Family Invite Issue..

caitsboray · August 2012

Our Guest list is 220 way more than we wanted to invite so unfortuately anybody NOT in a relationship we did not invite "and Guest" including family.. well my FI cousin (who is a royal witch to begin with) was, i dont know.. confused? by the fact that her invitation was only addressed to her.. and wondering why someone else's invite said "and guest" (who happened to be in a live in relationship for 11 years!) so she called my mother in law who then asked me and i simply exlpained we didnt have the money to pay 85$ a plate for single people to pick a friend to accompany them.. so my MIL explained this to her..

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL we recieved her rsvp yesterday in which she put down TWO dinners. needless to say i am livid and really want to call her and tell her there will be only one seat for her but my MIL wants us to be the bigger person and just write her off after the wedding. which i guess we are going to do but i still cant seem to let it go its so aggrivating..

what would YOU do?!

cronin85 · August 2012

I having been calling people that have decided to add their own guest. Me and FI are paying for the whole wedding and we do not have room for people to give themelseves the plus 1. I think that is crazy especially seeing as she spoke to your FMIL first about it... People are just so rude sometimes!

caitsboray · August 2012

I know it almost wouldnt bother me if she WOULDNT of asked and just assumed but we TOLD HER NO and she still took it apon herself!

WLevine75 · August 2012

Same thing just happened to us. My FI nephew was invited without a guest, because if we invited him with a guest then his cousin's would wonder why they werent invited with guests. So he RSVP'd with a guests. We didnt want to pay for people to bring a friend. If they were in a committed relationship that would be different. So we explained that to his mother who is my FI SIL and now she isnt coming and either is her son. Do you believe that???

caitsboray · August 2012

rediculous! people think that weddings are FREE! and im kinda mad that my MIL is making us "be the better person" because we honestly dicussed not even inviting her thats how far the "dislike" goes....

gabriel0915 · August 2012

I would tell her no. By writing her off you're still stuck paying for it. She was specifically told 'NO' and did it anyway. She needs to be told that she can't just do what she wants and get away with it. If she still won't give up tell her that you'd like a check for $85.00 to cover the cost of the additional person (obviously we know this it's proper but it's to get a point across). Tell her that it's just not gonna happen.

caitsboray · August 2012

yeah and i totally would of did it instantly but pressure from the inlaws is "be the bigger person" and keep the peace so im stuck between a rock and a hard place. my MIL even said she'd take care the additional dinner but to me thats not the point.. i want her to know that she cant go around doing stuff like that on purpose out of spite! did i mention she didnt rsvp to my shower (Regrets only) and then didnt show up! AND had the nerve to text about the guest thing DURING the shower

hillkat2 · August 2012

oh i'm hoping we don't hit this issue, but we have been dealing with the aggressive "i need a plus one" too. i guess be firm and i would have your fmil call if she is supportive and tell her. the ladies on here suggested we have "policy" to fall back on, which might help.

good luck. seriously, who knew this stuff would be so stressful!!!

mtrosales · August 2012

A way to avoid this would could have been to address the invitations to "Emily and Emily's Boyfriend," instead of to "and guest." Then maybe the annoying cousin would've better understood that it isn't appropriate to just bring a random person.

If I were you, I'd have your fiance call her [it is HIS cousin, right?] and explain the situation. That way, you're not left feeling like a bridezilla or anything lol

mtrosales · August 2012

Also, are your in-laws paying for the reception? Because if they aren't, they really don't have a say in who and who isn't invited.

najera36 · August 2012

We are in a similar situation - we have had several people add on guests and children who are well aware of who and who isn't invited. We are calling each of them and explaning it to them again. Tell her no again. I know it seems ridiculous to have to do (trust me, I was really stessed out about this too) and don't get off the phone with her until she gets it. Maybe she won't come at all

caitsboray · August 2012

UPDATE!!!!

so I was told yesterday that my Fiance's brother wasnt allowed to bring his girlfriend (now wife) to the wedding of the cousin who rsvped with 2 people so she should KNOW where we are coming from and shouldnt of did that especially because shes SINGLE... so my FI called her today and left a message explaining everything to her.. i was so proud of him because he is the most non confrontational person in the world! if i were to guess, shes not going to show up now and i wouldnt be surprised if her sister and parents didnt either (because they are those type of people) but atleast we got our point across!

feeling much better!!

Family Invite Issue..

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