How did you all do it?

chip1901 · February 2012

Friends who are family v. family who is just blood...

I have been hearing, "it's your big day and choose who you want to celebrate it with"... EASIER SAID THAN DONE! So how did you all pick and choose as to who to invite. Poor choice of wording as it sounds so harsh, but isn't that what it comes down to...picking & choosing? Any advice greatly appreciated.

FaithCaitlin · February 2012

Since we aren't paying for our wedding we have to invite the people my parents want to be there.

If it was up to us, we'd invite close friends and family that we BOTH knew. If one of us didn't know a guest, the person closest to that guest would decide if they really wanted them there and then figure it out from there.

PhiSigFly · February 2012

Let me start by saying that in the world of wedding planning, FI and I are both fortunate that we do not have close extended families. With that being said, we figured out our budget FIRST, and also talked about how many people we pictured at our wedding. In our case, we really wanted to be around 100 - 110. We figured we would need to invite between 135 - 145 to end up with about 100/110. So then WE wrote a list of our friends and family that we DEFINITELY wanted there, and those that would be on a B list if need be. As bad as it sounds, we just kept saying, "do we want to pay $xx to eat dinner with this person?" Once we had our friends and obvious family members listed, we told each of our parents who we were inviting, and told them that they could have 1 table of up to 12 people each (one table for my mom, my dad, and then FI's parents). We let them invite whoever they wanted for their table. In my mom's case, it's all her friends, as FI and I already planned on inviting most of her family because we're close with them. In my dad's case, it's his siblings that I am not close with and didn't feel the need to invite initially, and in FI's parents table, it's a combo.

However, FI and I are paying for 75% of the wedding on our own. If parents were adament about inviting more people, we would allow it but ask them to pay to cover the cost of the plates of those people. However, we didn't even talk about that, because it didn't come up as an issue.

Maybe we're the odd ones out here, but we just really aren't close to aunts/uncles/cousins and didn't feel the need to invite them to our wedding. Fortunately, our parents agree with this line of thought.

DaisyBoo36 · February 2012

I'll be honest with you, it isn't easy but it can be done. Our initial guest list was about 120 which included extended family members who FI and I are not close to and of other individuals who we "had to" invite because they are long time family friends. Recently, we both agreed to modify the wedding plans we had already set up and do what we originally wanted which is to have an intimate wedding with out closest family and friends. We are now at 50 and I am extremely happy! Our list only includes our nearest and dearest family and friends who have been there for us and our parents are accepting to our new plans. Ultimately, the one thing I have learned throughout this process is that it is your wedding and you should invite those who are important to you

Btw, I did forget to mention that we are paying for most of our wedding so it is ultimately our decision who we want to invite. In our smaller list we made sure to have enough representation of our families and our most closest friends. It really wasn't that hard as I imagined it would be.

deelopi9 · February 2012

We chose Friends and family who have been in our past, are active in our present and can not live without them in our future. We then consolidaded that list to people who we see only at weddings/funerals, people we see at some holiday parties and people who we see/talk to month-to-month. That helped narrow our list down.

Danny&Mel2003 · February 2012

Originally we have the parental units a guest list of 5 but my dad has brought up some valid Pts can't invite so an so an not his wife so now there list has shifted to 8 ... The majority of our list is immediate family an super close friends ... We're currently at 85 an I'm hoping only 75 -80 show It will be a rude awakening to some of my friends or their how think we are friends however this is not cheap and Fi & I are paying roughly 70% on our own I have my immediate list, an list of who I can do without .... I don't care how it sounds we have a tight budget an If i haven't seen ex Kel in 9 months an she lives next door Kel will not be invited as long as family is ok with my list an Fi i don't care who has a problem

Jessica & Mark Andrew · February 2012

FI and I are also paying for our wedding ourselves so we decided on a small and intimate sit down dinner after our ceremony. What we did was, invite our grandparents, parents (obviously LOL), their brothers and sisters (our aunts and uncles), and their children (our cousins). That right there is about 50 people. So then, we decided to invite 5 couples that are close friends of ours. So we will have 60 guests.

LoisLane007 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_how-did-you-all-do-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:67Discussion:edfc130c-0b27-47cd-9a24-18e8c6f703f4Post:9952c2de-d95e-4d4b-b325-556c38144576">Re: How did you all do it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since we aren't paying for our wedding we have to invite the people my parents want to be there. If it was up to us, we'd invite close friends and family that we BOTH knew. If one of us didn't know a guest, the person closest to that guest would decide if they really wanted them there and then figure it out from there.
Posted by FaithCaitlin[/QUOTE]

Pretty much the same thing.

I made a list, DH made a list, my parents made a list, and his made a list. We Than sat down and found people on all four lists, then those on 3, then on 2. We counted how many people we had and saw we still under budget. So we played that good old game "one fo me, one for you" until we had maximim capacity. Everyone else went to the "B list." As we got the RSVP's back, we went through the no's and sent out an invite to our "B listers."

How did you all do it?

Re: How did you all do it?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards