Bride's family giving presents to Groom's family

Priya490 · March 2011

So my dad was telling me that it is tradition for the bride's family to give presents to everyone in the groom's side of the family. He said typically we have to give saris to all of the ladies and he wasn't sure what to give to the men. I was wondering if any of you gave presents to your groom's side of the family and what did you give? My fiance has so many aunts and uncles and I'm not really sure if we really have to give presents to the extended family, in addition to his immediate family. And then what about the cousins and if they have kids? Also, if you gave saris, how did you get everyone's measurements? Sorry for so many questions but this is the first time I've heard about this tradition. Thanks!

temurlang · March 2011

Obviously my parents didn't give saris, but when I've seen that done (like MIL gave some to certain relatives who came to one of our receptions), I think the sari and blouse piece are given unstitched. The ones I received for the wedding also were without the fall (I think that's what you call it) put on and the blouses weren't made.

I don't really know who all expects to get gifts. I think some people really go overboard and it becomes a burden. My parents were originally planning on giving gifts to FIL, MIL, SIL, and DH's grandmother. Unfortunately, my parents had some issues with my ILs leading up to the wedding, so that fell through. DH also has A LOT of aunts, uncles, and first cousins. He can't even name them, so I wouldn't expect to get all of them gifts. Your FI might be able to give you an idea of key people (i.e. favorite aunt, etc.).

DFWIndian · March 2011

I don't think I've heard of this either. I know the guy will give it to all the females in his family. If you do give saris just do them unstiched. I get those occassional from people for brithdays and christmas. Uncles normally it's alcohol. That's just something from experience I know it's the easiest thing for us to give or a nice shirt. (but sizes post and issue there)

raangoli · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_brides-family-giving-presents-grooms-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:5b7a635a-d3e5-4c7f-bb34-5a0d555e0303Post:d5fafdbd-9108-4b9b-8569-ab041519a8a2">Re: Bride's family giving presents to Groom's family</a>:
[QUOTE]Obviously my parents didn't give saris, but when I've seen that done (like MIL gave some to certain relatives who came to one of our receptions), <strong>I think the sari and blouse piece are given unstitched. </strong>The ones I received for the wedding also were without the fall (I think that's what you call it) put on and the blouses weren't made. I don't really know who all expects to get gifts. I think some people really go overboard and it becomes a burden. My parents were originally planning on giving gifts to FIL, MIL, SIL, and DH's grandmother. Unfortunately, my parents had some issues with my ILs leading up to the wedding, so that fell through. DH also has A LOT of aunts, uncles, and first cousins. He can't even name them, so I wouldn't expect to get all of them gifts. Your FI might be able to give you an idea of key people (i.e. favorite aunt, etc.).
Posted by temurlang[/QUOTE]

I have heard of the tradition - I thought it was a Gujarati tradition? But my parents bought saris for the females on my dad's side of the family - so my aunts whether they were married into the family or biological. Tem is right that you give the saris and blouse unstiched and without the fall, or at least that is what I have seen and accept as the "norm".

I think your parents will know who should receive the gifts and I'd really default to them anyway since they are the ones who brought it up. They can discuss with your FI's family that it's a tradition they would like to carry out and go from there (at least that is what I have seen happen.)

neetuandsachin · March 2011

I am Punjabi, and we have this tradition as well. Typically, as I understand it, the bride's side gives gifts to immediate relatives of the groom - ie., MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, grandparents, etc. You can make this list as extensive as you wish or restrict it. In our family, it's typically unstitched clothing - saris for the women and kurta pyjamas for the men. For the elderly, we give shawls. If you have to give to a lot of people, esp. women, you may want to consider giving suit sets (ie., salwar kameez sets) or stoles/shawls instead of saris, as they can be less expensive.

sweetiek23 · March 2011

We also have that tradition, although my family is not strict on what to give. On the other hand, my inlaws apparently excpected certain things and amounts which was frustrating because they had never said that. They had always said dont worry about gifts etc., but after our engagement party, they complained to FI about how the gifts werent nice enough etc.GRRRR!

So i would just have your parents talk to his, and get some understanding. I personally thing its just another burden for the bride's side and I hate it! It should be about the two people gettng married and not the gifts. Sorry just had to vent since ths happened recently!

kpwedkk · March 2011

We also have this tradition - we just gave saris for the ladies (MIL, SIL), with unstitched blouses, a pack of bindis, and a matching bangle set with a fake jewelry set to match.... The guys didn't want anything, and they were more than happy that their wives got something.

We also did this for those relatives that came out and helped a lot, about 10 altogether, or so, and they could all pick out which color they liked, we put them in gift bags - that way everyone was happy with their choice... they were simple sarees - georgette with minimal work - more so on the pallu, something that could be worn for temple, or something

For the guy relatives, mostly uncles, they got a bottle of black label Jws from Costco/Sam's which was reasonably priced, and their favorite

britishmi · March 2011

Im Punjabi and my FI is gujurati and we have this tradition also. My mom bought saris (unstitched blouses) and shirts for all of my my future in law's siblings (for his dads siblings and moms siblings and their spouses). Also my mom bought outfits for his "close" cousins.....which i think is going to cause issues when the others find out. My mom is giving his immediate family (mom, dad, sister, brother in law, 2 nieces) outfits and gold jewelery to each person. I think its over kill but my mom feels strongly as we are the girls and it has to be done.

MrsBM · March 2011

Hi
I'm Hindu and the Hubz is Hindu-Punjabi and yes this tradition was discussed at our wedding.

My in laws told my parents NOT to give anything... no saris and no shirts to the extended family...so my parents just gave to the immediate family...my MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL and nephew...I think they even gold set to my MIL. (Not 100% sure ...its all kind of fuzzy right now lol)

Priya490 · March 2011

I feel like it's crazy.. the bride's family is expected to pay for the majority of the wedding AND buy the gooms side of the family gifts! My fiance has a bunch of aunts and uncles so I feel so bad for my dad having to buy all the aunts and uncles and their spounses presents! I was thinking of suggesting to buy presents just for his immediate family - mom, dad, and two sisters, grandmother, and the mom and dad's siblings My dad wants to call his parents and talk about their traditions and expetations but of course they are going to tell him that he doesn't need to buy anything. So I wasn't really sure what is common in the states so thank you for your responses!

Bride's family giving presents to Groom's family

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