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Chit Chat

Does anyone have one of these?

Deep breath.. mini vent! With Easter yesterday, I had the chance to be around FI family and we had a great day celebrating Easter and catching up. FI has a second cousin, who is closer to age to him that his 1st cousins, that has been DRIVING ME NUTS. She got engaged about a month before we did, she's 18 and marrying someone she's barely known a year and their family has not met. Her life, her choices. But, she cannot handle the fact that someone else is getting married and since we are 10 years older, we are financially able to do things she is not.  List of annoyances

1. She called my engagement ring "gaudy" in front of everyone (a half carrot is gaudy I guess) at the first family event I had it and said she would never want something like mine (her's is very tiny diamond chip with yellow gold and she always jokes that she can cut people with her huge rock) and started the comments as soon as my FI aunt pulled at my hand and started congratulating my FI and I on our engagement. I handled this and said that her ring was pretty and gave her some attention, which seemed to defuse the situation.  I don't really care what she thinks of my ring or what her ring is like, but its was just annoying.

2. Initially, the wedding was scheduled on Christmas Eve and she gave me a to-do list, including making the cake and decorating the hall, without asking what if I was willing to help. I let her know that we had family obligations for my side of the family on that day and while I was willing to drop off a baked good (not an entire cake), I woudln't be able to do what she asked of me. She ignored me after that and her FI ended up changing the date again. She has bad mouthed me to my FMIL, who has put her in her place, but it's not seeming to make a difference.

3. Family members ask me something about the wedding? She butts in and shares why what they are planning is SO much better. When her wedding has been rescheduled 3 times and now is tentatively planned on a destination wedding without any family and she openly told FI and I that we aren't invited.

Now, she had the balls  to say to me in front of all the 2nd cousins  yesterday at Easter (FI has a big famliy and we aren't able to invite 2nd cousins, just first) , "I'm getting an invite, right?" Luckily, the Easter egg hunt provided distraction, but later on she approached me again and demanded to know if she was getting an invitation. My FMIL stepped in and backed me up when I said that we weren't able to include 2nd cousins due to the venue and budget constraints. She threw an absolute fit and started yelling at me for keeping her cousin away from her and that my FI could do so much better than me. I calmly told her that she needed to back off and mind her own business before I got back to helping the kids with their Easter egg hung.

I stood my ground, but this B is crazy!!!! And, FI used to be closer to her, and tried to tell me that she's not normally like this, the wedding has not been good for her mental state. End vent. Biatches be crazy...

Re: Does anyone have one of these?

  • Well she sounds like a peach :)

  • Wow!!! My mouth dropped by the end of your post! Good for you for remaining calm because I don't think I would have been able to do so. Her age is definitely shining through and it is great that you're being the adult here and I am glad that you have the support that you do in this situation.
  • Honestly, I would tell FI not to leave you alone with her and that he needs to deal with her bad attitude, not you.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • I'm very sorry you're having to deal with someone like her. What a nightmare.

    Ditto Redhead, don't be alone with her anymore.
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  • holy cow...kudos to you tho for staying calm, your a better woman than i lol
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  • edited April 2012
    Wow the nerve of some people. I can only hope that as she ages, maturity will come along with it, but there is no guarantee for it. You are handling it very well as I know some people, probably including myself, who would have definitely needed every bit of resolve to keep her head facing the right way.

    I wish you luck and some extra sanity and hope you don't have to experience too much of her.
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  • Dear 18 year olds:
    You can blame this person for the reason people are skeptical of your engagement.
  • In Response to Re:Does anyone have one of these?:[QUOTE]Dear 18 year olds:You can blame this person for the reason people are skeptical of your engagement. Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]


    Well said!
  • graci67graci67 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_does-anyone-have-one-of-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:419ede65-dbeb-43f4-904e-500e2c9dd589Post:2b46af13-0986-4bdd-beb0-57c7fcd332ae">Re: Does anyone have one of these?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear 18 year olds: You can blame this person for the reason people are skeptical of your engagement.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    haha omg thats true! I wouldnt invite her. shes just going to start drama at your nwedding and ruin your day. kudos to you for being calm and collected!
  • DanieKADanieKA member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited April 2012
    She sounds immature. I'd avoid her in the future and let her comments roll off your back. Like you said, she's 18 and making poor life choices already. Aside from being annoying, you shouldn't really take anything she says to heart. She has next to no life experience, she sounds like a nut, and she's really not a part of your daily life so no need for huge drama over this at this point. As long as your FI realizes how immature she is (regardless of whether she's the closest cousin or second cousin in age) then you guys can ignore/avoid her together.
  • wow, she sounds like a joy to be around.  I can't believe she has the nerve to brag that she isn't inviting you and then throws a temper tantrum that she's not being invited.  I woiuld try to avoid contact with her until she grows up a little.
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