Photography/Etiquette Question

mbatzlaff · July 2012

FI and I would like to include something in the ceremony program requesting that guests leave cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony. This is for a number of reasons:

1) annoying cell phone rings that distract everyone within a 5 feet radius
2) we want our guests to be present in the ceremony and not take photos or text
3) our photographer has suggested it as a way to get better photos of us and guests (no photos of cameras or flashes)

I am getting close to printing the programs but it occured to me that this request might be rude. What do you gals think? (I'm afraid to post this on the etiquette board)

lclemence · July 2012

I just read something about this on Offbeat Bride that has some good suggestions for how to word it: http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding-templates.

DeClue82 · July 2012

There are some great suggestions on that link.

bridejl · July 2012

I don't think it's rude to request to turn cell phones off, but I do think it is to request no cameras. IMO, your family and friends are excited for you and want to relish the day. My way of relishing the day and being present at it is by taking photos...if it's not in a photo, I won't remember it. I would be put off if I were a guest at an uplugged wedding. A less invasive option could be requesting no flash. As a guest I personally don't like that either, but it's not as restricting.

But, of course that is just my opinion and you know your friends and family best.

Edit: I just re-read this and realized that it comes of as snippy. Sorry

It's been a long day with frustrating clients and my snippy attitude is toward them, not you, OP

Ajoyd · July 2012

I do not think it is rude to ask guests to turn off cell phones; however I agree with bridejl that it might be rude to ask them not to take photos. I doubt it would compromise the quality of your pro pics to have others taking pictures, I honestly wouldn't worry about it! Most people won't take pics and those who do will probably only take a few.

dawnp917 · July 2012

Most people are smart enough to know to turn off their phones in certain places and at certain events. I don't see the need to tell people to turn off their phones, if it goes off your wedding won't be ruined. In regards to the photography I think that it is rude to tell people they can't take photos. People like to document events and not everybody wants to buy a set of professional photos. Everybody is going to have a different perspective and capture moments you would have otherwise missed. Most professional photographers are used to dealing with guests at weddings. Don't dictate how your guests should behave, let them enjoy the day. If enjoying the day means taking photos let them.

RECNMB · July 2012

I think you have every right to ask for no photogrphy. If you don't memories of YOUR weddings day to want to be hearing camera clicks and seeing flashes all the time, that is totally reasonable and not rude. Especially if you are getting married inside where the clicks will be even more audible and the lights potentially lower.

I think one good way to handle the photography part is to ask for no FLASH photography, as that is the distracting part. By having no flash photography during the ceremony it will allow the professional photographer (who if you are like me, you are no doubt paying $$$) to do his/her job. You don't want you frofessional photos messed up at a cruscial moment because everyone else is taking pictures of you kiss at the same time! Then, if people want to take photos with out the distracing flash they can click away.

Here is a suggestiong:

"Please refrain from taking (flash) photos during the ceremony. Photographs will be availible at (photographer's website) on (date photoagraphy said the website will be up). Thanks."

I have many pastors in my family who have had no-photo ceremonies, so I'm sure you officiant/pastor has had no-photo weddings and may have some good suggestions for how to best handle that without offending anyone.

h1jung · July 2012

I went to a wedding last year where I thought it was handled well.

When the wedding party started lining up and walking down the aisle, everyone would do the typical taking of photos with their camera phones and cameras (myself included). Once everyone was in place, the officiant asked for people to put away their cameras and phones as the bride and groom would like for their guests to fully enjoy the ceremony (or something like that, can't remember exact wording). Then people put away their cameras and phones and the bride and groom had no annoying clicks or anything for the rest of the ceremony.

I liked this because it still allowed people to take photos when they were lining up, but got rid of annoying clicks during the vows.

smilesavy · July 2012

I am going to go against the grain here and say if I went to a wedding where they told me i had to put my phone away and couldn't take any pictures I would be highly annoyed. There is something called common courtsey and I would hope those you invite to your wedding have it and aren't jumping in front of the photographer to take pictures...and do you have a lot of teens coming to your wedding, because most adults understand the concept of not texting during important events. If people don't find your ceremony interesting...then that is on them, but giving them do's and don't for their cells phones seems a little much to me. I don't know I just think wedding and funerals there is an unwritten rules that cell phones shouldn't be used...but maybe that is just my circle.

Lizlangevin · July 2012

Our officiant did tell us he usually prefers people not take pictures during the ceremony because it is a religous ceremony. (for those who are having religous ceremonies)

His opinion was the clicking and flashing can be intrusive and then people are worrying about the pictures and not the actual marriage taking place in front of them.

With that said- we are not prohibiting it, but it did offer a point of view I hadn't previously thought of.

frantastic12 · July 2012

I agree that if you have a professional photographer, other flashes shouldn't be a problem, and it would come off as rude to request it in the program, etc.

But this is what we're doing: our photographer hosts a website for all of our professional pics after the wedding, and we get the full rights. My dad tends to be a little excessive with his camera, so I told him that we spent a lot of money on a good, professional photographer with website hosting so no one else has to be bothered with taking pictures & can enjoy the day. We plan to spread the word via our parents & step-parents that our professional pics will be available to everyone online, in hopes that it will cut down on the number of people taking pictures during the ceremony, and pulling us aside to take pictures afterward. I'm sure it will still happen, but hopefully not as often.

TheShadyYvonne · July 2012

Our officiant will ask people to silece their phones once everyone is seated before the ceremony begins. I kind of get the camera thing..only because i was at a wedding recently in Hawaii...and it's ok when the people in the aisle or the ends take photos...cause they can do it very easily...but at this wedding..there were people in the middle standing up to take photos...obstucting the view to the ceremony for others. That seems rude to me for people to do. You should get there early and sit in the aisle..or end if you're planning on taking photos. Not sit in the middle and then get up during the ceremony.

mbatzlaff · July 2012

Thanks for the input. We have purchased a CD of all wedding pictures (some of which we will likely send to people) and the photographer will have a website where images can be purchased as well. FI has a friend who likely will come (hasn't sent RSVP) who has started his business as a professional photographer and we have some other people coming who are unable to seperate themselves from their phones during most social events. I have no problem with people taking pictures after the ceremony, but I was concerned about people standing in front of the photographer to capture some key moments. Our photographer is a professional and she suggested talking to people about not taking photos but there is no way that we will get in touch with everyone who comes before the wedding.

Here is the script we had written before I created this post:

Today is a day we will cherish forever and we are so happy that you, our nearest and dearest, are here with us. We hope that you can relax, enjoy, and more importantly, be present throughout the celebration. We have hired a photographer that will capture every detail of the wedding ceremony so you don’t have to.

The last thing we want is for us or our guests to be distracted, or for our only images of you to be behind a camera. Our request is that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off as our ceremony unfolds. You are the most important people to have touched our lives, so we want to enjoy our time together as we unite in marriage.

Thank you for respecting our wishes and for being a part of our special day!

[Deleted User] · July 2012

So my church REQUIRES that we tell people not to take pictures- I don't like it, but the reverend says it distracts from the ceremony (which I can understand), and that it keeps everybody 'present'. We're not putting a blurb in the program, though, she's making a little announcement before the ceremony starts, because she can word it better (she's quite eloquent, she said something like "Please be present with us in God's house for this joyous occasion, and as such put your cameras away"... but better).

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