Save the date wording for out of state wedding/second reception

Re: Save the date wording for out of state wedding/second reception

• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  Don't send STDs for the 2nd "reception" b/c that is just a party. You can only have one wedding reception, and that happens on the day of your wedding.You wouldn't send STDs to a regular party you host, so don't do it for this party, either. Send invitations for a "celebration of marriage."

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• beardownbchs member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-the-date-wording-for-out-of-state-weddingsecond-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51737191-f3a2-4da0-a7c4-19190f5dea88Post:d5914778-876b-45c4-811c-59c4f1d2976d">Save the date wording for out of state wedding/second reception</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am getting married in out of state Minnesota in October 2013. My fiance's family and friends are from Missouri (where we currently live) so we are inviting many to the wedding but will be having a second reception here to include those who cannot make it. We would like to make it clear in the save the dates that the Minnesota wedding is not the only opportunity to celebrate with us- we feel like just listing the Minnesota wedding will pressure people who may have trouble making the trip into just making it work so that they can be involved. I haven't been able to find any information on how to properly word the save the dates in this case. Right now, we have Names are getting married October 26, 2013 St. Peter, Minnesota We were thinking of adding: (Additional? Alternate?) reception November 9, 2013 O'Fallon,, Missouri What wording should we use? Is this acceptable since we are sending these to people we want at our wedding but want to have the option of not making the trip? Also, when and how should we send invitations to those not invited to the wedding but to the second reception? I know traditionally these would be done with a wedding announcement but since our reception is only 2 weeks after the wedding, should we send out an invitation before? Should we say that we are having a small ceremony in MN? (It isn't exactly small... about 120 expected...) I just worry 2 weeks would not be enough notice, but wasn't sure how to word an invitation to just a reception. I can't wait to hear your advice :)
  Posted by polaroid_14[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>We're doing a destination wedding with a party at home and I had originally thought similarly to what you're thinking, but you need to do two seperate invites. No one will feel pressured to come to your wedding. If they can't come, they won't. Send everyone you want at the wedding a wedding invite. Then send everyone you want at the other party an invite to a party in celebration of your marriage. </div><div>
  </div><div>The second party is not a wedding nor a reception and should have no aspects of a wedding - no bridal party, no wedding gown, no first dance. Just good food, drinks, fun and maybe some pictures of your wedding.</div>

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• polaroid_14 member

  

  February 2013

  Thanks! That is helpful. beardownbchs, when are you doing your party at home?  Are you mailing out invitations before your wedding or doing them as an announcement/invitation after you are married?

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• jessicabessica member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-the-date-wording-for-out-of-state-weddingsecond-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51737191-f3a2-4da0-a7c4-19190f5dea88Post:d5914778-876b-45c4-811c-59c4f1d2976d">Save the date wording for out of state wedding/second reception</a>:
  [QUOTE]Also, when and how should we send invitations to those not invited to the wedding but to the second reception? I know traditionally these would be done with a wedding announcement but since our reception is only 2 weeks after the wedding, should we send out an invitation before? Should we say that we are having a small ceremony in MN? (It isn't exactly small... about 120 expected...) I just worry 2 weeks would not be enough notice, but wasn't sure how to word an invitation to just a reception. I can't wait to hear your advice :)
  Posted by polaroid_14[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I think you need to invite everyone to the wedding, and let them decide what they want to attend.  If you cannot afford to host them all at the wedding or don't have the space, you need to rethink your plans.  The only way you can get around inviting everyone to your ceremony is if you have a truly private ceremony (immediate family only), which you're clearly not doing.  What you are proposing to do is tiering your guests and saying that some people are good enough to be invited to both, whereas others only get the second reception invitation.  </div>

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• beardownbchs member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-the-date-wording-for-out-of-state-weddingsecond-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51737191-f3a2-4da0-a7c4-19190f5dea88Post:2d17a2b2-9349-449d-b0f3-6b1df25fc3cc">Re: Save the date wording for out of state wedding/second reception</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks! That is helpful. beardownbchs , when are you doing your party at home?  Are you mailing out invitations before your wedding or doing them as an announcement/invitation after you are married?
  Posted by polaroid_14[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>I'm really not sure yet. Our wedding won't be until next summer and we want to get all the wedding details down before we start planning the party at home, but I'm leaning towards sending the invites out after and making them an announcement as well. </div><div>
  </div><div>Come to think of it, I have heard of brides here doing an RSVP card in their invites like this:</div><div>
  </div><div>___Will be attending the wedding in Whitefish, MT</div><div>___Will be attending the celebration in Chicago, IL </div><div>___Regretfully decline</div><div>
  </div><div>
  </div><div>I doubt this is correct etiquette (please someone verify?) but if this is okay, then this will help people to know that there are two parties, especially if youre inviting everyone to both.</div>

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• KLR081013 member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  We are having a destination wedding in North Carolina with an at home celebration in Pennysvania the following month.
  
  All 120ish guests were invited to both, with the knowledge that only about 35 would travel with us.  The save the date said:
  
  "we hope you'll be able to save the date to join us as we say our vows next to the beautiful Lake Gaston in North Carolina on ....
  
  we understand that not everyone will be able to make the trip south with us, so we will also be celebrating with a casual picnic reception in Harrisburg, PA on ....
  
  we hope to celebrate with you at one or both of the events -- formal invites will follow this summer"

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