Registry and Gift Forum

Include Daughter in Sand Ceremony?

I have a daughter from a previous relationship, she will have just turned 4 years old at the time of our wedding.  I really want to include her in the ceremony in some way.  I like the idea of having her do the sand ceremony with us.  Would that be tacky? or is there another way to include her?

Re: Include Daughter in Sand Ceremony?

  • I think you may have posted this on the wrong board.   Try "Ceremony Ideas", "Customs and Traditions" or even "Second Weddings."

    Personally, I don't think it's proper to ask children to make any kind of promisese or vows about blending families.  They didn't make the decision to get married, and shoudln't be asked to promise to accept someone new into their family or love someone unconditionally.   I feel like the sand ceremony is symbolic of making such a promise, and is inappropriate for kids.   However, I know that a lot of people disagree with me and woudln't find it tacky or inappropriate at all.

    Having your daughter present at your wedding  IS "including" her.   
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  • SCogs18SCogs18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs on this topic.  When my FI was 11 he was charged with the responsibility of  "giving permission" to his dad and step-mom to marry....in the church...in front of everyone.  Needless to say, it was a lot of pressure and he froze and later someone commented that he "ruined the wedding."  He is 24 years old and still remembers it and still feels guilty.  Don't put unnecessary pressure on your daughter.  It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it probably is to her.

    I would have your daughter as the adorable little flower girl I know she would be and then let her sit in the front row with her grandparents.  If you really want to include her she could walk back down the aisle with you and your new husband, so you can walk as a new family.

    EDIT: However, if you really want to include her, I don't think it would be considered tacky.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers

    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
  • Thank you all for your comments and suggestions!
  • And I am sorry about posting on the wrong board...just noticed the different boards!
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