Just Engaged and Proposals

Question about telling his parents

Any help would be greatly appreciated! You see, we got engaged in December-January and we told his parents we'd like to go out to dinner with them. I felt like they kinda had an idea of what was up. We know they are really busy, so we tried to ask them out to dinner first, before my dad. They told us yeah they'd love to- it got cancelled and we've asked them countless times when we could go and they keep giving us the run around. We've told my dad a long time ago, and we've told or word has slipped to everyone- except his parents. They live within walking distance, and we've yet to catch them both together even just to tell them.
1st question, do you think it could be they're avoiding us or that they're truely just busy?
and 2nd, should we just tell one of them, or write? I think months later they should know by now. We've had to postpone the wedding for a year because we couldn't plan anything yet. and my family wants to start calling them and plan stuff and it sounds dumb that I have to say, they don't know yet...

Please help!!!!

Re: Question about telling his parents

  • Wow, that sucks that you have had to delaay your planning because of them. That's gotta be difficult. I can't tell you if they're busy or avoiding you, but maybe you could just tekk them thsat you have something really important to tell them? You said you think that maybe they suspect it- do you think that they are unhappy about it for some reason? What's your relationship with them like?

    If that doesn't work, maybe since they live close you guys could just call and say you'd like to drop by sometime. Or a letter would be nice too.

    Sorry I dont have better advice. Congrats though!! Good luck!Laughing
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  • You need to tell them today. You got engaged four months ago or so. My parents would be pissed if I didn't call them the day I got engaged.

    Walk over there & just tell them. Or give them a call now. His parents will be hurt. You need to do it today & apologize for not just calling them with the news the day you got engaged.

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  • FI and I didn't "formally" tell either of our families.  We were at a winery with a group of friends when he proposed.  His family knew it was coming so he called them and told them I said yes.  I couldn't wait to tell my parents so I called them from the winery.  They were in the car ordering at the Panera Bread drive through window when I told them.  It definitely wasn't fancy or formal but I couldn't wait to tell them and I wanted them to be the first to know!

  • Why on earth wouldn't you just tell them??? There doesn't have to be a big to do with telling them - as far as I know, we aren't living in a movie.  I couldn't get a hold of my mom so I finally texted her to let her and my dad know FI and I were engaged.  She would have kicked my ass if I'd waited any longer to tell her.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_question-telling-his-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:fe1bf3b2-ee23-43c6-8fbb-199786c43a6cPost:95a69c03-22ce-4752-acbd-88e19ea6651b">Question about telling his parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]Any help would be greatly appreciated! You see, we got engaged in December-January and we told his parents we'd like to go out to dinner with them. I felt like they kinda had an idea of what was up. We know they are really busy, so we tried to ask them out to dinner first, before my dad. They told us yeah they'd love to- it got cancelled and we've asked them countless times when we could go and they keep giving us the run around. We've told my dad a long time ago, and we've told or word has slipped to everyone- except his parents. They live within walking distance, and we've yet to catch them both together even just to tell them. 1st question, do you think it could be they're avoiding us or that they're truely just busy? and 2nd, should we just tell one of them, or write? I think months later they should know by now. We've had to postpone the wedding for a year because we couldn't plan anything yet. and my family wants to start calling them and plan stuff and it sounds dumb that I have to say, they don't know yet... Please help!!!!
    Posted by the1inWhite[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_question-telling-his-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:fe1bf3b2-ee23-43c6-8fbb-199786c43a6cPost:52693c99-e6fa-4e92-a588-970f60aa6f53">Re: Question about telling his parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]You need to tell them today. You got engaged four months ago or so. My parents would be pissed if I didn't call them the day I got engaged. Walk over there & just tell them. Or give them a call now. His parents will be hurt. You need to do it today & apologize for not just calling them with the news the day you got engaged.
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. Damage is probably already done. I'm sure they'll be pretty ticked off, especially since your family already knows. Shoot, FI and I told both sets of parents the NIGHT we got engaged. The next day, I called up all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents and just told them like that. No big to do, just a phone call.</div><div>
    </div><div>They're within walking distance. You have NO excuse to not have told them yet. Seriously.</div>
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  • Ditto to alot that's been said. We got engaged while on a cruise and I couldn't tell anyone for about 4 days due to being on the water. When I got back, I couldn't wait to tell my family, even though a lot of them knew it was coming, so I just made a phone call.

    I hope your future in-laws don't get too upset and I hope they kinda have an idea or else it could get ugly. But I think just walk over and tell them or make a phone call...a phone call is better than nothing!

    Good luck!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_question-telling-his-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:fe1bf3b2-ee23-43c6-8fbb-199786c43a6cPost:71249691-25fd-4a88-afc7-30e5d65a5bcb">Re: Question about telling his parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]They live in walking distance.  Take a walk some evening this week and stop in.
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>YUP. </div>
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  • you've spent more time calling them to plan a dinner when you could've taken 5 seconds to say "we're getting hitched!" ... 
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  • needle&threadneedle&thread member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_question-telling-his-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:fe1bf3b2-ee23-43c6-8fbb-199786c43a6cPost:71249691-25fd-4a88-afc7-30e5d65a5bcb">Re: Question about telling his parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]They live in walking distance.  Take a walk some evening this week and stop in.
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

    Exactly this...

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