HELP! Budget is gone

mfeo24 · December 2011

Hi all and welcome back from the holidays! (or should I say, I hope you're enjoying your days off!)

Since we initially envisioned our wedding our budget has drastically shrunk and now we're at a standstill. From a previous posting you'll see we had chosen Cocos Hotel, but even if we cut back from about 7 nights to 4, the cost is around $8k. But we're trying to pay off debt, and start a family asap, and while we could technially do it, we just really shouldn't. Also as I've said before, the large scale resorts are just not my style, but I have considered Couples San Souci which would take the cost down to about $5500.

We're just both so frustrated because we'd really like to do a very nice beach resort and it's just not turning out for us. Please oh please, if you have ideas on how to get to a small AI in the Carribean for under about $4k I'd love to hear it. Mexico, Costa Rica and St. Lucia are out. We love the smaller islands, but they're so pricey to fly to. Sigh....I'm going to have to start compromising.

Thank you all for your input!

BMcLeodTeam · December 2011

Having a DW does involve more compromise I find then the friends who planned locally... make a list of things that you want and prioritize... you might find something then that can fit the top priorities and you only have to compromise on something lower down on the list...

jacquiroxx · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_budget-gone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:080ef161-d05d-4274-87c6-5f3506d6ab38Post:c83d28f3-1a74-4450-9884-32d234d62e83">Re: HELP! Budget is gone</a>:
[QUOTE]Having a DW does involve more compromise I find then the friends who planned locally... make a list of things that you want and prioritize... you might find something then that can fit the top priorities and you only have to compromise on something lower down on the list...
Posted by BMcLeodTeam[/QUOTE]

This. Prioritizing often helps you lower the budget on some things that might not be as important. Do you really HAVE to have a welcome dinner? Do you NEED to provide passed hors deurves? Not saying that these are things that you guys are planning for, but I feel like there's always SOMETHING that can be either less emphasized or ruled out altogether. Go through your budget and wedding day and see what things you are willing to let go of or at settle for less on.

mfeo24 · December 2011

Thank you both! Here is a budget breakdown for our previous two choices so you can see where we're at, we really have compromised the heck out of this, but I think right now the best place to get it down is a less pricey flight and less fancy resort:

Flight (to Antigua)	699
Hotel (5 nights at Cocos)	4025
Wedding (at Cocos)	950
Dress (at most)	400
Suit (at most)	200
My Ring	700
His Ring (at most)	200
Photographer (estimate)	1000
	8873

OR

Flight (to Jamaica, included in Hotel)	0
Hotel (6 nights at Couples)	3688
Wedding (optional upgrades, cermony is free)	750
Dress (at most)	400
Suit (at most)	200
My Ring	700
His Ring (at most)	200
Photographer (included)	0
	5938

As for my comprises, it's really just things like the room type, spa packages, activities. Things specific to each resort. I was smaller boutique-like, he wants a few activities, we both want cheap.

BMcLeodTeam · December 2011

Could you look into a suit rental for less somewhere? I know a friends FI found a really cheap suit rental place, if you're not going for a tux (which it shows you're not) you might be able to find that cheaper...

What are the upgrades on the second wedding package?

ETA - if you get on some of the great sales, you could get your dress much cheaper too.... David's Bridal for example has a $99 sale. I have heard bad things on this board about David's Bridal, where people don't want to consider them, but I have heard some great things from those who have...

breaness · December 2011

I just wanted to quickly comment that I think the photographer is something that should be higher on the priority/splurge list. Your wedding photos are the only thing that will last from the wedding day. They'll even outlast your memories. Most resort photographers suck and the girls that have gone with the included photographers have been incredibly disappointed. The single most expensive item on our budget was our photographer and I couldn't be happier with that choice. Everyone constantly tells us how amazing our photos are and how every single one is better than the last.

I'm sure you can find other places to cut so that you can afford a good photographer.

Like Britt said, DB has great sales on dresses all the time. I personally didn't have a great experience with them, but my BFF did!

niknik15 · December 2011

Have you gotten your band yet? Maybe you could wait on getting a band for an anniversary? Your ring is absolutely gorgeous as is and would look fine without a second ring. I second Brea, pictures should be a very important part of the budget. But then again, it's whatever you feel is important, not me. It looks like you are pretty bare bones as it is.

minionlover · December 2011

If you choose Jamaica, you could cut your budget by not adding the extras for the wedding and just going with the free package.

I also wanted to say that either way, you are getting a great deal on your travel. $700 round trip for two people to Antigua is amazing. From NYC its $700 per person. As for Jamaica, not having to pay for airfare at all is great too. I haven't seen a deal that good yet.

The other thing that you could do is change the date for your wedding. I saw that your wedding date is at the end of March which isn't that far away. Have you thought about pushing it out a little so you could save up? That's what my FI and I did.

BMcLeodTeam · December 2011

If the 'upgrades' you purchased aren't necessary, cut those... that would free up a good chunk as well

If you cut the upgrades, cut your dress down to $100 (assuming you find something at the sale price mentioned) and cut the band at this time, that takes you down to $4186 for your second wedding location...

jtoly · December 2011

I think everyone has given great advice. If you don't want to give up a few things on your must have list maybe looking into other places. I know you mentioned no Mexico but they really have cheap packages at all inclusive resorts. For ex, I was there in Feb, stayed 8 nights in an amazing honeymoon suite and paid $2500 with our flights included in this price. But if your totally against changing locations, maybe downgrading your room amentities would be your best bet or as Cathy said, pushing back your date. My first wedding I was engaged for two years before I got married. I wanted to save enough money to make sure I got what I always dreamed of having. Good luck!

saric83 · December 2011

Maybe you could start checking out resorts in PuntaCana (the system won't let me put it as two words.) I did a search on Expedia from Baltimore to PC from 3/22-3/27, and a lot of the all-inclusive resorts are $1000-$1500 pp, so that might be more within the price range that could work for you guys. Otherwise, if you haven't already, check with a travel agent and tell them exactly what you told us and see what they can come up with!

mfeo24 · December 2011

:::Sigh:::: I think FI just called it off, after 3 months of planning. It's all just too frustrating. We really just want to be married and have kids. Delaying the wedding will just delay the spending, and we need that money for other things, now or later, it's still the same. We're in serious debt-payoff mode, and really want to start a family this year, and what amounts to just a fancy vacation doesn't fit into that. We've already been to Barbados and Italy this year, as well as other little trips, so it's not like we're missing out.

Thanks all for your help, many of the suggestions are certainly those I've considered. We're also butting heads on the photographer, it's important to me no matter which wedding route we choose - I come from a family of professional photographers and have shot a few weddings myself, just as a family friend - but FI doesn't understand... "why do we have to pay $3k for a 15 minute ceremony!?" The rest of your suggestions are still ones we planned on implimenting, but it's starting to look like a local JOP is what's in store. I just hope I can talk him into some photos and a nice dress.

breaness · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_budget-gone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:080ef161-d05d-4274-87c6-5f3506d6ab38Post:2be05dcb-733d-4489-88cf-2f196df8e5c3">Re: HELP! Budget is gone</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you gotten your band yet? Maybe you could wait on getting a band for an anniversary? Your ring is absolutely gorgeous as is and would look fine without a second ring. I second Brea, pictures should be a very important part of the budget. But then again, it's whatever you feel is important, not me. It looks like you are pretty bare bones as it is.
Posted by niknik15[/QUOTE]

<div>This is good advice. Your ring does look beautiful on its own. If you want to get a wedding band to use for the ceremony you could get a cheap silver or titanium band on Amazon. I bought a few in various sizes ($5-15 each) to see what I liked best before picking my white gold wedding band sight unseen. You can easily get something affordable as a stand in until you can afford the one you really want.</div>

mfeo24 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_budget-gone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:080ef161-d05d-4274-87c6-5f3506d6ab38Post:51e37296-6508-4988-9d34-b76f0137ca10">Re: HELP! Budget is gone</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP! Budget is gone : This is good advice. Your ring does look beautiful on its own. If you want to get a wedding band to use for the ceremony you could get a cheap silver or titanium band on Amazon. I bought a few in various sizes ($5-15 each) to see what I liked best before picking my white gold wedding band sight unseen. You can easily get something affordable as a stand in until you can afford the one you really want.
Posted by breaness[/QUOTE]

Thank you both for your compliments! I absolutely love it on it's own too! Waiting for the band is certainly and option, but I think on my list of priorities it goes:
Fiance
Marriage License/Officiant
Ring
Dress
Photos
Fancy beachside resort and all those other extras.

Although it's hard to say if the photos or dress are more important. I own some nice dresses already ;)

prettyfacegal · December 2011

Here are my throughts everyone has given great advice. I would go with the Jamaican Trip. You could try renting a bridal gown and suit (you are only going to wear it once). Also, instead of doing a bridal registry you could do a weddingmoon, in which you would ask for cash to assist in payment of the destination wedding. For those who just don't know what to give you. You can have a semi private meal in one of the resorts restuarants. Just my thought!!!

BMcLeodTeam · December 2011

Looking at your list of priorities I have to agree with your FI, I think maybe a DW isn't the best choice for you then, to stick within your budget and still have the things most important to you

jtoly · December 2011

I see you live in Baltimore. What about a nice ceremony in Inner harbor? I'm sure that would be a beautiful setting for a ceremony.

loramarie03 · December 2011

Have you looked at a boutique resort? Those are often cheaper than going with Sandals, or one of the large resorts. We are getting married at Coyaba Beach Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica and we are getting a really good deal... Also check with Beach Bum Vacation. I, along with several other girls, work with them (myagent is Melissa). They are free and will help you find something in your budget that works best for you and your FI.

jtoly · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_budget-gone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:080ef161-d05d-4274-87c6-5f3506d6ab38Post:ed7c7833-1ed0-48fa-8ed2-ae8636941a0b">Re: HELP! Budget is gone</a>:
[QUOTE]Here are my throughts everyone has given great advice. I would go with the Jamaican Trip. You could try renting a bridal gown and suit (you are only going to wear it once). Also, instead of doing a bridal registry you could do a weddingmoon, in which you would ask for cash to assist in payment of the destination wedding. For those who just don't know what to give you. You can have a semi private meal in one of the resorts restuarants. Just my thought!!!
Posted by prettyfacegal[/QUOTE]

My sister is registering for her honeymoon for her bridal shower, but you can do a weddingmoon!! She already owns a home and has everything. This is done in my area a lot. Another good idea!

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