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May 2012 Weddings

Really, FI? What do I do now...

So a couple months back FI and I were discussing what to do about our coworkers.  He works at one office with 6 other employees, and I work at 2 offices with about 12 employees each.  With that small of an office, I really don't believe you can pick and choose who you invite without stepping on a lot of toes - I think it has to be all or none.

So, we're talking about 50 extra people here by the time we figure in dates.  Since our guest list is at 209 without them, and we are really aiming for 150, we opted to not invite any coworkers.

FI had brought up the idea of just inviting them after the dinner to the reception part.  I told him no, as it is generally thought of as rude as you ladies probably all know already.  I thought it was a done deal, we were going to invite them 100% or we weren't, and we had decided we weren't.

Well fast forward to last night - FI has apparently told his office that they could all come after the dinner.  To my obvious rage.  Not only is it rude IMO, but now what do I tell my coworkers?  Obviously I'd like to invite them as well, but we had decided not to - now FI's gets to come, and mine don't?  Plus, all the bosses from the 3 offices are going to be there, so they'll probably notice that his coworkers were invited but none of their employees were.

Anyways, what do I do at this point?  FI didn't give them any physical invites or anything (we don't even have enough, even if we wanted to!).  I was hoping that maybe they'd forget about the verbal invite, but obviously that's probably not going to happen....

SO ticked off at FI right now about this.
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Re: Really, FI? What do I do now...

  • Uh oh...trouble.  Mine did this too.  I ended up just asking him to get their addresses and invited them.  I know it sucks to have so many people, but we didn't want to tick anyone off.  Once the situation was created, that was really the only "right/fair" way I could think of to fix it. 


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  • Ahh I would be so livid if my FI told me this! I would say have him explain he was mistaken and they can't come but because they are co-workers that kind of makes things more complicated... I think at this point you just have to invite all of them, at least from his work... 

    I don't think it would be a big deal to invite some co-workers and not all... you said all of these people would add up to 50. To me that is a lot of people so it seems they would understand that you couldn't invite everyone. I would just invite those you are friends with from your work...

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_really-fi-what-do-i-do-now-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:a0e49543-3e57-447a-bdfb-e6f7e7746d05Post:25df098d-5d6e-42a4-b6d5-c664a99b7a38">Re: Really, FI? What do I do now...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ahh I would be so livid if my FI told me this! I would say have him explain he was mistaken and they can't come but because they are co-workers that kind of makes things more complicated... <strong>I think at this point you just have to invite all of them, at least from his work...  I don't think it would be a big deal to invite some co-workers and not all... you said all of these people would add up to 50. To me that is a lot of people so it seems they would understand that you couldn't invite everyone. I would just invite those you are friends with from your work...</strong>
    Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

    I agree. People should understand that because of budget concerns, you can't invite everyone. But his coworkers do need to be invited to the whole thing.  I'm not sure what to do about the invitations since you don't have any more though... Going through the process of making those again sounds not so fun, but they need the information :/

    Something I've noticed with (some) guys - their concept of "etiquette" is just... off lol. My FI has suggested some things during the wedding planning that made me go "Really, boo? No. That's not ok". I would be livid in this situation also; this puts you in a difficult position. I'm sure you'll figure something out.
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  • I would be so livid with him. I honestly don't know what I would do. I think I'd probably have to suck it up and invite them for dinner. As for your co-workers, I'm lost. I'm sorry.
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