Garter Toss Alternatives

ansanna · October 2012

Help! I'm so torn by this! I do want to include the Bouquet Toss and the Garter Removal, however I don't want to include the Garter Replacement..... And, I'm extremely weirded out about having men want my garter to keep..... however if there was an incentive it would be less creepy... The reason I do not want to include the garter replacement is because the only single guests I will have will be children under the age of 18. I have a plan for the bouquet toss that I am keeping a secret from everyone but my mother. Which is a break away bouquet. I will have all girls/women, young and old, called to the dance floor. My florist is going to make a bouquet of carnations, so that there is one for every girl/woman, it will be tied together with ribbon, then when I go to toss it, I will untie the ribbon and flowers will go flying everywhere. For the garter, I originally had the plan of including a gift card with garter to Red Lobster. But when I mentioned this to my florist/decorator, she had suggested a 50/50 raffle which one of her brides did at her wedding, they even used personalized tickets. I thought that would a great idea and our half of the proceeds could go towards our honeymoon as we are not going to be able to afford both a wedding and a honeymoon immediately following. Our plan was to start saving after the wedding and to take a honeymoon in the fall. Then, I decided to look up if anyone else did this for their wedding and found a ton of sites putting down the idea saying that it isn't polite. Seeing those posts, I do not want to offend anyone, so I'm changing it. But, what to change it to? I have no ideas... and the gift card was nice but then I thought about it, I want boys/men of all ages to be able to participate since girls/women of all ages are participating in the bouquet toss.. and a gift card to red lobster wouldn't be very enticing to a child.... Any ideas, PLEASE!

beckyh77 · October 2012

I'm no help since we are doing neither. Are you doing a dollar dance?

ansanna · October 2012

Yes we are it's a local tradition.

SRRL18 · October 2012

Put the garter on a football to catch it?

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

I've never been to a wedding where there has been a garter replacement and that's about 50 weddings in my 27 years. I'm sure it's a regional thing. You don't have to do it. No one will miss it. What you read was correct. A 50/50 raffle would be very rude. While you may not see it this way, many will take it as charging your guests at your wedding. It's the same reason a cash bar is incredibly rude. How about you attach cash to the garter and as a previous poster said, wrap it around a football? Instead of having little girls and little boys involved with either toss, have a little kid toss where you toss a teddy bear for all kids below a certain age. For the flower toss, attach little ribbon tags to each that say something fun: You will marry a millionaire, next to marry, you will marry a younger man. Since you'll have married women included, think of some things that might include them unless you just keep both adult tosses for singles, then award a little bouquet to the lady who has been married the longest and a gift card to the man who has been married the longest? Just some ideas. Run with it. I'm not touching the dollar dance..

ansanna · October 2012

First, my guest list is very small. So far most of our friends have expressed that they won't be bringing their children, however if a good number do attend I may do a candy toss, but for now I feel my activity table is sufficient. Yes I agree that I do not want to have the garter placed on another woman's leg, hense the reason I am trying to find an alternative. But I still want the garter removed and it would be quite stupid to have him remove it if nothing happens after that which is why I am trying to find an alternative. Absolutely NONE of our guests are single except for those under 18 years of age, so I refuse to do the garter replacement. I agree, that after reading people's views on the raffle idea that it is rude otherwise I wouldn't be looking for another idea. You don't have to touch the bridal dance, as we call it in western pa, because it is a local tradition and every wedding I've ever been to since I was a flower girl at 4 years old has had it. It is something that is expected and no one views it as rude, I assure you. When I tell people that we are not having a "bridal party dance" they think I'm talking about the "bridal dance" and I've actually had multiple people flip out saying I must do a "bridal dance" that it is tradition. People spend days finding ways to fold their dollars the tightest just for the dance. I could understand if it were in an area that it is nontraditional, however it is expected, if not required, in a western pa wedding. but back to the garter, I didn't think about tying money to it. I guess that would work.. If anyone else has any ideas about the toss, please share.

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

We are all friends here on this board. That's not the case on many others, but here it is. I wasn't trying to be rude to you. You asked for different ideas and I gave you several.

rswans · October 2012

I've been to weddings where they just skipped the replacement, but didn't do anything in it's place (which I think is what I'll do) and one where they started the next slow dance together.

beckyh77 · October 2012

When I was first married 13 years ago, the winner of the bouquet & garter tosses had to dance together. The DJ made it fun and played the song "Put Your Head On My Shoulder". It turned out to be our best man and a girl I worked with and they had fun.

ansanna · October 2012

I'm sorry, as I'm sure you know it is hard to tell how someone means something by only reading it. But I got defensive because I know that the bridal dance is frowned upon in most areas, but here, locally, it is something that everyone looks forward to and it is expected as much as the first dance, cake cutting, etc is. So I was trying to defend the local tradition, as I didn't want people to start calling it rude as well, if I thought it would be rude I'd also remove it from our plans, the last thing I want to do is offend people. And thank you for your ideas, I'm just trying to get a bunch of them to decide which I prefer best. But so far I'm leaning towards just tying money to it, not so sure about the football though.

ansanna · October 2012

In Response to Re:Garter Toss Alternatives:[QUOTE]When I was first married 13 years ago, the winner of the bouquet amp; garter tosses had to dance together. The DJ made it fun and played the song quot;Put Your Head On My Shoulderquot;. It turned out to be our best man and a girl I worked with and they had fun. Posted by beckyh77[/QUOTE]

Sounds like a nice idea but won't fit into our wedding.. since all of our guests are married or are children, as well as all if the bridal party, I would not do this. This is why we are not having a bridal party dance because I hate the idea of making people who don't know each other dance together, especially when they are married. The other problem would be that the children are participating and I don't feel that is appropriate either.. But thank you

rswans · October 2012

<div>I totally understand. My FI is from western PA and his mom is NOT happy that we're skipping the dollar dance since it's tradition around there and with his family. However, we're getting married in Buffalo and with my family there and friends from all around, it isn't tradition, so they'd be really confused (as I was when they had it at my FI's cousin's wedding). My FI didn't really care either way, but he supported me when talking to his mom.</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_garter-toss-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:9b5b923a-28d8-43bf-b5d9-9f6109a73d4dPost:86e4b913-b1db-476f-9846-40e4aa7d66b2">Re:Garter Toss Alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, as I'm sure you know it is hard to tell how someone means something by only reading it. But I got defensive because I know that the bridal dance is frowned upon in most areas, but here, locally, it is something that everyone looks forward to and it is expected as much as the first dance, cake cutting, etc is. So I was trying to defend the local tradition, as I didn't want people to start calling it rude as well, if I thought it would be rude I'd also remove it from our plans, the last thing I want to do is offend people. And thank you for your ideas, I'm just trying to get a bunch of them to decide which I prefer best. But so far I'm leaning towards just tying money to it, not so sure about the football though.
Posted by Wynter010Beauty[/QUOTE]

bburkel · October 2012

Something that is big around here is auctioning off the garter, instead of tossing it. I've seen them go for upwards of $600-800. People tend to have fun with it, but it gets confusing unless you have a really good auctioneer.

Personally, we are just going to do the garter toss. My FI caught it at his cousin's wedding and it was a lot of fun. We'll do the whole "2 garter" thing. Where he'll take the bottom one off to toss, and I'll keep the top one.

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

In Response to Re:Garter Toss Alternatives:[QUOTE]I'm sorry, as I'm sure you know it is hard to tell how someone means something by only reading it. But I got defensive because I know that the bridal dance is frowned upon in most areas, but here, locally, it is something that everyone looks forward to and it is expected as much as the first dance, cake cutting, etc is. So I was trying to defend the local tradition, as I didn't want people to start calling it rude as well, if I thought it would be rude I'd also remove it from our plans, the last thing I want to do is offend people. And thank you for your ideas, I'm just trying to get a bunch of them to decide which I prefer best. But so far I'm leaning towards just tying money to it, not so sure about the football though. Posted by Wynter010Beauty[/QUOTE]

No worries. I apologize my post came off as being snarky. You're right that it's hard to tell tone through reading. It was not my intent. The dollar dance is regional and if it's accepted in your social circle, then good deal.

I wouldn't put the garter around a football either, unless you are outside. How many folks will be at your wedding? I've heard if cookie tables in PA, are you doing one of those?

ansanna · October 2012

No hard feelings, Yes definitely having a cookie table! I already have all of the varieties picked out! We are going with 11 different varieties of cookies and to mix it up, 6 different varieties of truffles! I can't wait to start baking them! Our guest list is at 114, that includes us, the bridal party, the vendors such as DJ, photographer, hair stylists, etc, and children.

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

Nice! I only heard of cookie tables since coming to the knot boards. I heard of it in the etiquette forum. It sounds like a smashing hit to me!

ansanna · October 2012

Nothing is better than stuffing your face with homemade cookies BEFORE dinner!!

keystoneXOXO · October 2012

I live in Pittsburgh. I find the dollar dance rude and boring every time I see it. My FI's grandmother tried to press me into having one, and I (politely) just put my foot down and told her that I don't want my guests to have to open their wallets at my wedding, for anything. She insisted it was tradition, but to me, that is no excuse.

Sorry, just letting you know, that although it's a regional thing - some people in the region aren't a fan of it either. None of your guests will tell you that to your face though.

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