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International Catholic

riniel54riniel54
in Catholic Weddings

My fiance and I have a bit of a problem. First off, he lives in London and I live in the states. He is roman catholic and I used to be catholic, but have since then converted to Baptist. When we were dating, the family never had a problem with me not being Catholic. However, now we are engaged and planning a wedding. Now, they are insisting that we get married in a Catholic church or not get married at all. This is very emotionally stressful for me and my fiance doesn't know what to do. We have no idea how to take the first step in finding a church here that will marry us since I do not belong to one. Also, how would we go through counseling together if we are in different countries? We wanted to have the wedding in America, because it will be less expensive, however it is looking impossible with the Catholic rules for marriages. Does anyone have an suggestions or advice?

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Re: International Catholic

  • erin5286erin5286
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    My first suggestion would be to have a serious discussion with your fiance, and make sure that the two of you are getting married in a Catholic church because you both want to, not because his family is insisting upon it.  It will definitely come up in your marriage prep with the Catholic church, so I encourage you to discuss it ahead of time and make sure you both are on the same page.

    If you both decide that's what you really want to do, I would suggest contacting some churches in your area.  It is possible to get married in a church where you're not a registered member - my FI and I are, we both attend the church but just have never registered.  Other than having to pay a higher fee to use the church, I don't think there's any difference for us, although that may differ from parish to parish.

    Another reason I suggest contacting churches in your area/where you'd like to actually get married is that the marriage prep requirements to vary from parish to parish.  Whatever church you ultimately decide to get married at (whether it's a Catholic church or not) can help you with whatever is required to be married there.  As far as you and your FI being in different countries, I'm sure that they would be able to work with you in allowing you to do some of the required steps separately (I've heard of this being done before for couples who are long-distance, one in the military, etc.)  In this age of technology, maybe some of your meeting with a priest could be done with your fiance via webcam or Skype or something.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    My first suggestion would be to have a serious discussion with your fiance, and make sure that the two of you are getting married in a Catholic church because you both want to, not because his family is insisting upon it. It will definitely come up in your marriage prep with the Catholic church, so I encourage you to discuss it ahead of time and make sure you both are on the same page.

    this.  the first thing you need to understand is that as a catholic, if your FI marries in another church, his marriage will nto be valid in the eyes of the catholic church.  that's obviously a big deal for his family, and may very well be a big deal for him.

    i would contact a priest at a local parish where you live and speak with him.  have your FI do the same where he is.  they will guide you.
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