A very good girlfriend of mine who is in her late 40's has Multiple Sclerosis. She's not on a wheelchair and walks around with walkers. She's married and has grown up children. However, her marriage is quite dead; there hasn’t been any passion or affection in a long time – way before her MS. I never see them talk to each other during get togethers! Prior to her MS diagnose, they separated4 times for a divorce but got back together for the sake of the children. However, now that she has MS, despite of the children being grown up, her husband would feel very guilty to leave her despite having no joy in his life. And she is scared of leaving him as well cuz she is scared of not being able to handle her MS. They go on leisure trips separately and share absolutely no common activity; they lead very separate lives but just share a roof.
For tomorrow, all her girlfriends are planning this big birthday party for her B’day. You should see how unenthusiastic her husband is about it! In some ways, I don’t blame him either because sometimes she is really selfish and mean with him (I guess that wahat happens when you are unhappy with the person). He puts up with her, but is also very frustrated.
A guy friend of mine who is around the same age as the husband is as well a very close friend to them both, especially to her. They knew each other before she even met her husband. Very recently at a dinner party at their house?”, I noticed his admiration for her and vice versa. He and I talked for a while, and he kept talking about her with such an enthusiasm! He told me that she is such a beautiful woman and she was even more stunningly beautiful when he first met her when they both were in college. A few days ago, I was struck to see how many pictures of her and him was posted on Facebook by her sister. The only man she took pictures with! And yet there were only 1 or 2 random pictures of the husband standing with other people, none with his wife!
This friend of ours is divorced and has 2 young children living with their mother. He is very caring and compassionate, very well educated, and very handsome (well, the whole package).
I’ve been thinking ever since that he would make a much better companion to her than her actual husband. Is it crazy of me to think that way? I only want the best for her. And I hate to see her to go through life and live such an empty life. The gentleman that this friend is would never make a move on a married woman, and she won’t either (she feels very self-conscious about her illness and always think people are nice to her because of her situation); so how can I get them closer. Believe me, this would be a win situation for them all. My only concern is that her MS might frighten him, but it should NOT. She is a perfectly fine person, with just limited mobility.
Earlier this year, a friend of my best friend got married. She is 38 years old and has also MS since 2004. She married this really nice guy, same age, and he is so caring of her. She also has limited mobility and since works from home. So why can’t the same thing happen for my friend. When I saw the love between these 2 people, it really made me realize that having MS should not stop anyone from finding love again and mostly a happy life.
Any advice, on how I can get the two of them closer?
Thanks