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Just Engaged and Proposals

Need Some Engagement Help

I really need some help...

My second cousin announced her engagement in August and today in the mail I received her "save the date" card. She is getting married in June. 

Well, my boyfriend and I had begun discussing marriage in July and we were planning on shopping for and purchasing an engagement ring by Christmas of this year. We were then going to make our engagement official by January.

My question is, is this in bad taste/rude/poor etiquette to announce our engagement? My cousins wedding would involve some of the same people but not all (my uncles/aunts, probably my grandmother if she could make the trip). There is no way whatsoever I would ever dream of taking anything away from her and her future husband. To clarify, this is my second cousin and we are not close. We spent time together when we were little but that's it. Again, a few of the same relatives are involved.

The other thing is that he and I were thinking of setting a wedding date sometime between July and October but a lot depends on both his and my work schedules and when we can get the time off (we are both teachers and the schools would frown upon us being out too much consecutively during academic time). Is this all wrong to be getting engaged and begin planning a wedding when out date could possibly be as early as July? I'm really worried about this because I would think her parents want it to be all about them and no one else. Thanks for the advice!

Re: Need Some Engagement Help

  • You get one day, she gets one day. There is no such thing as stealing someone's thunder.
     
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited November 2012
    What happens if another friend or family member becomes engaged during this time, are you going to wait for their wedding to pass?  If you kept waiting for everyone then you'd probably be waiting for a long time.  You planning your life won't take away from anyone elses.
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  • I agree with the previous posters. Announce your engagement when it happens and plan your wedding for the time that works best for your and your FI's families. If your second cousin (who you say you are not close with) has a problem with this, that's on her.
  • I also agree with PPs.  Go about your life and don't worry about hers!  I mean obviously be happy for her and whatnot, but you certainly don't have to delay *your* plans because your second cousin is getting married too!  And don't stress out about dates and timeline - you're not even engaged yet so no sense putting the cart before the horse.
  • It's definitely not in poor taste, this is where you both are in life and it just happens to be at the same time. Be respectful when it is her time (like showers and the wedding day), and surely she will do the same for you.
  • I had a similar problem. We have two weddings in the family/close friend circle going on next year, one of which also involves a lavish bachelor trip to Europe for all the boys. The earlier part of the summer was a no-go because of my work commitments. We ended up fast tracking our wedding to April so we could stay away from everyone else's weddings and not interfere with my work. I thought I was going crazy trying to find a date that worked and finally came to terms with fast tracking it to this April.

    If you want to have your cousin at your own wedding and be able to go to theirs you should probably stay at least 4-5 weeks away from their date, especially if your wedding is an out of town wedding for everyone else and involves travel. 
  • as long as you are not announcing your anegagement at one of her parties and or wedding you will not be stealing her thunder!  Can't plan around everyone's wedding.  She will get her day, you will get your day.  Yes, its hard if families have multiple weddings to plan around and reality is everyone might not be able to come to both--but people who can will, and people who can't will still be happy for you... and really that could be the case for many people regardless if they are family or not.   All will work out.  My cousin got engaged two months before me, and her wedding is 4 months after mine.  All is fine for us. 
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  • My fiance's sister was proposed to last May and my fiance porposed to me in September. Her wedding date is October 2013 so we decided to wait until May 2014. It has actually been a lot of fun talking about weddings together and sharing advice.
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