin22 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_about-the-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:9c575f17-71a3-4f23-9f98-6dab5d7b5b6cPost:08c62ce5-9c04-4e2f-b2a3-5abe9e29e519">Re: about the bridal shower...</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she is offering to throw you a shower, then she is taking on that financial burden.  If you dont' want her to have that burden, then you should decline the offer, not pay for it yourself.  Guests should not have to pay anything.  If she really wants to throw you a shower, then she should do something she can afford.  She could have people to her house for a mid-afternoon party (no meals, just snacks).  I've heard of wine and cheese showers that are after dinner.  Everybody brings a bottle of wine, and the hosts provides the cheese.  I think that's nice.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Agree with all of this</div>
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  • vchan4vchan4
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Good points mel, we haven't discussed details at all so this could all be for naught. But good to keep in mind
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  • SwazzleSwazzle member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've never been to any shower where I had to pay for my meal. You definitely can't do that to your guests. 

    As Mel said, if she's offering to throw the shower then she should be handling the costs associated with it. 

    In my area, it's common for the MOH to throw the shower with help from the other BMs and MOB. 



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  • turtlesloveturtleslove
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    The wine party like Mel described really is a lot of fun! And like she said it can be quite inexpensive.
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  • MamaBear904MamaBear904 member
    500 Comments

    This is pretty much what I was thinking. Now I just have to figure out how to approach her about this. She doesn't know much about etiquette, at least as it comes to wedding stuff, and I just CANNOT expect my guests to pay for their own meals.

    May 2013 Brides Siggy Challenge January- Let Them Eat Cake!
    My cake is a 2-tier ivory cake with silver dotted scallops, ribbon and pearl brooch.
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