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July 2012 Weddings
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Oops!

hmacsinehmacsine
1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
in July 2012 Weddings
Ok forgive me for being naive. I was talking to mom and she said I'm supposed to allow single guests to bring dates. Is this true? When I made my guest list, I accounted for the people I knew were in relationship or married. I didn't know I was supposed to allow everyone to bring a friend/date. This could potentially add a ton of people. ( Ok not a ton) My guests are family, few friends and a some of my mom coworkers. I don't like the idea of having strangers at my wedding. I feel like money is just flying out the window!
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Re: Oops!

  • BeachLover2885BeachLover2885 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I'm not sure of the exact ettiquette, but I don't believe you  have to invite guests with plus ones, but I think it's a nice gesture. I know a lot of people who have never been invited to weddings with a guest (including myself) and it doesn't generally sit well with people.  That being said, I also know people who do get invited with a guest and do not actually bring one. 

    When we made our guest list, we accounted for single guests to bring dates, so we added them to our count at the beginning. Maybe you can just have certain guests bring plus ones (like people who don't know a lot of your guests, etc.)? If you have a lot of friends that are single but know each other, they might not feel the need to bring a date. 

    Also, maybe talk to your mom again about this and explain that you hadn't accounted for that number of guests. Maybe she can give you some more advice?

    HTH! 
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  • mekiakoomekiakoo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    You don't have to, but a lot can happen from the time you make your guest list to your wedding. Maybe some people will end up in a relationship by then. It's also a nice gesture. We accounted for every single person's guest too just in case.
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  • MadisonpennyMadisonpenny member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    No you don't.  If your guests are not married but are either engaged/long time boyfriend or girlfriend or have been dating for more than (it's usually) 6 months to a year.  Then you have them bring their date otherwise it's up to you, it's not a requirement for your guests to have a date.
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  • Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    You do not have to allow single people to bring dates.  If they are not seeing anyone serious I would not give them a plus one. 

    Some exceptions are:  I have people travelling to my wedding from foreign countries.  I felt that if they are willing to travel to my wedding and give so much of their time (and money) then I should be considerate enough give them a plus one.

    I have a good friend (my ex-boss) who won't know anyone there.  I felt that she should  have someone to talk to if by chance the people who I sit her with aren't polite enough to include her.

    If your single friends know your other single friends (or family) there's no need to invite them with a guest. If a single guest is truly alone and won't know anyone then I would ivite them with a plus 1. 
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  • dramaqueen91087dramaqueen91087
    500 Comments
    You don't have to invite guests for truly single people. That being said, if they are traveling far or won't know anyone at the wedding it is nice to give them a guest so they will have a travel buddy or someone to talk to. I'm not invting anyone with a date unless they are in a relationship. This has actually been a big fight with my mom over what constitutes a realtionship. She didn't want to invite my BM's boyfriend even though by the time of the wedding they will be together for over a year. OY.

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  • Rebis58Rebis58 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I (mostly) agree with PPs. The only point I disagree with is the 6 months to a year point. For me (and I am pretty sure proper etiquette) time-frame doesn't matter, it's what that person defines as a significant other. FI and I were in a serious relationship within the first two months. Some people move faster than others.

    I will for sure be inviting everyone who is dating someone with their date. I'm also going to give plus ones at LEAST to the people who won't know anyone, or to my single friends who will be the only one in a group of couples.

    To answer your question, you don't have to give plus ones to single people, but if you're able to it's a nice gesture.
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  • Melissa.hyltonMelissa.hylton
    100 Comments
    In my book EVERYONE is allowed a plus one. Until they RSVP me with a single count then they are considered single. 
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  • BrightFireflyBrightFirefly member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_oops?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:deb5e3ed-4299-4211-89f1-7a333ea5bc1ePost:5e20cee4-211d-4a32-a27b-c042cf7cc3df">Re: Oops!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't have to, but a lot can happen from the time you make your guest list to your wedding. Maybe some people will end up in a relationship by then. It's also a nice gesture. We accounted for every single person's guest too just in case.
    Posted by mekiakoo[/QUOTE]

    And single people who don't know anyone else at the wedding may be more comfortable if they can bring a date or a friend along with them.

    It isn't necessary IMO, but it's nice.
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    It's a nice gesture and I had the exact opposite fight with my mother about it.  She said not to give my friends dates and I said I should.  I am inviting them all with plus 1's but I doubt they will all show with dates since most will come as a group anyways.

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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    you don't have to.  We aren't allowing people to bring a guest...most of everyone has a S/O...
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