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Am I being a Bridezilla?

RamaOtsterRamaOtster member
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in Pre-wedding Parties

Sorry this is so long.

My sister, whom I love dearly, is my MOH and she is planning the batchelorette party. FI and I are in the middle of putting an addition on our house AND planning the wedding so I can't commit to being away for a whole weekend, and she knows this. I suggested that rather than a whole weekend thing we go for dinner and have a campfire or do a movie night and she got SO upset about it and cried so I just dropped the issue. 

About a week ago I asked her to give me a hint of what she had decided to do and she called me to let me know that she had booked a hotel in Toronto (3 hours from my home) and was thinking of having a Drag-Queen show. (???) I told her that Toronto was a little out of the way, considering that she doesn't have a licence and I would have to drive, and almost everyone who is invited is at least 1 hour and most 2 - 3 hours from Toronto. I also asked her not to do the drag-queen thing as it is just not something I would want to do.

She threw a fit about how she already booked the hotel room and that it was just too bad and I don't get any say in the party I am just supposed to show up. And then she cried some more so I just gave up on it.

SO not only am I going to end up doing something that makes me uncomfortable but I will also end up being away for a whole weekend (a long weekend no less) when I should really be helping with the addition.

Am I being too controlling by trying to have her take my opinion into account in planning this? I just keep thinking that it's supposed to be a party FOR me so why shouldn't it be something I enjoy? A lot of the other girls can't come and are now trying to plan a second secret party, which is secret from my sister not me. It just seems stupid.

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Re: Am I being a Bridezilla?

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    lilianne22lilianne22 member
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    edited December 2011

    I don't think you are being Bridezilla, you told her you couldn't do a b party that was out of town and gave her alternative ideas but she didn't listen.  You don't have to go to her b party if it really is inconvenient for you, but if you go to the secret party behind her back that would be inappropriate.  Sounds like you need to have another conversation with your sister and explain your situation.  Let her know that unless she plans something in your area you won't be able to attend. 

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    ManwaithielManwaithiel member
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    edited December 2011
    I know in another thread you said you felt bad, but it's not like you're demanding top shelf champagne and a limo ride. If you're throwing a party for someone, you need to make sure it suits their tastes, and doing a drag show that you clearly are completely uninterested in is just her excuse to throw a party she wants to have.

    Also, since you already said you couldn't do a whole weekend thing, that is really rude on HER part. You're not supposed to just drop everything and run off for awhile, especially if you are putting an addition on your house!! That is some crazy work and as a daughter of a couple weekend warriors, I feel your pain.

    She can definitely cancel her reservation, she needs to stop crying and be a little more considerate. It IS her call on the B-party but basically taking any consideration for you out of it is really selfish on her part.

    Try talking to her about how you can't commit to the party she's throwing and suggest a less time consuming one and say you're really not okay with a drag show. If she throws another fit, just don't go and say "Well, you enjoy the party, but don't consider it a bacheolerette for me," and then just don't have one. It sucks because b-parties are usually fun and people look forward to having them, but if she's this dead set on doing something you clearly can't and don't want to do, then just let her have her party and hopefully she'll see reason eventually.
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
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    edited December 2011
    You're definitely not being a bridezilla! The bachelorette should be in celebration of you, and if what they're planning is something that makes you uncomfortable then they should be changing plans. As long as you're not demanding anything or planning it yourself you are by no means being a bridezilla. I hope everything works out and you guys can do something more your style.
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    RamaOtsterRamaOtster member
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    edited December 2011
    This makes me feel so much better!

    I was really starting to think that I was being unreasonable...will try to talk to her soon and get it straightened out! Hopefully she will not take it the wrong way :)

    Thanks everyone!
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    jessshireyjessshirey member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think your being a bridezilla. To me it sounds like she's throwing the party more for herself and not you. There should be plently of time for her to cancel. Tell her what you want to do and she'll have to live with it
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