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RSVP Complaint

rgomez27941rgomez27941
10 Comments
in August 2012 Weddings
So we made our RSVP's due July 1 for our August 4 wedding. We're still waiting for 21 of my fiance's people to turn in their RSVP's and only 7 of mine. I can't believe so many people are waiting till the last minute to send theirs in. It just means that we won't get to invite anyone on our b list.

I sent one of my invites to my good friend. I made hers with an "and guest" assuming that her bf that lives in another state would come if he was in town. It turns out he will not be in town, so I got her RSVP back with her sister's name on it? I think that is so weird. I don't even know how to take that. She knows a few other people at the wedding. I'm not sure why she would bring her sister as a guest. It's not like she's coming from out of town. The wedding is about 5 minutes from her house actually. I just think it's weird.
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Re: RSVP Complaint

  • RichNicci4211122RichNicci4211122
    100 Comments
    edited June 2012
    A lot of mine are waiting till the last minute too.  In fact I think that I will be making quite a few phone calls.  I am planning on making phone calls on July 7th and 8th so that there is still time to send out my b-list and get them back before the head count is due to the reception venue.  As for you friend, you extended a plus one.  You weren't specific on who that plus one was you only assumed that it was going to be her BF if he was in town. I have learned a valuable lesson with this planning process.  NEVER assume anything.  My sister called me up after she sent her RSVP which I clearly wrote her name and son, to inform me that she was brining two (yes 2) friends of hers from work.  SO if it's not one thing it's another. 
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  • DeClue82DeClue82
    500 Comments
    I actually had someone do this too... I DID NOT extend a plus one bc he doesn't have a girlfriend, and knows just about everyone attending. He sent it back for just himself, then facebook messaged me that Lindsay wanted to be his plus one bc she wanted to come to our wedding... I know this girl, but not well... I don't know if he is dating her or not... but I don't think they are... Of course I gave it to him, but it was just very strange...

    Your situation is weird too, but I think you have to just go with it...Looking back I'm glad that I mostly put the guests name on if it was a bf/gf situation.... but there are quite a few still floating out there that just say guest... 
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
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    edited June 2012
    We invited everyone's SO, but we didn't give plus 1's to anyone who is truly single if they know several other guests. The only exception is the wedding party. I had a single friend who did not receive a plus 1 ask if he could bring a random friend of his that I don't even know. I told him that at this point we just don't have the space and I would let him know if this would be possible later. Then, he offered to give me 20 dollars if his friend could come. I was pretty mortified so I just changed the subject. Also, to some of the ladies that posted before, on TK B lists are really frowned upon. On the August board we are pretty easy going, but if you mention a B list on one of the main boards, prepare to be FLAMED. Just a heads up to avoid any problems in the future.
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  • mtbentleymtbentley
    100 Comments
    I am actually expecting most people to wait until the last minute. We are still waiting for about two thirds of our RSVPs with the due date 7/5 for an 8/4 wedding. I will probably have to call FI's family becuase they have never RSVPd to anything (not my baby shower, not my bridal shower, not birthday parties...). Im not worried but I expected this and I don't have a B list.

    I think if you put "and guest" that leaves it open so she can bring whoever she wants. We didn't want people doing that so we made sure we listed the BF/GFs actual names so it would be clear that it was that specific person who was invited, not just any random "and guest."

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  • iriscarmendiaziriscarmendiaz
    100 Comments
    I know what you mean. Our date is August 4th too, and we had to change our RSVP date to tomorrow (we gave a few weeks notice to the no-responses) instead of July 7th. Apparently, I forgot about 2 vendors that need final counts earlier. I'm giving myself 3 days to track down the last of people, so that I can submit my counts on the 1st as required.

    I don't know why people wait until the last minute, really. Ours is destination, and they KNOW the tickets are expensive and they KNOW the hotels are even worse (as we gave them notice of that 10 months out from the wedding in case they wished to save up). You'd think that if they needed to travel 3,000 miles that they'd KNOW if they could come 5 weeks out. Nope, not the case.

    People are just slow (and some feel bad saying no). I suggest wait until your RSVP date, and have a couple of people help you call and track down the last of the people. Don't do it all yourself!
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  • dramaqueen2985dramaqueen2985 member
    10 Comments
    Why are B lists frowned upon so much?  The people on my B list don't know they were on the B list...and the reason they're on there is that my venue only holds 240 people.  So naturally, I couldn't risk inviting more than 240 in case everybody decided they could come.  Of course, they couldn't all come, so by now I've invited 300 people.  But I just don't get why B lists are so taboo?  Can anyone give me some insight?

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  • iriscarmendiaziriscarmendiaz
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_rsvp-complaint?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:b1991bf3-a2e4-48b5-ae45-30d582822fc1Post:1645b79f-4879-44fc-b66e-09ae66ec0af4">Re: RSVP Complaint</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why are B lists frowned upon so much? <strong> The people on my B list don't know they were on the B list...</strong>and the reason they're on there is that my venue only holds 240 people.  So naturally, I couldn't risk inviting more than 240 in case everybody decided they could come.  Of course, they couldn't all come, so by now I've invited 300 people.  But I just don't get why B lists are so taboo?  Can anyone give me some insight?
    Posted by dramaqueen2985[/QUOTE]

    Most people don't pull off the "B List" well, which is why it's a problem. If people don't know they are on the B List, then it's fine. But a lot of B-List people get their invites a few days before the wedding, or even after the RSVP date, so it's really obvious. And no one wants to feel like a second string guest.
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  • EyejewelEyejewel member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Also if people on the B list know others that are in the original list or notice that the date for rsvp isnt that long they talk or figure it out.
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