"all about me"

Re: "all about me"

• stina93446 member

  

  October 2010

  I don't have a DH like your FI, BUT if you want him to feel more included, ask him if he'd like to help out. If he says no, stop feeling the way you do because he's shown that he's fine with not helping. If he says "sure baby, I'd love to pick out the DJ" or "I have this great idea on what the cake should look like" then let him help there. But word of advise: if he gives you an opinion, you DO need to listen to it. I would ask DH "what do you think of this?" and he'd tell me. He'd get super annoyed if I turned around and did the opposite. He'd even tell me, "Why bother even asking me if you're not going to take what I said to heart?"

  
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• mgietler76 member

  

  October 2010

  My FI likes to be involved in the things that really matter, like the food, booze, music and cake. I let him pick the first dance, the majority of the menu and the cake. Weddings are about both the bride and groom and people need to just compromise, like PP said though don't ask for an opinion if you don't plan on considering it.

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• [Deleted User]

  

  October 2010

  All my H wanted to know was when to show up and what to wear. Pretty much everything else he left to me. He gave his opinion when I asked, but overall he just wanted to be married and could have done without all the fuss.

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• gottahavashorti member

  

  October 2010

  DH didn't do a ton of planning but I got his opinions on some things to narrow our options before making a decision or gave him mine and had him decide.  He also liked to talk to his friends about how awesome his wedding was going to be.

  
  
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• jaimed99 member

  

  October 2010

  FI is pretty laid-back on the whole thing...he wants a say on the guys' attire, of course, and the food, but since he works all day, I'm stuck doing whatever planning will be going on (although he'll be laid off in Nov/Dec until Mar/Apr so we can get some things accomplished then) by myself or with friends. I'm not complaining, though

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  October 2010

  I definitely wanted a wedding that reflected both of us equally.  DH took care of the menu, selected the recessional and postlude, and came up with some songs to add to the reception playlist.  For pretty much everything else, we'd talk over the general ideas together, and then for specifics I'd narrow it down and either run it by him for approval, or let him choose between two or three final candidates.  (And that meant sticking with his decision, even if there was another that I liked a little better.)

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• bablingbrooke member

  

  October 2010

  DH wanted the wedding in the first place (I wanted to elope) but neither one of us was particularly concerned about the details.  What little planning we did opt to do ourselves, we did together.  Had I been into wedding planning, I don't think he would have been terribly interested in things like flowers or colors.  We were more interested in being married than the wedding, which, as far as we were concerned, was for the parents.  

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• KJo1016 member

  

  October 2010

  I think he's feeling that way because now that it's two weeks away, there's not *quite* as much stuff to do. Before, we would go to appointments together, and I would run stuff by him that I picked out, like wedding colors, invitations, etc. Like most FIs, he was usually like "sure, that looks good/that's fine" etc lol. He did pick the groom's cake, groomsman gifts, and tuxedo styles. But since we're also moving into an apartment together there's plenty NWR stuff to do, like setting up electricity and internet and renting a Uhaul truck. So we talked and he decided he would like to do all that stuff. (This is probably my biggest argument for living together before marriage, so you don't have to move AND plan a wedding at the same time. lol)

  
  

  He also used to joke that we should elope every time things started getting hectic Brooke pretty much hit the nail on the head about it being for the parents; I know a lot of the things I'm doing are sort of for my mom's benefit because I'm the first daughter to get married. But I don't mind because she and my dad are paying for most of it, and she's helped a lot.

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• filaw member

  

  October 2010

  DH was invaluable in planning.  He actually was incredibly helpful on things like recessional song, band break playlists, invitation wording, writing our vows together, etc.  He's the "writer" between us, so I don't know what I would have done without him on anything that involved words.  He came with to all the vendor interviews (except flowers and linens).  I made a lot of decisions final details decisions like what color paper the invites were, etc.  But he helped with pretty much everything but the "aesthetics".  

  
  

  He also kept me sane.  I think it really brought us together trying to deal with the challenges that crazy vendors and demanding family presented.  

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