What is your biggest wedding planning drama?

Bhanu&Anuj · May 2010

Hey girls
Okay I'm curious ...what / who is your biggest wedding drama?
I know wedding planning is supposed to be fun and exciting but I'm SURE there are a few bumps in the road?

For me it's guestlist activities and certain people who have certain expectations about things. They put those expectations on to me or other people helping in the preparation which can be stressful to deal !!!

jnsaini · May 2010

FI's parents, they been so rude to me during the entire process, and have warned him they wont show up to the wedding, not because of me they have issues with their own son that are exaggerated. I get treated so badly by them, recently I called them to tell about the hotel booking for reception, his mom picked up the phone didnt say hi hung it up and turned off the phone. FI called and told her respect my future wife or I wont speak with you guys ever, she called back making a dumb excuse like she couldnt pick up the phone or return my call for two days RIDICULOUS!! ugh makes me mad just thinking about it and trust me it takes a lot to piss me off!

Bhanu&Anuj · May 2010

jnsaini - I'm sorry to hear that

I don't think they should direct any of those feelings towards you in anyway

Bhanu&Anuj · May 2010

Another drama in my wedding planning

Bridesmaid saris....I can't get them in the colour I chose (royal blue) or for a decent price....ughhh!

Each vendor I go with tries to get the job done in india and either it's way over my budget or they dry the sari in the sun after they dye it and it changes the colour!

SonaliPop · May 2010

Nicky, your FMIL is nutty. And you need to stand up for yourself a LITTLE bit. I'm glad your FI is sticking by you...because he sounds like a great guy. I'm just sorry you're having trouble.

If it's any consolation, we support you

jnsaini · May 2010

Thank you Sonali!! I wish I was more stone hearted when it comes to this and not let it effect me..I dont know what is going to happen when the time comes and what mayhem they will create the day of, I told my bridesmaids and his groomsmen if FI's parents sound like they are up to no good, keep them away from me and him that day, I dont want any drama on my big day. Me and my parents (who are totally innocent in this) have endured a lot from them already..(there is a lot to what they have said and done, I rather not think of it)

Hinaj · May 2010

I am sure your FMIL and my FMIL are friends Nicky!! My FI had to do the same thing, I think up till the last two years or so, I think she she is finally realizing that we are not breaking up and planning to get married, even though he has told her she is it so many time.

I remember once she made a comment regarding the house, as to when he buys his house, it should be in her name, so her future daughter in law couldn't throw her out. My FI and I were speechless, once she realized she said that in front of me, she tried to pass it off as a joke, but I say the damage was done. She is in India right now, and we usually don't talk at all, because I don't see the point of trying to befriend her when she has her mind set about me. For some reason, it also pisses her off that he came and visited and stayed with me instead of going to India and no amount of explaining that he is looking for a job and its best that he stays in that states helped, more the fact that he stayed in Chicago with me. It is so bad sometimes, that Fi didn't even tell her that I look after his affairs while he's gone, financially and everything else and that I am his beneficiary and he only did it because I will be future wifey anyways so why change it later on and for the simple reason that I know about his finances.

But believe me if she finds out, it will be crying and accusations. I know I get it that he is your only son but at some point, he is going to be someone's husband and father, so you can't have all his attention.

kavita85 · May 2010

My biggest drama has been with my parents concerning the guest list. A few people have put down more people than were invited, usually their children. They are all my parents' friends; I don't know them. I told my parents they need to call and politely explain we can not accommodate the extra guests, and my parents refused, saying it would be "embarrassing" and would "ruin their relationship."

Finally, I convinced my mom to call a couple who put down their high school aged kids, and when my mom explained the kids were not invited, the person said they weren't sure if they were bringing the kids or not because they didn't know if they could find someone to watch them and if they couldn't, they HAD to bring the kids. My mom couldn't even stand up to her and said ok. So this person RSVP'd for more people than were invited, and wasn't even sure if they were coming in the first place. Ridiculous.

kavita85 · May 2010

Nicky & Hinaj, I'm sorry you are having FMIL problems. My FMIL has been wonderful, but my own parents have been horrible to my FI. I just try and stand up for him and defend him the best I can, and I hope your FI does the same for you!

Hinaj · May 2010

Seriously, I know there is going to be big showdown when the wedding is closer, right now since he is working, and she is not here, there isn't really anything to do. But since FI and I are paying for the wedding, we want it our way and I know she is going to have big problems with that because our styles are so different that I just know that we are going to clash.

One example would be my ceremony dress, usually the groom's side buys the bridal clothes to wear, but since I have a particular design in mind and that is what I want to wear. I know we are going to have many problems to come, since I am planning everything with FI and as long as he is okay with it, that is all I care about. But I just really just want to avoid the whole melodrama that I know she is going to do before, during and after the wedding. But she is going to bring it. What the hell am I suppose to do?

SonaliPop · May 2010

I'm sorry that you guys are having issues with family members. If it helps, you get support here

Chin up, cupcakes!

The MOST important thing in an Indian family in terms of communication is tone, which is something my Mami taught me. And she was right - you can voice your opinions with the right tone and make sure you are not walked all over. Your family members may be a nightmare, but don't have to let them be a part of it. Just remember, they may act horribly, but you have to be married to them TOO for the rest of your life. Even if you're not with them, they'll be around!

I feel like the martinis I constantly suggest are in order today!

raangoli · May 2010

I think my biggest wedding planning drama(s) will be the following:

- Managing the expectations of others. FI and I are simple people, we just want to get married and be surrounded by the family and friends we love.

- Managing the guest list. Much like Kavita, I think I will get back rsvps from people who I did not expect. I tried to build this into the guest list where I could, but I really have tried to put my foot down. Small wedding. 150 MAX. Seriously. I mean it. <trying to add that tone in that Sonali talked about

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- Cost. Kind of tied into the second point, but we want to keep it manageable since we are paying for it ourselves. Thinking about this part makes me nauseous.

HisBelovedOne · May 2010

I'd say the FILs, but they have been a drama all their own since well before we were engaged. The biggest drama was trying with the close friend who is officiating. Rob had been a little involved in helping with writing and organizing the ceremony. Shortly after we had started working on the ceremony and getting him involved, FI and I started fighting over everything. The guest list, the budget, the venue, everything. I told him, screw it, forget it all, let's just elope and be done with it. Well, when FI told Rob this, he freaked out and got so mad he wouldn't talk to either of us for the rest of the day. Little wonder he'd gotten so mad, because he'd been getting involved and really wanted to be a part of such a special and important day for us. We had wanted him involved, but all we could do was fight and it was making me literally sick. At the time we werent thinking about how it would affect him (he was the only one really involved at that point). We just wanted a solution to the arguing and the easiest solution seemed to be eloping.

We talked it all through and opted for a smaller wedding that was more manageable at a location we both liked with people we wanted there. We patched things up with the friend and there haven't been any major bumps since. Mostly with saving the funds for it, but otherwise we've been fine.

Bhanu&Anuj · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_biggest-wedding-planning-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:6babac5c-35f6-41f8-b94f-4c033834b833Post:13e83923-385b-4d40-a2a3-cc8092f1203c">Re: What is your biggest wedding planning drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]
The MOST important thing in an Indian family in terms of communication is tone
Posted by SonaliPop[/QUOTE]

Very good advice...I second that

Jeff and Deepthi · May 2010

Wow girls, I'm so sorry you have to deal with those kinds of issues with the in-laws. I don't think I could handle that. I don't know what it is about them and their kid getting married that trips them out like that.

Our biggest dramas as most of you have said, Is guest list, budget and expectations. Jeff and I fight about this stuff all the time. It's annoying I told him we can't talk about it til we have things set in stone with our parents first. This whole thing is a headache.. why do so many people go through it?? Just do a small church ceremony and be done.. I would love that.

SonaliPop · May 2010

I hope you guys are heading towards smoother sailing where your wedding drama is concerned

It's a beautiful day out here.

I'm sad, by the time it comes to my actual wedding planning, you girls will be off the board

Who will help me with my drama? The Chit Chat board? The Snarky Brides board?

HisBelovedOne · May 2010

Oh, I'm sure some of us will still be around! This seems to be one of the closest boards - I'm sure we won't all just disappear at once. Besides, my wedding isn't for a year and almost a half. I'm here for a while:)

mrs.khan · May 2010

I'm sorry so many are facing difficulty with the in-laws. That is just hard every way you look at it. I hope things get better. People are usually the craziest around weddings, births, and deaths, so hopefully after the wedding, people will stop bring drama into your lives.

Our biggest drama is FI's visa. Arrrrg. We have been engaged for 2.5 years and have spent all of these 2.5 years, except for 4 glorious weeks, apart. It is so frustrating. Hopefully we will have it soon.

What is your biggest wedding planning drama?

Re: What is your biggest wedding planning drama?

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