Anyone done a foot washing instead of unity candle?

SarahBerah · September 2010

I am not the biggest fan of unity candles, so I wanted to do something else instead. Something I had come across in my wandering on the internet was doing a foot washing (basis in the Bible and Christ act of service). Has anyone been to a wedding where they did this or planning it for their own? 99.99% of our guests would understand the symbolism so I'm not worried about freaking them out that way but would it be weird to you as a guest? If you are doing it/have seen it, did they do a reading or anything? I think this could be a super cool symbolic act but I'm not sure how to go about it. Thanks for any help!

bethsmiles · September 2010

I think it would be uncomfortable and a hassle to do in wedding attire but if you are fine with it then go for it.

trix1223 · September 2010

I understand the symbolism of it. Really I do~I work in a church.

But this is one of those things that, IMO, sounds much better on paper than IRL. You're in the fancy white dress. He's in the tux. You need to, as stage said, think about removing shoes and socks. Getting under the dress. Basin of water. Towels.

I'm trying to picture the bride, kneeling on the floor in her dress, and hoping beyond measure not to splash water on the dress.....the tux.

Then there's the putting back on the shoes and/or socks thing. That's one of those parts of dressing that simply can't be accomplished gracefully or elegantly. There's just no way.

I'd just skip a separate unity "thing" altogether. Again, just my opinion, but a wedding ceremony IS, by definition, a unity ceremony. My DD didn't have a unity anything. They had a beautiful ceremony, and no one left it saying "Wait! They didn't mix anything together. Are you sure they're actually married?"

lalap69 · September 2010

I can understand wanting to eliminate the unity candle, but do you really need to replace it with anything? I got the symbolism immediately, but it still seems kind of weird to me. I think that as a guest, I'd be probably be a little uncomfortable. I also worry about the logistics because of the formal wear.

belletop · September 2010

I've also heard of some kind of sand ceremony you can do - don't really know anything further about it. We aren't doing any unity candle or sand or foot washing

just a simple ceremony

AbbeyS2011 · September 2010

IMO, a foot washing is a beautiful ceremony, but out of place in a wedding. I think it might make some guests uncomfortable even if they do understand it.

I am not doing a unity candle or a sand ceremony. Instead we will have a poem reading and perhaps a soloist sing. I think that will be meaningful enough.

rachelea · September 2010

A woman I used to work for told me how, as a gift to her husband, she washed his feet on their wedding night. It was a private moment for them sharing something that I think is more of a private thing.

sd1272 · September 2010

If you really want to do this....

maybe you could work it into th reception? Like before the garter, and the tossing of the boquet. You woud already be seated for the garter thing.

I really loved the idea, and I completly understand its significance, but it seems like it would be complicated to work into the ceremony.

EJCart · September 2010

I've seen it at several weddings and it's lovely . . . just keep it short (no need to scrub each others feet!) and have some music playing.

surf&turfcouple · September 2010

I understand the symbolism of the feet washing ceremony but, I think it is also very very intimate, in a way. IMO, it isn't something you show to all your guests. Mary M. washed Jesus' feet privately, without a thought that the disciples might be watching. I'd say, save this ceremony for the wedding night, in private. Your husband will still appreciate the meaning!

Alternative: I was recently at a wedding where the bride and groom had a unity sand ceremony; it was beautiful! Consider it! www.weddingsandceremony.com/

erollis · September 2010

I have never seen it at a wedding. I have been to a couple of Catholic services where it was specifically about the foot washing ceremony. It was very nice both times.

8daysaweek · September 2010

I have seen it done but it wasn't explained very well and it was confusing.
I think it is gross but I have a thing about feet. I guess personally I prefer something a bit less literal than a foot washing like the sand or unity candle ceremony. Although really I don't understand those either. You're already getting married for goodness sake - I don't really understand the need to embellish on that.

goetzr19 · September 2010

Have you tried looking at a God's Knot? You order it online, and it has a purple, yellow and white rope. The Groom holds a brass ring that is attached to the ropes, and the Bride ties them. Something unique.

HaileyBirdsall · September 2010

It was in my "dream" wedding to do this but in real life it is kind of akward!! We are planning to do this on the first night of our honeymoon.

jerseydevil · September 2010

Personally, I would find it uncomfortable as a guest. I've seen it in Catholic churches and was uncomfortable with that - I totally have a foot thing. I personally don't understand the need for that, but it's your day so if it means something to you and your sweetie and won't alienate your guests, then go for it.

lexa10 · September 2010

I'm not sure if you have thought of this, or even follow this practice, but maybe Communion is an option. I haven't been to a wedding where is was done, but i have seen pictures, and it looked precious in the pictures. THey shared the 'juice' or 'wine' and the bread!

Anyone done a foot washing instead of unity candle?

Re: Anyone done a foot washing instead of unity candle?

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