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Need some bridesmaid help...

alli&brialli&bri member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Sorry if this ends up being long, but I need some opinions. 

I'm getting married in August, and have 6 bridesmaids and 1 matron of honor.  5 of my bridesmaids and my matron of honor I have no issues with.  But 1 of my bridesmaids had kinda dropped off the face of the earth.  I live far apart from all of my bridal party, so we all keep in touch through phone and email.  The rest of the group let me know when the ordered their dresses, but 1 girl has not (she's a good friend from college).  After about a month of trying to get in touch with her just to say hey and see how she was, she sent me an email saying she had some stuff going on, and that she was not sure if she could make it to the wedding.  She said she would call me soon to catch up.

A few weeks later...I still had not heard from her.  For another month now, I've been calling, texting and emailing...with no response.  At this point, I do not even know if she has ordered her dress, or if she even plans on being at the wedding.  She is still not returning my calls, and I am kinda lost on what to do.  If she cannot be in the wedding for personal or money issues, that's okay, I just want to know.

Thoughts?
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Re: Need some bridesmaid help...

  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't stress...if she can't do it, she can't do it.  What's the worst that happens?  She doesn't show and you will still be married at the end of the day!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • StacyJennigesStacyJenniges
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That is a tough one.  I think that your best thing may be to stop trying to call her and letting her come to you.  From what i have read you have let her know that you care about her so I think buggin her anymore may just frustrate her. I would be prepaired for her not show up.  Be understanding of her situation.  I know that this cannot be easy to deal with and you probably freeking out.  But I don't really think there is much you can do. 
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
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  • covejackcovejack
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If she shows up with a dress and a smile, she's in the wedding.  If not, it's not a tragedy.  Do you have mutual friends that you can ask about how she's doing?  Are you worried about her?  I think if she was my friend I'd be concerned.
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  • alli&brialli&bri member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I think that's a big part of what's bothering me.  I'm just kinda worried about what's going on in her life that she alluded to in the email...but hadn't expanded on since.
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  • covejackcovejack
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_need-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4c5d0b57-0bcb-40fd-ab83-67fe52be0ee0Post:9b6e3284-a4a9-4f26-83b4-22f65dd9af4d">Re: Need some bridesmaid help...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, I think that's a big part of what's bothering me.  I'm just kinda worried about what's going on in her life that she alluded to in the email...but hadn't expanded on since.
    Posted by alli&bri[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I agree.  Do you have anyone you can ask if she's ok?
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_need-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4c5d0b57-0bcb-40fd-ab83-67fe52be0ee0Post:783be3f0-fa98-406c-8924-016fac64d743">Re: Need some bridesmaid help...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't stress...if she can't do it, she can't do it.  What's the worst that happens?  She doesn't show and you will still be married at the end of the day!
    Posted by Muffin'sMom[/QUOTE]
    This.  And when you speak with her next, ask her what's going on.  Try not to talk about your wedding.  If it hasn't come up by the end of the conversation then ask if she knows what she's planning on doing.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You still have a few months until your wedding. I would just try to contact her, ask other mutual friends if they have heard from her, but don't make it about the wedding, ask how she is, if everything is okay and such. 
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  • ADTonkADTonk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you don't hear from her and she doesn't come, then so be it.  If you've added her name into programs or something, so be it.  Just because she is going through something, it doesn't mean you can't honor her. 

    If she can come and still wants to come, she will. Don't stress!
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