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Pre-wedding Parties

Co-workers and boss- to invite or not to invite to the E-Party?

I'm really struggling with this question since FI's parents are throwing us an E-party in June.  I work in an office with about 80-100 people total, but mostly I'm not close to any except for a couple.  In my former department I was friends with a male co-worker around my age; we both did the same job and we got along well.  Myself, him and another co-worker started a weekly lunch outing and I began to consider the 2 of them friends.  I invited both of them to my last birthday celebration and they both attended and I didn't think it was weird at all.  I also attended one of their birthday parties.  Now that I'm not in that department anymore I don't see the one co-worker as often, and the other has since left the company but I still consider them friends and occasionally we will all still get lunch together. 

I have 2 other co-workers I would consider: a female co-worker who I talk to a lot, we get lunch, talk about our lives, joke around and we have bonded since we are very similar and this place can be a little isolating.  Then there is my current boss.  She is a few years older than me but we get along great and she is the type of person I would hang out with outside of work, except...she's my boss.  But she's never treated me as if I'm under her; she works with me like we are equals on a team so I've never gotten that weird boss power vibe from her.  I really enjoy her company and I would like to have her meet my FI and friends, but I don't know if that's crossing a line or if she will feel uncomfortable about it.

So I don't know if I should invite them to the E-party in June, or just wait to decide if I want to invite them to the wedding when the time comes.  The only thing is, since the wedding will be out of state they probably wouldn't make it to the actual wedding and would be more likely to come to the E-party that will be local.  So, if I'm going to invite them to the wedding I'd rather invite them to the E-party as well. I go back and forth almost every day on whether I want to invite them or not.  Funny because my FI has the exact opposite problem: everyone in his office is extremely tight and they go out all the time so he doesn't want to exclude anyone. Help!

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Re: Co-workers and boss- to invite or not to invite to the E-Party?

  • You shouldn't invite anyone to your engagement party who will not be invited to your wedding. So you should decide on the wedding guest list first.
                       
  • Don't invite them if there is a chance they woun't be invited to the wedding.
     
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  • I wouldn't invite anyone to the engagement party if they weren't invited to the wedding.  That's not the issue.  The issue is whether I should invite my co-workers to the wedding, and if I do decide to invite them, should I invite them to the engagement party?
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  • I would not invite them to the engagement party, and wait to decide about the wedding until later.  Honestly, you don't sound super close with any of them, and there's a good chance you'll be even less close when your wedding rolls around.



  • Thank you for the advice- I think you are right.
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