Prenup Poll

Knot Lili · May 2012

We are polling brides for an upcoming segment we are doing! Let us know what YOU think.

gedert014 · May 2012

I don't want to go into my marriage thinking that it won't succeed. It seems silly to do all that when you don't know what's going to happen in the future. I'd like to believe that my marriage will be great and will last my lifetime and I don't want any doubts going into it.

Plus, the only thing we really have going into it is my car. Silly to do that for just my car.

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

This. I don't like the "unromantic" option because it's not unromantic, it's practical. But regardless, we didn't sign one for the same reasons as LL.

ChristineNB · May 2012

We aren't signing one but it's not because it's not "unromantic" it's because neither one of us are bringing any assests of any value into the marriage. We rent our home, we each own are own cars, and neither of us have a significant amount of money in the bank. We also have no inheritance, stocks, etc. So what's the point?

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

And congrats on the new job Knot Lili! It looks like you just started at TK last week.

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:0a7febf0-8982-4dd4-a272-4ca41ca3bf2e">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]We aren't signing one but it's not because it's not "unromantic" it's because neither one of us are bringing any assests of any value into the marriage. We rent our home, we each own are own cars, and neither of us have a significant amount of money in the bank. We also have no inheritance, stocks, etc. So what's the point?
Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

Agree with all of this. I think when either party (or both) have significant assets it is IMPERATIVE to sign a prenup. I would have done it to prove that I wasn't in it for the money. It is a very practical thing, no different than a will.

Knot Lili · May 2012

@<strong>LaBellaVita23 Thanks! I started on Monday! Love TK so far!

</strong>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:d6fb4b4d-31df-499f-b132-c5d5ddde6aed">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]And congrats on the new job Knot Lili! It looks like you just started at TK last week.
Posted by LaBellaVita23[/QUOTE]

achiduck · May 2012

I didn't vote because neither option works for me.

I offered to sign a pre-nup since FI bought our condo before I even knew him but he said he didn't feel it was necessary as he only owned it about 18 months before I moved in and starting paying half the mortgage so he wouldn't have accumulated much equity to date.

We're still thinking about signing a pre-nup as I will inherit half of my father's house (my brother gets the other half) when he passes away.

rlavach · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:8fef05ea-3c07-4902-b056-9ef317e6548e">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]@ LaBellaVita23 Thanks! I started on Monday! Love TK so far! In Response to Re: Prenup Poll :
Posted by Knot Lili[/QUOTE]
Oh wait, so this is a real TK employee? From the wording of the poll and only having 1 post, I thought this was a fake.<div>
</div><div>I agree with others in not voting because I don't agree with either. </div>

AceTT · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
This, exactly. If one or both of us had a ton of assets, then of course we would have signed a prenup. But we didn't; we have more debt than asset value, so clearly it's not an issue. The truth of the matter is that yes, it's unromantic to sign a document that determines how to separate assets if the marriage ends, but it's 100% practical if one or both people go into the marriage with significant assets.

AceTT · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:8fef05ea-3c07-4902-b056-9ef317e6548e">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]@ LaBellaVita23 Thanks! I started on Monday! Love TK so far! In Response to Re: Prenup Poll :
Posted by Knot Lili[/QUOTE]
Welcome to TK! Just a quick tip - posters generally prefer to see a response to a quote BELOW the quote. It reads much more logically than when it is above the quote.<div>
</div><div>Also, does anyone else agree that TK employees should have some kind of special banner above their name, in the way that Mods do? Perhaps something that says "TK Employee," just to verify the poster is, in fact, a TK employee. Couldn't anyone off the street create a username like "Knot Jenny" and pose as a TK employee? I'm sure TK would shut it down immediately, but it could still happen.</div>

Maggie0829 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:20b995fb-2a37-42b1-b8d5-5d745d2fa58d">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't vote because neither option works for me. I offered to sign a pre-nup since FI bought our condo before I even knew him but he said he didn't feel it was necessary as he only owned it about 18 months before I moved in and starting paying half the mortgage so he wouldn't have accumulated much equity to date. We're still thinking about signing a pre-nup as I will inherit half of my father's house (my brother gets the other half) when he passes away.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

Um, so you are paying half the mortgage for the condo but you don't have any plans of getting your name on the deed? Yeah, that wouldn't fly with me. I wouldn't want to feel like I was renting from my husband.

I do understand why you would want to sign a pre-nup in regards to your inheritance though.

cnf2013 · May 2012

We won't be signing one. Neither of us have any real assest to cover. We bought a house together already but signed paperwork detailing the agreements of how it would be handled should we ever split up, as per our lawyers recommendation. But that's it. I didn't vote because both options suck.

AceTT · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:8ca4086c-a784-43d9-9ebe-d7f907761cfe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Prenup Poll : No, you actually can't. Plenty of people have tried before but the knot won't allow it.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
You learn something new every day!

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

It makes me wonder if TK has a policy never to hire someone for a job if someone with their name has held it previously. I mean you can't recreate a "Knot Annie" screenname since people would get confused, ya know?

Or if another Anne was hired, would she have a fake name on TK?

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

It makes me wonder if TK has a policy not to hire employees with duplicate names. I mean there can never be another "Knot Annie" since people would get confused, ya know?

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:7f644e8e-8ea3-44a9-8e00-ab2f945cbd72">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]We absolutely signed one. After watching my brother endure a 3 year divorce, I wouldn't get married without one. Honestly, I would advise everyone to get one whether you have current assets or not. A pre-nup can outline much more than just your current assets and why not work all that crap out when you're in a good place? Trying to work things out when you're upset/emotional/angry/whatever is much more difficult. At the end of my bro's three year ordeal, you know who made out? The attorneys, that's who.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Just curious... how could it help those with very few assets? I know different states have different alimony laws. Does it have anything to do with that?

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:59f2a918-0763-463c-b81a-06a454a28a7d">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Prenup Poll : Just curious... how could it help those with very few assets? I know different states have different alimony laws. Does it have anything to do with that?
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

Theoretically, you can put anything in a prenup as it doesn't have to be just assets. It could be who gets the dog if you divorce, what (if any) alimony will be paid out and for how long (regardless of what you're bringing into the marriage), who gets the house, etc.

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:a6326cec-9df7-4004-bafd-3ebcded7ad55">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Prenup Poll : Theoretically, you can put anything in a prenup as it doesn't have to be just assets. It could be<strong> who gets the dog</strong> if you divorce, what (if any) alimony will be paid out and for how long (regardless of what you're bringing into the marriage), who gets the house, etc.
Posted by LaBellaVita23[/QUOTE]

We call it and see whoever it goes to, just like in Monkey Trouble. :)

librababy · May 2012

No, but not because it's unromantic. We have been together 13 years, have 3 kids and don't really have much in the way of assets. Just the house and car. Fi does have a small trust fund coming to him when (if) his parents are gone and this house is technically his since ffil built it for him (us)... but it is his house however, it was built with us in mind. I am not worried about that. Trust me. Not prenup needed here.

HobokensFury · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

This. Half of nothing is nothing so we didn't need one.

lyndausvi · May 2012

I agree the options suck.

FYI- pre-nups are not just for divorce. They can be used for death also.

AbbeyS2011 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

I agree. It depends on the situation of the two people getting married. If I was independently wealthy before I married, I would definitely have one, same for H.

You need some more options for this poll.

jemmini6 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. Neither one of us had any significant assets, so a pre-nup didn't make much sense. If one or both of us did, I would have no hesitation about signing one.

I know pre-nups can cover other stuff as well, and we briefly considered it, but there are way too many unknowns (ie, kids, etc) that we didn't really feel a pre-nup could adequately cover at this point that would have made it worth the expense of drafting one.

goobersinlove · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_prenup-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e4153c42-e42c-4abe-a577-78c78df118daPost:6978bd9f-0cc3-4887-93bb-b6ca19b232fe">Re: Prenup Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Your poll options are terrible. We didn't sign one but it wasn't because we found prenups "unromantic." We didn't sign one because neither of us were bringing much into the marriage. If either of us had more assets we would have, without a doubt.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

This, 100%.

jennipea382 · May 2012

I don't think that we will. As others have stated, we don't really have a whole lot. We rent an apartment right now and the biggest "asset" either of us has is our cars. Though mine is actually still in my parents name anyways, so at the moment it's not an issue. We haven't bought a lot of stuff "together" yet (just our new bed) so anything we have right now would just go back to whoever brought it. Honestly, my biggest worry is our cats. We've talked before about what would happen if we did end up breaking up for some reason. We both see our cats almost like our kids, so it would be so tough to let one or both of them go. And splitting them up would suck :-(

However, a PP mentioned that it's not about expecting the marriage to end - it's being prepared just in case. It might suck to think about it, but divorce happens. If you're worried about your assets, money, whatever, I don't think it's a bad idea. I'm not totally against the idea, I just don't think it's necessary for us. I know I can't predict the future but I feel like if we were to get divorced, we would still get along well enough to be at least somewhat civil to each other when it came to splitting things up.

Oh, I guess I lied, there is one more thing I'd worry about - my 401k. I just started one at my new job. There isn't a lot in there at the moment but someday there (hopefully) will be. So if we got divorced, he would get part of that? I think that's one thing I'd sign a prenup on, but I don't know how it all works..

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

We didn't sign one. It wasn't because they aren't romantic. I would never make a poor financial decision because it wasn't romantic.

We primarily didn't because we didn't have anything. We did enter into a contract when we bought our first condo together (prior to marriage) to protect us and lay out how it would be divided if we split. So really, it was already covered.

Gabrielle76 · May 2012

No pre-nup for us, mostly because we don't have anything valuable, and we agree with the alimony laws of our state. If we move, we might consider drawing up something, but probably not.

danigirl7181 · May 2012

We are not signing one and I am bringing a house into the marriage. Though we have talked about what would happen if we would divorce for some reason. We have a daughter so we have to think about that. We talked about where would would live, custody, how we would handle dating and bringing someone else into our childs life (not in great detail, but it had to be talked about). We don't want to ever get divorced but we have to think about our daughter and know that we will not use her to get back at the other, that happens too often in divorced couples.

That being said I really do believe I will spend the rest of my life with him. He annoys the day lights out of me sometimes but I love him more then anything despite that.

RamonaFlowers · May 2012

No prenup for us, but like PP, "romance" had nothing to do with it. We went into the marriage each with a crappy car that we owned free and clear, and our only other asset was the condo that we purchased together (Both of our names have been on the deed/mortgage since Day 1). If one of us had a trust fund/inheritance/child from a previous relationship/something worth protecting, there would have been one.

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