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July 2012 Weddings
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RD is out of control...

KatieK501KatieK501 member
First Comment
in July 2012 Weddings
I think we all need WTF Wednesday today.

Our RD is getting a little out of control.  FIL's have reserved a room at a nice restaurant in town and the capacity is 80.  The wedding party is small, so even with everyone's guests/SO and children, that would only be 30 people.  But FIL's want to invite any of their family and friends who will be in town already.  Not exactly what I had in mind, but they're hosting, so I can go with it, and they told me to add a couple of our family friends.  But now, because there will be some extra guests and a couple of people they forgot to add, it's looking like we'll be over capacity. 

Last week, FFIL asked about the font and paper I used on the wedding invitations, so he could match that for RD invitations.  I gave that to him along with 25 extra wedding envelopes I didn't use.  Today FMIL calls to get the addresses for the RD invitations from my side, which is only like 6 invitations, and she asks if it's okay if she just includes my brother on my parents' invitation - my adult brother (older than me), who lives 5 hours away from my parents - because they're "running out of envelopes" - the envelopes I gave them.  I told her I'd buy some more, that no, he needs his own invitation.

I LOVE my FIL's but for some reason that just really bothered me - like she said "we are sending 20 invitations to the people we want, but only have 5 left for your side, so we're just going to combine some of them because we're out of free envelopes!"  I know she wasn't thinking that through and didn't mean it like that, but really?
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Re: RD is out of control...

  • penny12986penny12986 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2012
    Seriously? The RD went from 15 people to more than 80 people? 

    Even if your in-laws don't mean to be disrespectful, they should realize that they are by treating your family like B-listed people.

    It sounds rude and inconsiderate to mail 1 invitation for 3 different families.

    Sorry, I would put my foot down.
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  • lvisserslvissers
    First Anniversary First Comment

    I think FIL's have no idea about wedding planning. I think they get excited that they have one event that can host and go overboard with it. That is really rude about them telling you they dont have enough envelopes for each family and wanted to combine for your side! I'm sorry! Thats' the one thing about RD is that we really don't have a say in it and it's hard to let it just go. I know my FIl's reserved a place, but that's all I've heard about it. They havent discussed who's invted, what the menu is, invitations or word of mouth to invite people or anything!

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  • KatieK501KatieK501 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rd-is-out-of-control?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:e07a76e1-d2cc-4123-b162-f35f1d0cd0f9Post:e8ace5b6-06d3-4436-894b-857dd0791647">Re: RD is out of control...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think FIL's have no idea about wedding planning. <strong>I think they get excited that they have one event that can host and go overboard with it</strong>. That is really rude about them telling you they dont have enough envelopes for each family and wanted to combine for your side! I'm sorry! Thats' the one thing about RD is that we really don't have a say in it and it's hard to let it just go. I know my FIl's reserved a place, but that's all I've heard about it. They havent discussed who's invted, what the menu is, invitations or word of mouth to invite people or anything!
    Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]

    I think you're exactly right.  My FIL's have three sons - the two oldest have both been married for years, and I'm marrying the youngest.  FIL's didn't have much to do with the first two weddings - even though they wanted to be involved.  Both of those wedding's took place in other states, so they really didn't do much more than pay for the RD.  We live in the same town, so I've really kept them in the loop on everything, and I know they're really enjoying that.  I don't even mind so much that they want to get all the family together at the RD (although my dream was wearing jeans and eating pizza, not a formal dinner).  I know she didn't intend to be rude, but I just wish she had thought that question through before saying it out loud. 
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  • BrightFireflyBrightFirefly member
    First Comment
    In Response to RD is out of control...:
    [QUOTE Today FMIL calls to get the addresses for the RD invitations from my side, which is only like 6 invitations, and she asks if it's okay if she just includes my brother on my parents' invitation - my adult brother (older than me), who lives 5 hours away from my parents - because they're "running out of envelopes" - the envelopes I gave them.  I told her I'd buy some more, that no, he needs his own invitation. I LOVE my FIL's but for some reason that just really bothered me - like she said "we are sending 20 invitations to the people we want, but only have 5 left for your side, so we're just going to combine some of them because we're out of free envelopes!"  I know she wasn't thinking that through and didn't mean it like that, but really?
    Posted by KatieK501[/QUOTE]

    Yeah - that would have irked the hell outta me too.

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