paying for BM hair and make-up?

rose41010 · January 2012

To start.. I am from Pennsylvania. I live in NC and 3 of my BM's are from here. The three of them all assumed we would be paying for their hair and make-up to be done even after I told them it was optional and that I didnt care how their hair was styled as long as it looked nice. I've never heard of the Bride and Groom or their families paying for BM hair and make-up and I've been in several weddings. So I had to let them know we would not be paying for it and I feel like an asshole. Is anyone paying for their BM's hair and makeup to be done? Is this a southern thing?

rose41010 · January 2012

sorry didn't mean to post twice

vme2012 · January 2012

I'm not. I think it's just a "known" thing that they pay for it as being a part of the wedding. You could pay for it as their gift if you wanted to.

sarahmarchand · January 2012

I am not paying for my BM hair and makeup to be done professionally and they are very understanding of this. It might not be fair to ask them to pay for it but if you don't care whether or not it's professionally done, don't feel bad. It's their choice. You are NOT an asshole. Weddings are expensive and your BMs should be understanding and supportive.

brittneykay11 · January 2012

That is crazy if they are mad about that. I told my girls to do whatever they wanted to their hair (of course they want it done because they want to look good). I feel it gets sketchy if you require them to have their hair and make-up done...I know if I were standing in a wedding and the bride "required it" then I'd feel like the bride should pay for it....keeping it an "option" takes the stress off you because then they wont except you to pay...if that makes sense..

stephbuck5115 · January 2012

We are paying for the BM hair and make-up. The main reason for this, is because our venue is near nothing. So I have to have the hair stylist and make-up artist come to the venue. I don't want to have to worry about my BMs traveling all over to get this done when I want to spend time with them. I have not told my BMs yet, but it will be part of their bridal party present.

mandctaft · January 2012

If you require it, then you pay. If you tell them they just need to look nice and they want it professionally done, then they pay. If you want to pay as a gift then that's nice, but certainly not expected.

kmac821 · January 2012

I'm also paying for hair/makeup/mani/pedis but only because I wanted to treat them to it! I also didn't go crazy on BM gifts, I probably spent about $60 on each of them, so I'm putting this as part of their gift. They were also shocked about this, but that's okay!!

freebread03 · January 2012

Ladies, if it's for the wedding, and you're requireing it, it's not much of a "gift" to them that you're paying for it. Don't consider it part of their bridesmaids gift.

If you require hair/makeup, you pay. If you don't require it but they want it, you can politely inform them that you are not paying for it (since it's optional).

skantrowitz · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_paying-bm-hair-up-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:74eb416a-e32e-4b12-922e-b30295cf766ePost:b7ff620b-af80-408b-aa1e-fd9716912ae5">Re: paying for BM hair and make-up?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you require it, then you pay. If you tell them they just need to look nice and they want it professionally done, then they pay. If you want to pay as a gift then that's nice, but certainly not expected.
Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]

This. I'll also treat anyone who's in town when I get my mani/pedi to one as well if they like, but again, I'm not requiring them to do it.

artjrf · January 2012

I am paying for all of our hair

leagess · March 2012

I've been wondering the same thing. I would love to treat everyone who wants to get their hair done, but it would just be really expensive. I've thought about offering to split the cost- but I don't know how that would work logistically.
I'm not requiring that the girls have their hair done, and some of the bridesmaids aren't interested in getting their hair done. So, it seems like if I pay for some to get their hair done, then it wouldn't be fair to the others that don't want their hair done.
So, it sounds like the consensus is that it's ok to ask them to pay?

paying for BM hair and make-up?

Re: paying for BM hair and make-up?

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