tired and grumpy

Re: tired and grumpy

• GJones27 member

  

  July 2012

  I think we all go through it and you have to try different responses to see what is the best reaction. I have to give my husband alone time. My husband can warm my heart by doing this cute impression of scared dog that has been hit after I get crabby. Also, try to make clear that while you will be nice with the occasional meanness, you won't always tolerate it so nicely. You don't want him to get used to treating you that way. Maybe he just needs some alone time when he is tired. Try to figure out those needs and respect that. I know I get crabby when I don't get me time.

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• sessionswedding member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I usually ask him why he's grumpy.  If it's something that can be fixed (like a headache) I try to help (like giving him ibuprofen).  Otherwise I just give him some space.  If it goes on too terribly long I'll try to talk with him about it.  I catch myself getting snippy back sometimes, but I try not to.

  
  
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• jenningz

  

  July 2012

  If he's grumpy, I'll usually push him till he pops. I know that sounds really bad, but sometimes its the only way I can get him to tell me the real problem. He's getting better now, but he does have a temper.

  

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• ochemjenn member

  

  July 2012

  My husband needs his alone time.  I understand that because I need alone time too.  However, it bothers me when he gets home and doesn't spend any time with me.  We talked about it, and he's been to therapy (for a variety of things).  He's learned in therapy that even when he's tired when he gets home from work, his family expects to spend time with him.  So he's learned that I'm happier if he spends 20 minutes with me before he has his alone time.
  
  I usually leave him alone when he's grumpy, but occassionally I'll press if I think he really needs to talk.  The key then is really letting him talk it all out before I say much.
  
  It also helps me to be aware of when he'll be grumpy.  That way I'm prepared when he wants alone time so I have a book I want to read or something like that.  DH has been on edge waiting for the results of a test he took.  I've made sure to give him extra space, make foods he really likes, etc.

  

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• mrandmrsbrist member

  

  July 2012

  This was so hard for us during wedding planning. I don't know about you, but for me I was really stressed out about everything coming together and getting done and such and so that stress was coloring everything from the way I read H (then FI) to the way I reacted to him. It caused a lot of little fights, but luckily H is someone who just kind of rolls with whatever is going on and doesn't let things bother him. He also asks what's wrong/what my issue is/etc if he feels like there's something wrong. I've learned to do the same thing. What's the worst thing that could happen? Either there's something wrong and then you can talk about it or there isn't anything wrong and then you feel better about the whole thing!

  
  
  
  2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books
  

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• mrandmrsbrist member

  

  July 2012

  Oh also, now that I'm pregnant I am grumpy as all get out. Getting out of the house and going for a walk seems to really help me feel better when I get back

  
  
  
  2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books
  

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• yodacub member

  

  July 2012

  My H gets grumpy occasionally - usually when he's had a long day.  He's gotten much better at knowing that he needs to use his drive home to let go of work.  Sometimes he needs alone time, other times he needs to cuddle up with me rubbing his head to relax.  I usually flat out ask him what he needs, because I'm terrible at guessing.

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