Younger sister involved somehow besides bridal party maybe?

Re: Younger sister involved somehow besides bridal party maybe?

• libby2483 member

  

  March 2013

  Bridesmaid or reader are really the only two honors that you could give her, unless she is musically talented and would like to sing or play an instrument for a song during the ceremony.  Anything else would just be a job.  If you don't want to include her as a BM, which is perfectly fine if you aren't close, just have her be a regular guest.  You could make her feel special with a corsage or ask if she wants to get ready with you that morning.

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  March 2013 edited March 2013

  It's OK to invite her as a guest; that's an honor too. If you are not close and don't want her in your WP, you aren't required to, but like you said, I would not just make up a random job for her. That wouldn't be an honor.
  
  Has she ever expressed interest in or seemed like she was upset she was left out of the WP? If she doesn't really care either way, I would let it go and have her as a guest. If she seems really upset about it, this is maybe the one time I would bend on the WP and invite her to be a BM to eliminate family drama and not hurt her feelings. Age doesn't come into play at all, so it would just be dependent upon how close you feel you are to her and if you want her as a BM.
  
  ETA: I can't tell if the main reason you didn't want her as a BM is because you feel she's too young (which does not matter) or because you just genuinely are not close with her.

  
  
  
  
  

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• brielleinlove member

  

  March 2013

  I'd invite her to be a BM.  It's very possible that at 12, being in a wedding party would thrill her.

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• Peledreamsofrain member

  

  March 2013

  The only really core duty of a bridesmaid is to stand and smile for pictures, a 12 year old can handle that much.  While normally I say that the bridal party should be your decision alone, sometimes the family is something to consider (IE if leaving her out is going to cause a huge issue).

  
  

  On a side note, if you do include her in the bridal party, don't bother with the "JR' title.  It's unecessary to point out that she's younger than everyone else.  People already know, and the only purpose "Jr" serves is to potentially embarrass her.

  Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• jennxriot member

  

  March 2013

  She was just in a family friends' wedding as a jr bridesmaid this past weekend and my mom said she was practically a nightmare. She was thrilled to be in it...but fought even the bride about wearing the dress. Not to mention being dramatic about not wanting to wear makeup and being a pain when it was time for pictures. It was all about her. I feel like at her age (11), she should be able to recognize its not. But that wasnt even my thought process in this post...thats just a little bit of insight. My main reason in all of this is we're not close. And knowing what I know now, as far as how she acted with someone who's not related, it really puts me off more since all she does is try pick fights with me almost daily.
  She has expessed interest in being a BM but I'm just not feeling it a bit.
  I do like the corsage or something to that effect idea, though. Thanks.

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• kmmssg mod

  

  March 2013

  Yeah, after her behavior at this last weekend, I would just give her a corsage and call it a day.  Especially if she is prone to pick fights with you just for the heck of it.  Yeah, 11 and 12 year olds do that, but all 4 of my girls knew at that age that pulling that crap was wrong.  Don't let anyone tell you it is just because of her age.  She is old enough to choose to act correctly.

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  March 2013 edited March 2013

  FWIW, my 13-year-old sister was one of my BMs.  She did just fine (although she did have to be told to be serious for a few pictures and reminded to just hold the flowers and not play with the FG's hair [which she did during the rehearsal, the FG didn't mind btw]).

  
  

  I think you could get away with just having her as a BM.  She just has to stand there for 45 minutes or so.

  
  

  If you don't really want to, you shouldn't have to but I think it would be a nice gesture.

  
  

  (and just as an aside, why in the world was that other bride making an 11-year-old child wear makeup in the first place?)

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• TT Bride 13 member

  

  March 2013

  Are you having programs for your ceremony? If so, you could have her hand those out. My 9 year old cousin was so excited when she found out I was getting married she automatically thought she was gonna be a flower girl lol, (she was one in her uncle's) and it was heartbreaking when I told her I already had my flower girls picked out but I suggested she and my other cousin hand out programs and she was thrilled. She stills feels like a part of the wedding and is so happy. You could have her do that, and if she acts like a brat like she did in the other wedding it won't be a huge deal.

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