Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??

jenlsees · January 2012

My FI is absolutely insistent on he and his brother wearing zoot suits to the wedding. I'm in a bit of a panic--there's no talking them out of it. The only thing in the wedding/reception that I actually had a rule about, and it's the one thing he decides to be difficult about. A zoot suit, really??

I don't know how to talk him out of it. Everytime I say he can wear any tux or suit in the world but that, it turns into "But I want to wear a zoot suit!"

Is it JUST me, or am I wrong that my husband to be showing up in a zoot suit to traditional ceremony would make it all look like something of a joke? And that zoot suits are not only out dated, but stupid looking? I don't know what to do, how to talk him out of it. But we are about to fight over this stupid suit.

andrea2473 · January 2012

I feel for you. That's a terrible choice, but it's his choice. Does he get a say in your dress? If so, then you two can talk and compromise. If not, then he should be able to choose his own attire as well. And if he really likes zoot suits, then...I'm sorry.

However, if he's just doing it to be silly, then he needs to gain some perspective. This is a wedding, not a costume party.

SCogs18 · January 2012

I would fight my FI on this one. PPs have made a lot of valid points. There are the racial connotations, plus he will look rediculous. Honestly, if my my FI was talking about wearing a zoot suit I would do the following two things: I would tell him that he is being disrepectful to the meaning of marriage by making a joke out of his attire and then I would call his mother. My FMIL is not a plesant woman and if she and I were BOTH made at FI his life would be miserable. Seriously, you could call their mother... It sounds crazy, but I'm sure she will be with you on this one.

Avion22 · January 2012

Is there any way you can compromimse? Maybe he can wear a nice suit or tux for the cermeony and pictures, then change into the zoot suit for the reception?

entropicbeauty · January 2012

Uhm, it is his wedding too and if he sincerely wants to wear a zoot suit you should respect his wishes.

Is it possible he doesn't actually know what a real zoot suit looks like? Some people have warped images in their mind of what something is supposed to look like so he might be thinking of something else entirely.

Be thankful he doesn't want to wear khakis and a sport coat to your formal wedding...

santana9505 · January 2012

Be thankful he doesn't want to wear an all camouflage tuxedo. My FI and I butt heads for like three months about what he wanted to wear. Finally, we came to a compromise, but that's something you have to work with on your FI.

I like the happy wife, happy life thing. Good luck.

meganb1977 · January 2012

I can see why you're concerned and you don't want things to look costume-y and a zoot suit really isn't appropriate for standing in a wedding! And why you're even more concerned that he doesn't seem willing to compromise.

Perhaps you won't butt heads quite as much if you can get someone to help mediate or a third party to back you up like his mother, sister, even his brother if his brother happens to be opposed to the zoot suit...I know sometimes when we have a disagreement my fiance will stand down when he sees that a neutral person agrees with me and it's not just me making an issue out of something. It might be especially valuable if you can get a guy's opinion maybe from a mutual male friend to tell him a zoot suit wouldn't be appropriate.

I like Avion's idea of him wearing the zoot suit at the reception -- I've been to a wedding recently where both the bride and groom changed into something more casual before they left. Perhaps this would allow a compromise where he would respect the solemnity of the ceremony but he could still wear a zoot suit that day since he has his heart set on it. Or could the guys do zoot suits for the rehearsal dinner, or his bachelor party?

Are there elements of the zoot suit (funky tie, vintage shoes, hat, the jacket if he had regular slacks) that you could live with, that he could combine with the current style suit/tuxedo of his choice? If he wants to step outside the box and be unique, can you support it, and how can he do it in a way that will still be appropriate? How about a funky color shirt and tie with his tuxedo? Try to approach him with the idea of "what if" instead of "absolutely not" and maybe he'll be more open to discussion.

TheDoctor10 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_oh-goodness-zoot-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:841dfa6e-e8ea-419b-97b2-51f4016e5766Post:930af854-89e8-4759-ad3c-ee2dc1b90a17">Re: Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??</a>:
[QUOTE]"Happy wife, happy life." Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]<div>Quoted for truth.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, are you absolutely sure he's not just joking around with you? I apologize for casting doubt, but this seems a bit far-fetched. I'd rule out the possibility of teasing before launching a full-scale intervention.</div><div>
</div><div>If he's serious, you'll probably need to wage war on all fronts. Relate this silliness to everyone he knows and have them grill him for it. Yes, <em>shame</em> him into accepting more...reasonable attire for your wedding day. </div><div>
</div><div>...and perhaps mollify him afterward by promising you'll attend a swing dance in full costume.</div>

wink0erin · January 2012

An idea for compromise... find out what parts of the zoot suit he finds most appealing, and try to find a tux/suit that both of you can agree on. Maybe he just really wants pinstripes?

To me a zoot suit isn't a zoot suit without the hat... so perhaps he can show up to the reception with the hat. A friend of mine's husand really wanted a cane and tophat... so he wore it for some pictures and into the reception. They became fun props during dancing.

MyUserName1 · January 2012

Does he know what a zoot suit ACTUALLY looks like?

Or does he think a zoot suit is just a pinstripe suit with a cane and fancy hat?

Because an actual zoot suit is YARDS AND YARDS of fabric. It's essentially hammer pants with a bathrobe.

mellimel19 · January 2012

Like others have suggested, perhaps your FI doesn't exactly know what a real zoot suit looks like. Perhaps you could look at pictures together and incorporate the elements of it that he likes into his attire? My FI wants to wear a zoot suit as well, but a more modified, toned down version of the real ones. I figure it's his day too, and if that's something he truly wants to do, hey go for it. I know if I had my heart set on a certain style of dress and FI told me I couldn't wear that, I wouldn't be very happy.

jenlsees · January 2012

Thanks all, y'all make me feel less control freak. I think he is unaware of the racial connotations of those suits, he just thinks the 40's was an interesting time period. I just want to snap at him "You're a soldier, not a mobster!"

In regards to whether or not he's serious--yes, he's serious. He gets pretty upset when I flat out turn the option down. But, I do think that he has in his head an image of a more "toned down," contemporary zoot suit than the original 40's style.

I'm thinking we can manage a compromise. I looked at some suits that have some pants with looser fits but shorter jackets, or fitted pants and just slightly long jackets, and I don't mind them. Just the full on, originally styled zoot suit--can't do it. We've just got to talk about it, and I've found some pictures to explain what I'm thinking. If that doesn't work, and he falls in love with the actualy zoot, I'm going to have to call in the reinforcements like PP said.

Thanks again, y'all!

Greyeyedmonster · January 2012

*facepalm*
I wish i had advice for you.. I can only sympathize. I love it when guys WANT to be involved with the wedding and make decisions.. mine does. However, there should be limitations... and this has crossed that line. I'm so sorry.

Grits8812 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_oh-goodness-zoot-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:841dfa6e-e8ea-419b-97b2-51f4016e5766Post:c2a3f7cc-056b-42c8-ae6e-fe950b8602b9">Re: Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??</a>:
[QUOTE]Be thankful he doesn't want to wear an all camouflage tuxedo. My FI and I butt heads for like three months about what he wanted to wear. Finally, we came to a compromise, but that's something you have to work with on your FI. I like the happy wife, happy life thing. Good luck.
Posted by santana9505[/QUOTE]
Oh no. I'm all for camo, and even picked a camo vest and tie for my prom date senior year, but not head to toe, jacket and all. Someone else there did that, and all I have to say is be thankful you won that argument.

Grits8812 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_oh-goodness-zoot-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:841dfa6e-e8ea-419b-97b2-51f4016e5766Post:5eeb07c8-7c94-40ce-bd2a-29122d1b313c">Re: Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??</a>:
[QUOTE]Does he know what a zoot suit ACTUALLY looks like? Or does he think a zoot suit is just a pinstripe suit with a cane and fancy hat? Because an actual zoot suit is YARDS AND YARDS of fabric. <strong> It's essentially hammer pants with a bathrobe.</strong>
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]
Hahahaha. I suggest the PP tell this to her FI when they get in another disagreement about it. <div>
</div><div>
</div>

lorinori · January 2012

Zoot Suits are amazing!! My husband and his groomsmen all wore one and they looked amazing!!! People still talk about how amazing they looked. My hubby wore a hat (not during the ceremony) and a long chain, the shoes were black and white. It was awesome. It was the one thing that my husband really wanted and it turned out so great! I truly believe that something different is good in a wedding....it makes it more memorable and fun!! Give it a chance before you say no!!! Here is a picture of my hubby in his zoot suit the day we got married. One of his groomsman loved it so much he used them for his wedding too!! Good Luck! I hope this helps!!!

MrsCuenca · February 2012

What's so wrong with the Zoot suite? I think it's awesome, my fiance will be wearing one. I don't see how it comes off as a joke, the Zoot suite comes in updated styles and are very formal too. My wedding is a 1940's Pachuco wedding with a modern twist. Maybe you should google Zoot suites you just might be surprised.

timbersheba · July 2012

My fiance is wearig one and i picked out and im thinking about having his men wear the vest instead of the whole jacket but with hats i do have a pick of the suit were going to use if you like to see it just message me. In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_oh-goodness-zoot-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:841dfa6e-e8ea-419b-97b2-51f4016e5766Post:f59b7322-8d76-47b7-8c2c-126ba6a18412">Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is absolutely insistent on he and his brother wearing zoot suits to the wedding. I'm in a bit of a panic--there's no talking them out of it. The only thing in the wedding/reception that I actually had a rule about, and it's the one thing he decides to be difficult about. A zoot suit, really?? I don't know how to talk him out of it. Everytime I say he can wear any tux or suit in the world but that, it turns into "But I want to wear a zoot suit!" Is it JUST me, or am I wrong that my husband to be showing up in a zoot suit to traditional ceremony would make it all look like something of a joke? And that zoot suits are not only out dated, but stupid looking? I don't know what to do, how to talk him out of it. But we are about to fight over this stupid suit.
Posted by jenlsees[/QUOTE]

Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??

Re: Oh my goodness, a zoot suit??

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