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New York-Hudson Valley

Ok I need to double check with you ladies on this...

In terms of your BM's dresses ....
The place I went thru kept telling me they wanted the girls to come just to double check and make sure all their dresses were ok?  That nothing was going to be done they preferred to play it safe. Alrighty then ... alerted my girls .....Today I get a call from 2 of my BM'S....not only did they have to pay for the remainder of the dress (according to the contract they signed - damn contracts) that they were 30 days past due on their payment?!?!  The woman / owner suggested if they wanted they could take them home w/ them and come back 6wks before the wedding for alterations??? Is this normal?  I've never heard of such a thing. She tells me girls sometimes like to take th dresses home to find out which undergarments they want to wear with the dress etc....I said but don't they do that at their fittings???? WTF is it me? Maybe it is....somebody chime in.

Then I come to find -- somebody shoot me now.....they don't do the alterations on the premises???? Not even for my dress!!!! ...They are done across the street....so I said what happens in terms of my dress then? I have to trapse across the street with everything in tow? I told them when I was considering on possibly putting sleeves on my dress you led me to believe you knew what you were doing and that you would be doing the alterations I said sooooo how is this done if I wanted to see different types of sleeves w/ my dress? She said well if you want (want being the operative word!)  we can make an appt and have the seamstress come here ....If I want?! She knewthis was a possibility from the beginning! Then she tells me it gets a bit crowded in the shop and that's why she normally has everyone go across the street but it certainly can be done -- I said YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS WAS THE PROCESS - as well as my girls taking their dresses home 2 1/2 months before the wedding!

I don't know why this is irking me? I feel a bit blind sided....It's little crap like this pisses me off so now 2 of my BM's have their dresses at home and now its up to them to either go back to the ummm woman across the street from the bridal shop or go to a cleaners to have alterations done -- I don't get it.....Somebody stop me before I explode!!!!

BTW....The owner told me she would definitely have a room ready for my girls when they went today to try the dresses on....Umm my BM told me they were somewhere in a back room/closet type where the toilets were! The toilets????!!!!!! Seriously!

Need your POV please.
Am I spinning out of control for no reason?
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Re: Ok I need to double check with you ladies on this...

  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had 2 local BMs and 2 that were out of town.  One of the local girls picked up the two out of town dresses (she was visiting boston where they were from and said she'd drop them off) and the payment was due then.  All of my girls had their alterations done somewhere else (because there was a closer seamstress for the 2 local girls and obviously the out of town girls weren't coming down for that).

    The store I got my dress at (they got theirs too) do alterations on the premisis.  I had the option to not get them done there but I just thought it was easier.  I know though, had my girls gotten alterations there, they would not have had to take their dresses. 
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    As far as your bridesmaids dresses:
    1) if the payment was overdue, it was overdue. Gotta read those contracts
    2) I think it's nice they let them take the dresses home with them to buy undergarments. Bridal salons way overcharge for those things so there is no reason to buy them there. I would be a little concerned about them getting dirty, but they're all presumably responsible adults.
    Your dress:
    The alterations lady at my bridal salon worked out of her home. She did the measurements in the salon though. Will they do it in the salon for you, then do the work across the street?
    Honestly, it is nicer to have the option to pick your own alterations person. You avoid being overcharged.


    Don't let these things stress you out too much. Seriously. There's nothing majorly wrong with any of this. If you let things like this freak you out, wait until the week before wedding when the groom's tux fits like crap and MW insists it's fine, your FI's aunt and uncle, who declined because they had a swim meet to coach, suddently realize the swim meet isn't that day and can they come anyway?, the day before the wedding your mom decides she wants a memorial candle on the altar, etc, etc, etc. Crap happens - breathe, smile, and move on.
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  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Steph & Kristen - Thanks for your input. I feel so clueless to this stuff. I don't know why? I should know better or have asked more questions. I guess I just assumed and I shouldn't have!

     Anyway in terms of the alterations for my dress I'm going to find out if they take the measurements at the salon and do them across the street? In hindsight,  I don't care where they do them as long as they get done...I guess I was a little surprised not being on top of the process.  Shame on me.  Thanks for the advice Kristen. I will learn to take more deep breaths and not let this take on a life of its own!

    Once again - I'm so greatful to have this board to turn to. I've gotten such great advice it's been incredibally helpful to me. So thank you again. Soooo appreciate the guidance.

    -Lee
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    What area do you live in? I'm sure someone here could recommend a good seamstress near you. Or just ask the salon about how they handle them like you said.
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  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Kristin is right...just breathe breathe breathe. 

    So many little things are going to come up during this process.  Some of them will be real issues and others are just bumps in the road.  Pour yourself a nice glass of wine or whatever it is you drink (if you do) and just put your feet up and relax.

    And I also agree with Kristin...let us know where you are and see if we can help with a seamstress.
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  • lawyer707lawyer707 member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had my dress altered at mary and patty's in thornwood... I bought it in Florida so I had to find a place to alter around here. It was recommended by some brides on the boards when I was getting married, and they did a good job and had my dress done early. GL with the alterations.
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  • edited December 2011
    Hi! Hope things are going better today!

    Anyway,
    RE - bridesmaids dresses payments - Every dress place can run their business the way they want. Pay in full when the order is placed. Half to order  half when the dress comes in. A third to order, a third when it comes in , a third when you pick up. Etc. Just because it's one way in one store, doesn't mean another similar store will operate the same way. If your girls were late on a payment, hopefully they weren't charged a late fee. If they were, see if you contract states when payment is due. If it does you probably can't get it back. If it's not clear, and if they charged a late fee, see if they will refund them that money because it wasn't made clear. They may not, but it's worth asking about. Remember that's only if they charged a late payment fee. (You can't ask for the payment back)

    RE - bridemaids dress pickup - Again, every place is run differently. Some hold all dresses until alterations. some hold just the brides. And some hold none. Or only those with weddings in the next month. It will vary. Just because they want the bridesmaids to take their dresses home doesn't mean the store isn't professional. Very important though, if any store requires that the dress be taken home prior to the wedding, make sure you look at it! Bridal or bridesmaids. Try it on and make sure it's in good condition. After you leave the store it's your responsibility. So before you leave make sure there is nothing wrong with dress.

    RE: bridesmaids dress alterations and undergarments. - For both bridal and bridesmaids, you don't figure out what undergarments you need at the alterations appt. You figure out ahead of time and bring them with you. You need your undergarments for the alterations appt. They fit the dress to you in your underwear! (You also need to have your shoes for your alts appt)

    RE: alterations - you and BMs' - If they don't do alterations onsite - they really should have told you. But remember, you don't need to have your alterations done at the store where you got your dress. There are lots of places that do alterations.
    RE: the sleeves- Does the store have sleeves that they can hold up to the dress, or were they expecting you to select out of a catalog? If they have them in the store to hold up to the dress, I'd do that . Decide what sleeve you want, order or buy it and bring it with you to your alteration fitting. If there is one person at the store tat you trust to do your dress alterations, see if she can work something out with you. That way, no crossing the street or changing in the bathroom is necessary.

    Hope this helps!

    And hopefully everything else goes smoothly! Hope you and FI have a nice valentines day!

  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi Ladies -
    Kristen and Stpeh - I live in Ridgefield CT ... My family lives in Putnam (Carmel) and the othr part of my fam live in Stormville and Holmes (East Fishkill)

    So if ya know of a good seamstress just give me a holler :-)


    You guys ROCK!
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  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Teeerrriiiiiiiiiiii - Thank you so much. You always take the time to answer in such detail.
    Made a note to myself to buy my undergarments before my fittings. They told me they were going to sow a bra into the dress - do you think I should have them do that or just buy one on my own?  I just wanna make sure the "girls" are up and at attention and looking perky as ever :-)

    Thanks for your guidance as always!Innocent
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  • edited December 2011
    You are so sweet!

    I went to Alterations Etc in Wappingers falls. Leslie did an amazing job on my dress.

    RE - the bra issue. It's all going to depend on what you are more comfortable with.

     If you are used to the structure and support of the bra, get one that you can wear on it's own and will stay hidden under your dress.

    Getting bra cups sewn into to bridesmaid dresses (they are lighter) or depending on what size you wear (A? B?) probably will be ok. If your dress ifs very heavy or you wear a larger bra cup size (C? D?) you may not be all that comfortable because the dresss is weighing itself on your boob and not the bra.

    Probably difficult to understand. But if you try on a tube top with out a bra and lift your hands in the air, what happens to the girls? If they keep the top on, your probably ok. If your breasts fall out, you may want to wear a bra separate from your dress.

    Re - type of bra - ask the ladies wear your bought your dress what bra style they suggest for your dress - strapless bra style, long line corset style, or long line foam-y pushup style.

    Good luck!

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