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Who do I choose for a Maid of Honor?

ladydragonqueenladydragonqueen member
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in Wedding Party
My family is really close, so I've always imagined my three younger sisters being a part of my bridal party. However, since we're all equally close, I never thought I'd choose any of them as my maid of honor. I am also extremely close ot my mother, I think even more so than I am to my sisters. She's the person that falls closest to the definition of "best friend". I've considered asking her to be my matron of honor, but I also know that she doesn't like being in the spotlight and hates having her pictures taken. If she were part of the bridal party, she might be very uncomfortable and I don't want to put her on the spot. I know she'd be flattered, but the things she'd have to take on might make my special day not as fun for her. But I don't want her to feel that she has to do it either.

In addition, I used to have a very close friend that I thought would be my maid of honor even before I met my man. Not only was she close to me, but she was close to my family, my mom "adopting" her as her fifth daughter. However, we've sort of had a falling out over the last couple of years due to us just growing up and attempting to focus more on our own lives. I don't feel like we are as close as we were before.

I still have a year to a year and a half before I really even need to think about choosing a maid of honor, but it's something that kind of nags at the back of my mind. Would it be best to try rekindling my friendship with my friend or do you think I should just ask my mom?

*EDIT*
Changed how I wanted to conclude this. Thanks for reading through! />.<;; I'd like to note that I don't want to rekindle my friendship just so she can be my maid of honor, I also want to revive the friendship for the sake of our once close friendship...and...uhm...not sure how to phrase what's in my mind. Sorry. Hope this makes sense! Thanks for any advice!
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Re: Who do I choose for a Maid of Honor?

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    pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Neither, just don't have a MOH.  
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    Rebis58Rebis58 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I have two sisters, and they're my co-maids of honour. They are sharing the MOH "duties" (I mean day of, such as signing as my witness, I don't expect any duties before hand). You could either have all three be MOH, or no MOH and all BMs.
    In terms of asking your mom, my mom sounds similar to yours and she would HATE to be my MOH. She doesn't like being the centre of attention, and would rather just get to watch everything happen and visit with her friends and family. Honestly, I feel like Mother of the Bride is a very special role, and recognizing your mom with another title is really not necessary - just let her enjoy being MOB!
    And finally, in terms of your friend, after reading your addition at the end, I think you should definitely work on rekindling the friendship if you want to. I don't think you should necessarily go into it hoping that it will go back to how it used to be or pinning your hopes on her being your MOH. I do think it is a great idea to focus on the friendship, and if she ends up being your choice (and accepting the role of) MOH, that's a wonderful bonus in addition to getting your friend back.
    Good luck! And try not to worry so much, it will work out
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    owengirl996owengirl996 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choose-maid-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a9fab52d-6f88-4de5-9fbd-4974e66eed3dPost:9ccb16cc-d987-48b9-898f-7ec6bf843eb0">Re: Who do I choose for a Maid of Honor?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Neither, just don't have a MOH.  
    Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]

    Yes, this! If you are set on having a MOH, just wait until closer to your big day. Things could change in a year, you never know!

    I know it's not the same, but I was flip flopping on my MOH a while ago as well. Then, my cousin got married and did not make me her MOH (which she later regretted...she only didn't because I moved far away, but her MOH became the Maid of Dishonor lol) but anyway...that made my decision easy and I chose my sister! Probably for the better anyway as we are becoming closer as we get older. My cousin and I were just super close since we were only 6 months apart, while my sister is 4 yrs younger.

    Good luck, you will figure it out!
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    em01092em01092 member
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    1. No MOH is totally fine. You will however need to choose someone to hold your bouquet and sign your marriage license, so maybe divvy up those tasks.
    2. The MOB gets a lot of spotlight usually simply as the MOB and you're going to want pictures with your mom regardless if she is your MOH or not, right? So I personally don't think your reasoning in itself is enough not to ask her if you truly feel she is your nearest and dearest, but like I said, you don't have to ask anyone. 
    3. What do you mean by special tasks your mom would have to take on? The MOH's job is like that of the BMs: get the dress, show up sober, and smile for pictures. Very simple. A MOH usually holds a bouquet and signs the marriage license also, but that's it. Pre wedding parties and showers are not required, and anyone, not just a MOH, can throw them for you. There would be no need for your mom to feel pressured. 


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