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wedding party trouble

elv461elv461
in Moms and Maids
my finace and i recently had a falling out with his best man. this put us in the awkward position of asking him to step down and having one of the other groomsman step up. the only problem is the new best man dated my maid of honor and im worried that it will be awkward between them and her boyfriend who doesnt like the best man at all. should i just keep the pairings the way they were before best man 1 was nixed? or rearrange it all together and hope theres no drama between best man 2 and my MOH's bf? Help!!!
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Re: wedding party trouble

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    First, you should never have "promoted" another GM to the position of BM.  I am sure that GM feels a little slighted since he was basically second choice and only got the title of BM because your FI had a falling out with his original BM.

    As for any awkwardness, I am sure your friends can act like mature adults for one evening.  It isn't like the BM and MOH have to be attached to hip all night long, they only really need to be around each other for pictures and a possible 10 second walk up the aisle.

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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited July 2012
    Ditto PP. If your relationship with the original best man was damaged so severely that both parties thought it best he not be in the wedding, OK. But you definitely should have not "promoted" anyone. My H has been in that position and said it sucked. He was "promoted" from usher to GM and said it felt like he wasn't good enough the first time around; only good enough after someone was kicked out.

    To answer the question, I think unless the break-up was horrible, they should be able to act like two adults for the evening. You don't have to have them walk down the aisle arm-in-arm. You could always have the WP file out in single file (like have all the girls leave first, followed by all the men). We also did not have our BMs and GMs enter together--the guys were already up front and the ladies walked in alone.


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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-party-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f897743f-8913-4c0a-b97d-3d3b701ddf13Post:7badb4eb-9b7d-4b14-9608-f345733d121b">wedding party trouble</a>:
    [QUOTE]my finace and i recently had a falling out with his best man. this put us in the awkward position of asking him to step down and having one of the other groomsman step up. the only problem is the new best man dated my maid of honor and im worried that it will be awkward between them and her boyfriend who doesnt like the best man at all. should i just keep the pairings the way they were before best man 1 was nixed? or rearrange it all together and hope theres no drama between best man 2 and my MOH's bf? Help!!!
    Posted by elv461[/QUOTE]

    Create a time machine, go back in time, and don't treat your friends like they're replaceable props in your wedding.

    And you didn't "ask him to step down." You kicked him out.
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-party-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f897743f-8913-4c0a-b97d-3d3b701ddf13Post:7badb4eb-9b7d-4b14-9608-f345733d121b">wedding party trouble</a>:
    [QUOTE]my finace and i recently had a falling out with his best man. this put us in the awkward position of asking him to step down and having one of the other groomsman step up. the only problem is the new best man dated my maid of honor and im worried that it will be awkward between them and her boyfriend who doesnt like the best man at all. should i just keep the pairings the way they were before best man 1 was nixed? or rearrange it all together and hope theres no drama between best man 2 and my MOH's bf? Help!!!
    Posted by elv461[/QUOTE]

    Let me see if I have this straight.

    Best Man was kicked out of your wedding.
    MOH used to date your FI's replacement Best Man.

    And now you want to know if you should boot your MOH somewhere else because her current BF does not like the Replacement Best Man.

    And it is only now that you are wondering if your actions are going to create drama?!?!?

    Ziti nailed it.  Invent a time machine and fix your first mistake of booting the Best Man.  Problem solved.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-party-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f897743f-8913-4c0a-b97d-3d3b701ddf13Post:7badb4eb-9b7d-4b14-9608-f345733d121b">wedding party trouble</a>:
    [QUOTE]my finace and i recently had a falling out with his best man. this put us in the awkward position of asking him to step down and having one of the other groomsman step up. the only problem is the new best man dated my maid of honor and im worried that it will be awkward between them and her boyfriend who doesnt like the best man at all. should i just keep the pairings the way they were before best man 1 was nixed? or rearrange it all together and hope theres no drama between best man 2 and my MOH's bf? Help!!!
    Posted by elv461[/QUOTE]

    I would hope that the members of your bridal party are grown up enough to get along nicely for one evening!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • FancypantsamyFancypantsamy member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Not to add to an echo chamber, but what does MOH's new boyfriend have to do with anything? My MOH and FI's BM are going to be together for probably a total of three minutes where they barely talk - walking back down the aisle, and then possibly being introduced at the reception. If MOH's boyfriend has a problem with it, that's really not your problem.

    I think it's weird to expect your wedding party to dance with a bunch of strangers just for the hell of it at the end of your first dance - can I get an amen other E-Board knotties? I mean if we think head tables are weird and rude because they separate WP from their dates, I think making people dance with a stranger (or a possible ex) is also rude. So don't do that, and there's some drama gone. 

    I was MOH in my friend's wedding two years ago. I was so honored and I can vividly remember so much of it. I couldn't tell you what the Best Man looked like or what his name was though, because I barely interacted with him. Relax. 
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