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RSVP question

rehersaldinnerrehersaldinner member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I want to do a reply card that doesn't have any write in options.  I only want people attending that I invite.  My brother got married on Saturday and there was a person who wasn't invited (due to nasty and disparaging remarks this relative has made about my brother and other family members)  and another person who brought his business partner not his wife to talk business with the best man (really inappropriate).  He was shut down and asked to leave but that place could have gone to a family member or friend.   Is it impolite to  want to make the reply card with the name of the invited person with a checkbox where the invited person or people can indicate if they are coming.  Plus a note that says

Please do not add any extra guest.  Due to our budget we will not accept write in names in place of the name on the invitation.  Thank You for your assistance with this matter.
Love JJ and Russ
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Re: RSVP question

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    It's ok to write the names on your RSVP card, but that second paragraph is pretty rude.  I think that having the names written out will help a lot, and if anyone adds additional people, you will just need to call them and say that the invitation was just for them. 

    Also, I don't think that the paragraph you drafted necessarily makes it clear that you cannot substitute one person for another, since you mention budget.  If someone is dense enough to cross out a name and substitute another person, I don't think that note will help, but that note will offend most of your guests that would never think to be so rude as to write in an uninvited guest.  Good luck!
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  • kikirst33kikirst33 member
    100 Comments
    Be prepared that no matter what you do you will have people that write in additional guests.

    Your plan to pre-fill out the cards is the best way to go.  As PP have said I would avoid any additional comments about not adding other guests. 
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Unfortunately, no matter how you design the rsvps, people will write on them.  If they're block-headed enough to plus one people, they're too oblivious to not cross out and write stuff.

    You have to call and talk to people, there really isn't a way around it.  It sucks, but it's part of the experience.
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I had similar concerns.  Our invitations were addressed to only those invited (inner and outer envelopes, except where it was "and guest") and our RSVP cards had everyone's name on them too. 

    I still had 1 person email me to confirm it was a no kids event.

    Nothing is carved in stone, but if you do as others have said, address them to just whose invited and put their names on the RSVP, you can lessen the amount of calls you'll have to make.

    GOOD LUCK!

     

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  • rehersaldinnerrehersaldinner member
    First Comment
    Thank You for your feedback.  I will not put the note in when I make my invitation package as I do not wish to be rude to our family and friends but I was amazed at some ot the rudeness we experienced during the wedding.   The extra guest thing also happened at the rehearsal dinner as well.  Six people were just brought in by a family member.  The bill went from $800.00 to over $1200.00.   I am trying to avoid some of the same things when we tie the "knot".
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