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May 2013 Weddings

An ethical question about registering...

A co-worker wants to throw me a bridal shower. I told her that since this is my 2nd time getting married I didn't think it was appropriate to have a shower. She said, "of course it is!"

Then that leads me to the question about registering. My fiance and I have been living together for over a year. I bought a house this year. Would you consider it appropriate to still register? Would you sideeye someone in my situation who did register? Would you register and not mention anything unless someone asks? I know there are some people who would rather give a gift opposed to money.

I honestly had not even thought about registering until my co-worker asked and now I have no idea what to do.
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Re: An ethical question about registering...

  • I wouldn't side eye a couple who registered if they lived together. I don't think anyone ever ask if you live together do they?
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  • Wedding ethics are so subjective now. And I am definitely registering even though we are living together. The only reason we are not having a shower is because I don't enjoy them, not because it "isnt appropriate." If you have people who want to throw you one and you are okay with it, go for it!
    If you aren't comfortable or don't want the hassle just politely thank your friend.
    IF you keep getting asked, then a small registry would be prudent.

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  • I don't see anything wrong with registering, even if it is your second time around. FI and I live together too so our registries aren't large, just stuff we want to upgrade or don't already have.
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  • yes, register. have a shower. enjoy yourself. You might have been married once before, but this is an entirely new celebration :)
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  • I don't see anything wrong with doing a registry. This is a different marriage, why not celebrate this one too? Smile
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_an-ethical-question-about-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:e119b3ae-09c7-4f83-970d-6892bd0a6ba9Post:3869d9be-56f6-415c-beb3-2976388a9583">Re: An ethical question about registering...</a>:
    [QUOTE]yes, register. have a shower. enjoy yourself. You might have been married once before, but this is an entirely new celebration :)
    Posted by PJBHL5[/QUOTE]

    Sounds good to me! LOL. I was just worried that it would come across as me "expecting something from someone" when that's not the case at all. I think we'll do a small and simple registry.
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  • Completely appropriate. You are still starting a new life together, regardless of cohabitation or second marriage. Even if items are just upgrades, the symbolism of getting someone a gift for a new life is something I could never side eye :)
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  • FI and I are buying a house now and will live together and everyone keeps telling me to registar. We have hand me down stuff and stuff from college so we need to new stuff. Enjoy the celebration!
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  • We have been living together for 2 years and we registered. Pretty much all of our stuff is hand me downs and really old so we registered for a lot of stuff we want upgraded (towels, bedding, kitchen gadgets we don't have, cookware etc). We did register for a lot of stuff, but majority of it is "little" stuff and we don't expect to get all of it.
  • We have lived together for 2 years and we plan on registering. I don't see anything wrong with it :-)
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