Dancing???

mlangston07 · March 2012

I have a problem... the grooms whole family and the groom are against having dancing at the recetion except the first dance and the father daughter mother son dances...

what should i do??

I like dancing...

i'm torn.. HELP

toothpastechica · March 2012

you talk to your fiance, and find a compromise, there is no rule that you have to have dancing at a wedding, but I can see being disappointed if there isnt. Because of family dynamics at our wedding we have chosen to have no dancing, but have come up with some creative things to do at the reception instead (having crayons, markers, and paper on the tables and asking people to 'illustrate' a page for the guest book, having 3 pinatas over the course of the night...etc). The reception will tend to end earlier if ther isnt dancing. You could also leave dancing till the end (most people do) so anyone who doesnt want to stay for it doesnt have to, but dont be offended if loads of people end up leaving, just party it up with whoever wants to stick around for the dance portion. However, this is really somethign you need to talk to your FI about....because there is not a right or wrong answer, but its both of your's day, its not fair to put either of you in an uncomfortable position (either way), on your own wedding day.

monkeysip · March 2012

I'm wondering why FI and his family are against dancing.

Is it some kind of moral or religious thing? Or do they just not really like dancing?

If it's the former, then I would be more inclined just to respect FI's feelings and have only a little dancing.

If it's the latter, I would talk to FI about some kind of compromise. Like PP said, maybe delay the dancing for while.

Either way, this is the kind of thing that is mostly up to you and FI. I mean, I'm not saying don't consider the family's feelings at all, but I wouldn't completely avoid dancing just because his family doesn't like it.

Gabrielle76 · March 2012

I'm assuming it's not a religious situation, because they're ok with the mother/son and father/daughter dance, and first dance.

As a guest, I would find that annoying. I don't have a problem with dance free weddings, but then I think you forgo the family/couple dances as well. It would be like watching the head table have champagne while I got sparkling apple juice.

divinemsbee · March 2012

I went to a wedding that had something like this done. Please, don't do this. It just ends up being kind of uncomfortable and weird, especially if you aren't doing a plated dinner, everyone just kind of stands there and stares. They basically had 3 songs cued up on a CD player, there was no ambient music through the rest of the reception, and they did the dances, and it just felt funny, and looked more than a little out of place.

I'm not having dancing because I can't really afford a DJ or full-on band for 5 or 6 hours, and my reception is going to be more of a cocktail style affair, plus I'll have lots of out of town people who will be leaving just a couple of hours in. We will be having one man with a guitar playing a little bit to provide some ambiance, but that's about it.

HobokensFury · March 2012

Either cut out dancing completely (no dances) or have dance music all night because it seems awkward to just have 3 dances.

pattib5 · March 2012

I agree with the previous posters. Unless your FI and his family object to dancing for religious reasons, I think y'all can find some way to compromise on this. Maybe just start the dancing later than normal. If they're just not into dancing, they don't have to join in.

But if they're really against dancing for religious/moral purposes, I'd just skip the first dance and mother/son, father/daughter dances as well. That would be very awkward.

ElisabethJoanne · March 2012

I went to a wedding that only had the first dances, no general dancing. I think it went off well. It was a mostly stand-up reception, so for the first dances, they cleared a space in the middle of the patio, danced, then we went back to mingling and nibbling.

I was surprised, because the couple had had lots of ballroom dancing dates, and I thought they had friends from those activities (I'm a school friend of the bride and don't know her present friends well.), so I thought dancing would be a priority, but it worked nonetheless.

Ninanita · March 2012

Are you going to have danceable music?

Ninanita · March 2012

because then you should get some of your friends to start the dancing and take it from there.

evanquil · March 2012

Why are they opposed to dancing? That is really the issue. But I agree with PPs that if you don't have dancing for everyone else, then there should be no f/d dance or m/s dance or first dance.

khines18 · March 2012

Have you considered having the traditional reception with food and cake and then moving to a different location for your close friends? Or have an early send off and let those who want to party with you know to hang around. This way, those who want to could dance the night away with you.

We considered this because of the alcohol issue but then decided that those who wanted to enjoy themselves would, and those against it wouldn't. Afterall, this is not everyone else's day - it's your's.

Dancing???

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