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In Laws at Shower?

danilinsdaydanilinsday
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in Moms and Maids
I am having a difficult time deciding if I should invite my in laws to my bridal shower. My Fiance is not close to his family at all and never really has been. His mother also has a strained relationship with the extended family and has expressed jealousy over he and I spending more time with mine or how close we all are. I of course am inviting my FMIL and his Grandmother but am not sure if I should invite his Female Cousins. I have met them only a couple times and would not consider us close by any means, he is not even close to them. His mother though, and I have posted of her strange way of thinking before, will look at it one of two ways. If I dont invite them she will complain about his family not being included as much as mine, but on the other hand if I do, I'm worried she will say that it is an attempt to get gifts, which it is not. She has express mltiple times how weddings are all about money (ours included) and how we are taking this "way too seriously and it shouldn't be a big event". But she is also always looking at the two families as competition as well. Should I invite them? Which is the lesser of two evils?
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Re: In Laws at Shower?

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2012
    I don't think you should let your FMIL's bad attitude influence your decision either way. Showers are usually intimate events, attended by the bride's nearest and dearest relatives and friends. The MOG and MOB, grandmothers and sisters should receive courtesy invitations to your shower. It's perfectly acceptable to leave the groom's cousins (or yours for that matter) off the shower guest list if you do not know them well.

    It's not your FMIL's place to make decisions about the shower, unless she is hosting. If she complains, your Fi should explain that to her.
                       
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  • laughytaffy106laughytaffy106 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Have you talked to your fiance about it? If he's anything like mine he would say he has no idea about a shower haha. If you're concerned about how your FMIL will take it why don't you have a conversation with her about it? Let her know that you don't want them to feel left out, but you also don't want it to seem like a plea for gifts since you don't know them so well. Maybe she'll appreciate you asking and feel more included. Just a thought!
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited September 2012
    The shower is for the bride's closest friends.  Don't invite FI's relatives you don't know.
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  • geierangeieran
    First Comment
    If your family is hosting a shower in your honor, then I think it should be just the people closest to you. I also think that whoever is hosting should have more say - not your FMIL. It is customary here to invite the MOG anyway, but you are in no way obligated to invite his family. Some friends of mine hosted a shower and told me that they wanted to open it up to both sides, but normally the bride's side throws whatever they want and then groom's side throws whatever they want. The bridal party and mothers are the only ones who are invited to both sides. At least that's how it is around here.  :-)

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