So, I've always gotten along with my Fiance's mom. I don't particularly like her due to some of the choices she's made but for the sake of my fiance, I try my best to keep the peace. She makes Jordan feel guilty if we can't make it to some of his side of the family's events. She also talks in a really high, condescending voice to her kids and their significant others. I always feel like she is talking to us like we're still children and it drives me and my future sister-in-law crazy. Because his parents are divorced, we have to try to make it to three of every holiday, which obviously doesn't work out all the time. Our families are all spread out around Iowa, so we try to make it to my holiday and then one of his. I guess she probably doesn't like that we make it to my family's holiday and not always hers because we have to split up his mom and dad's side. (we're closer to my parents and his dad because they actually make an effort to see us, whereas if my fiance and I didn't go them, we would never see them)
When we got engaged at the beginnning of September I told my fiance that when we took pictures at the wedding, I did not want to take pictures of our entire distant famillies (meaning cousins, aunts, uncles) because I don't think they look good. I said I wanted only formal pictures of our immediate families and grandparents. He casually mentioned this to his mother. At Thanksgiving this year, my mom wanted a picture of my grandmother, who is 84, and her kids and grandkids. We very rarely have all my grandma's kids and grandkids at Thanksgiving so we took a huge family picture. My mom then posted it to facebook. My FMIL posts on the picture, "I thought no whole family pictures at the wedding?!? 'splain please!" My mom of course had no idea what was going on and asks me about it. After I read it, I called my fiance and told him to speak to his mom about what she meant. She said she was teasing my fiance about what he told her before. If she was just teasing, why would she post it on my mom's facebook picture? And why wouldn't she tag my fiance in the post? I am used to getting these kind of messages from my FMIL, but now she's brought my mom into it. I'm really offended. When she does it to me I let it go, but now that she has brought my mom into it, I can't help but be offended..
Maybe this is just the straw that broke the camel's back between us, but now I wish we were doing a destination wedding because then she and her husband wouldn't be able to afford to make it. She's not offering to pay for anything and takes every opportunity to ridicule my plans, so why should she have any say on what professional pictures are taken? My fiance has talked to her about it on several occasions, but she always brushes him off. I think he's frustrated, but he wants her approval too. What can I do to keep the peace? Just not give her wedding details and block her from posting on my and my family's facebook pages? Do I just let it go? Sorry this is so long, but I don't know what to do. Please help!