Parents Traditional.. Me not so much HELP

Re: Parents Traditional.. Me not so much HELP

• Avion22 member

  

  January 2012

  First of all, it's not your parents' responsibility to pay for your wedding.   Chances are they didn't offer because they simply can't afford it.  The economy sucks right now, and weddings are expensive.   So you should plan the wedding YOU can afford.

  
  

  Speaking of the economy, can you guys support yourselves while you finish school?  Do you both have jobs?  Can you pay your rent and bills without help from your parents?  If you can, then that's awesome.  I dind't have a well-paying (above minimum-wage) job until after I graduated, so there is no way I could have gotten married while still in school.  

  
  

  Ultimately it's your life and, assuming you're over 18 (which it sounds like you are) you can make your own decisions about when you get married.  You're old enough to deal with the consequences, and if you're ready, then do it.  Yep, your parents might be pissed and might never want to talk to you again -- I think this would be sh*tty of them to do, but you know that's a possibility, and if you're okay with that (and maybe you are, a lot of people stand up to their parents), then go for it.

  

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• redheadfsu member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  Just plan for the wedding you two can afford. Just don't talk wedding with your parents. Just send the invite when the time comes.
  
  However, with the economy how it is, waiting to finish school isn't such a bad idea. I had a very long engagement because I wanted to finish school first.

  Planning Bio
  Married 9/15/11

  
  *This is Not Legal Advice*

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• weeziespups member

  

  January 2012

  We plan to pay for the wedding ourselves - we don't mind that... i was just stating im sure thats the reason they haven't offered to help. 

  We do both have good jobs. I own my own business and am only going to school to back up the business end of my business. We can afford this.. it's more the frustration that they don't support us in what we are doing. 

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• redheadfsu member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_parents-traditional-not-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:90274a3f-239d-4cd0-a922-aaabcaa44c44Post:179a373c-ab51-4650-a214-f36fe6835515">Re: Parents Traditional.. Me not so much HELP</a>:
  [QUOTE]We plan to pay for the wedding ourselves - we don't mind that... i was just stating im sure thats the reason they haven't offered to help.  We do both have good jobs. I own my own business and am only going to school to back up the business end of my business. We can afford this.. it's more the frustration that they don't support us in what we are doing. 
  Posted by weeziespups[/QUOTE]
  
  Well, do they have* any other legitimate concerns?
  
  As in have you sat them down and said, "Mom & Dad, I really would like you to emotionally support my choice to get married. What reservations do you two have?"
   
  Then address any concerns they have. If they say waiting until you are done with school say, "You know I own my own business. That the classes will only expand my business; however, I can already support myself with my business. So I'm not sure why you think I need to wait, please explain."

  Planning Bio
  Married 9/15/11

  
  *This is Not Legal Advice*

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• weeziespups member

  

  January 2012

  Thats a good idea! And a great way to word it!

  THanks!!

  
  

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• toothpastechica member

  

  January 2012

  my parents are the same way...so are my fiances, this is part of the reason i live at home, i want my parents continued support in my life and in my marraige, so i sucked it up and didnt move in to the house we bought together, and am waiting till after the wedding....you dont have to be tradition but if your parents hold to that then you have no right to tell them they are wrong because they are more traditional then you, your best bet would be to plan your own wedding and invited them, dont expect them to pay for anything unless they offer (which is basic etiquitte anyways) and dont get made at them for not be thrilled that you are doing things differently then they would have liked, you have to love and accept them for who they are just as much as they should be loving and accepting you for who you are, its a 2 way street.

  May 2012 July Siggy: Favorite Vacation Spot Kaleden, BC
  

  
  My Blog:Through My Eyes

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• toothpastechica member

  

  January 2012

  sorry apparently im tired my spelling is aweful tonight!

  May 2012 July Siggy: Favorite Vacation Spot Kaleden, BC
  

  
  My Blog:Through My Eyes

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  January 2012

  If you and fi are supporting yourselves and paying for school, then you are adults, in every sense of the word. That means you get to decide on your living arrangements. If you are paying for your wedding, then you have the freedom of planning it, however  wherever and whenever you want.
  
  Set your date, book your venue. Give your parents the information. I hope they will decide to be happy about it, once they realize that you have made your decision. If they continue to bring negative energy, then don't discuss the wedding with them.

                     

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• mandctaft

  

  January 2012

  Just plan your wedding. They will suck it up and come,  even if they don't necessarily apporve of the timing. My parents told us at the beginning since I had been out on my own and FI and I will be living together before the wedding, that they aren't helping pay for the wedding, which I'm fine with. Just do what you want to do.

  

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